Why bacon is the most important food that has ever existed... (1 Viewer)

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I stopped eating U S KFC as I think they changed the "secret recipe" of herbs and spices. I have been a faithful follower since the 60s. Do they serve it with my next favorite food, pork fried rice?
 
EVERY amateur historian knows that while Germany might have been able to produce small quantities of individually-superior bacon, the Allies ability to produce and deploy HUUUUUUUGE quantities of sufficiently-delicious bacon across the globe was really THE decisive factor in winning the war in the West.........
 
.... while in the East, the Japanese Empire lacked their own, native bacon deposits in sufficient quantity. Forced to attempt to make-do with inferior substitutes (like sweet-and-sour pork.....), they cast covetous eyes on the vast bacon-y riches found in Malaya and the Dutch East Indies. This lead, of course, to the ultimately disastrous assault on Hawaii's Bastion of Bacon - Pearl Harbor (yeah, I spelt it the USian way.....don't judge me......). And we all know how that turned out: 80 years later, and the world is controlled by the shadowy elites behind the IBF (International Bacon Fund).... pulling the strings behind the curtains.........

OK, I'll stop now. I'm off to make a bacon sandwich........
 
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