The Preachers Daughter

Discussion in 'OFF-Topic / Misc.' started by meatloaf109, Aug 22, 2012.

  1. meatloaf109

    meatloaf109 Well-Known Member

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    It was the summer of '76 and everything in America was painted Red, White, and Blue. I had a couple of blue things on me as well, but no real prospects to alleviate the condition. My mother decided it would be good for my soul, for me to help out with the vacation bible school held at the church. I was less than thrilled, until I got there and found out that Cathy, (TPD) would also be helping out. "Hmm," thought I, "I can impress her with my knowledge of WW2 aircraft, what teen girl wouldn't like that?"
    The answer is 99%, and Cathy was firmly in the majority. "O.k.," thought I, (again), "perhaps she is a tank person, I will try again." But by the end of the day, no suitable segue had presented itself, (for those of you that may be unfamiliar with the bible, it is short on tiger tank references.) and I was so seriously distracted by the contents of her blouse, that it was doubtful I could have expounded on the tiger anyways. I need not have despaired, because just before the end of the day, Cathy asked me if I wanted to walk her back to the parsonage. The short answer was "Yes!!!" (The long answer was **** yeah!!!, but we were in the church and they frown on that sort of language.) and, in due course, the moment arrived. To my suprise, she took the path that led, not to the parsonage, but to the lake. (I should point out that, in Minnesota, every path goes by a lake. 11,865 lakes, but I guess that would have looked stupid on the licence plates, so they just went with an even 10,000.)
    There was a nice secluded shady spot and she parked her perfect butt on the ground and pulled a pack of cigarettes out of her purse. The old adage, "If she smokes, she pokes", quickly flashed through my mind, as she aked me, "Do you smoke?" Now, no self respecting boy in the 70's didn't, so naturally I said, "Sure, but I finished my last pack before coming to V.B.S. this morning." She lit two and handed me one.
    I took a big pull at this, my first cigarette, and promply choked and coughed my brains out. "Not my brand," I explaned suavely, after I had wiped away the various fluids that were escaping my face. Then I noticed that she was not inhaling hers, just "mouthing" the smoke. She seemed to accept my explanation and there we sat, not exactly smoking.
    My mind was working overtime, (after the spinning had stopped.) I was trying to look interested in the incredibly interesting things that were coming out of those luscious lips, while trying to figure out when to make my move.
    Cathy solved that dilema by unbuttoning her blouse and leaning back, saying, "What are you waiting for?", and not knowing the answer myself, I leaned in for my first kiss.
    Unfortunately, this being my first experence with many things that day, I did not remember the cigarette in my hand and managed to knock the cherry off the end. (It probably goes without saying this was not the "cherry" I was hoping to knock off)
    It fell perfectly, down into the front of her bluejeans and that's when I learned how many swear words a preachers daughter knows!
    I still have the smoking habit 36 years later, the b***h.
     
  2. mikewint

    mikewint Well-Known Member

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    Ah yes, I recall the day the preacher's daughter took me behind the woodshed to show me the Holy Ghost. First time in my life I was ever taken completely by surprise. Like Adam: "Stand back Eve, there's no telling how big this thing is going to get". Loose women God bless them one and all!!
     
  3. razor1uk

    razor1uk Well-Known Member

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    He (or she) moves in mysterious ways, sometimes with some undulations thrown in... :D

    Being a Brit, not many preachers here perce, but found 'Yankie Gals' in the Carrib (Jost Van Dyke Island, Spanish Town..) similar in ethos, happy times....
    :)
     
  4. A4K

    A4K Well-Known Member

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    Great story Paul! :lol:

    No preacher's daughters for me, but a few different nationalities to compensate! :)
     
  5. michaelmaltby

    michaelmaltby Well-Known Member

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  6. N4521U

    N4521U Well-Known Member

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    You certainly are the authority mate!
    At least on the subject of the vocabulary of TPD!
    During them years, I was living on a peach ranch, 4 miles from the nearest neighbor.
    A lonely existence.

    Feel sorry for me yet????
     
  7. Njaco

    Njaco The Pop-Tart Whisperer
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    I finally found my brother from another mother!!!

    I, too, grew up around peach orchards (use gloves, use gloves, USE GLOVES!!!) and the preacher's daughter (Kathy) led me by the hand into the dark woods (New Jersey is surrounded by one large lake but in the south is mostly covered with peach orchards or large swaths of trees usually found in the books of J.R.R. Tolkien. The Sierra Club stays away from Jersey). Ahhhh, the smell of a Kool ciggie (*cough* ack* cough* cough*). The far away noises of the Methodist Church VBS. The...... This was before the eight thumbs on my hand matured into fingers!

    Meat, I know whereof thou speak!
     
  8. meatloaf109

    meatloaf109 Well-Known Member

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    Yep, as was said in the movie "It's a Wonderful Life", "Youth is wasted on the young!"
     
  9. meatloaf109

    meatloaf109 Well-Known Member

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    At least you had the peaches, Cathy never acknowledged my existence after that!
     
  10. mikewint

    mikewint Well-Known Member

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    #10 mikewint, Aug 22, 2012
    Last edited: Aug 22, 2012
    Peaches, well that explains a lot, you realize that peaches have that subtle cleft in them which is reminiscent of the .....
     

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  11. meatloaf109

    meatloaf109 Well-Known Member

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    Cleft chin of famous actor and respected NRA pres, the great Kirk Douglas?
    He was a fine conversationalist!
     
  12. mikewint

    mikewint Well-Known Member

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    my thought exactly, what else could it have been?
     
  13. meatloaf109

    meatloaf109 Well-Known Member

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    #13 meatloaf109, Aug 23, 2012
    Last edited: Aug 23, 2012
    A nice round butt?
     
  14. mikewint

    mikewint Well-Known Member

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    depends upon your orientation but tis a possible candidate. howsomever other clefts come to mind
     
  15. meatloaf109

    meatloaf109 Well-Known Member

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    I originally said "A P***y", but changed it!
     
  16. mikewint

    mikewint Well-Known Member

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    HMMM..., A paddy, nope that has a furrow; pansy, nope thays a flower; penny, nope; peony, nope nother flower; a phony pigmy porky piggy, naw; a privy potty, naw no cleft; a purty pudgy puppy don't think so; well last guess a pushy pygmy?
     
  17. meatloaf109

    meatloaf109 Well-Known Member

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    Yep! pygmy for the win!
     
  18. mikewint

    mikewint Well-Known Member

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    so the cleft chin pigmy, rather esoteric, and not my first choice but de gustibus non est disputandum
     
  19. meatloaf109

    meatloaf109 Well-Known Member

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    Or a snatch!
     
  20. mikewint

    mikewint Well-Known Member

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    AHH yes Beardius Clamatus. A fine creature once thought extinct
     

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