Aviation 101

Discussion in 'OFF-Topic / Misc.' started by syscom3, Jun 24, 2012.

  1. syscom3

    syscom3 Pacific Historian

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    Aviation 101...

    A helicopter is a collection of rotating parts going round and round and reciprocating parts going up and down - all of them trying to become random in motion. Helicopters can't really fly - they're just so ugly that the earth repels them.

    If God meant man to fly, He'd have given him more money.

    A fool and his money are soon flying more airplane than he can handle.

    It's easy to make a small fortune in aviation. You start with a large fortune.

    Flying is not dangerous - crashing is dangerous.

    The probability of survival is equal to the angle of arrival.

    Gravity never loses! The best you can hope for is a draw!

    Takeoff's are optional. Landings are mandatory.

    Be wary when someone says,"let me show you something"

    If an airplane crashes and doesn't catch fire it is usually out of gas.

    Flying at night improves your hearing, that explains night noises.

    Try to keep the number of your landings equal to the number of your takeoffs.

    Every one already knows the definition of a 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. But very few know the definition of a 'great landing.' It's one after which you can use the airplane another time.

    There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing:
    Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

    Good judgment comes from experience and experience comes from bad judgment.

    Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.

    Always remember you fly an airplane with your head, not your hands.
    Never let an airplane take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.

    Remember, you're always a student in an airplane.

    Keep looking around; there's always something you've missed.

    You can't rewrite the laws of aerodynamics.

    There are old pilots, and there are bold pilots, but there are no old, bold, pilots!

    It's better to be down here wishing you were up there, than up there wishing you were down here.

    A thunderstorm is never as bad on the inside as it appears on the outside. It's worse.

    Things which do you no good in aviation: Altitude above you; Runway behind you; Fuel in the truck; Half a second ago; Approach plates in the car; The airspeed you don't have.

    Speed is life, altitude is life insurance. No one has ever collided with the sky.

    The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

    Any attempt to stretch fuel is guaranteed to increase headwind.

    The propeller is just a big fan in the front of the plane to keep the pilot cool.
    Want proof? Make it stop; then watch the pilot break out into a sweat.

    It's best to keep the pointed end going forward as much as possible.

    If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger, if you pull the stick back they get smaller..
    (Unless you keep pulling the stick back - then they get bigger again)

    You know you've landed with the wheels up when it takes full power to taxi.

    Flying is the perfect vocation for a man who wants to feel like a boy, but not for one who still is.

    Those who hoot with the owls by night, should not fly with the eagles by day.

    A male pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when he's flying, and about flying when he's with a woman.

    Any pilot who relies on a terminal forecast can be sold the Brooklyn Bridge. If he relies on winds-aloft reports he can be sold Niagara Falls.

    Asking what a pilot thinks about the FAA is like asking a fireplug what it thinks about dogs.

    Being an airline pilot would be great if you didn't have to go on all those trips.

    Trust your captain ..... but keep your seat belt securely fastened.

    The only thing worse than a captain who never flew as copilot is a copilot who once flew as a captain.

    Be nice to your first officer, he may be your captain at your next airline.

    If something doesn't seem right it probably isn't.
     
  2. Njaco

    Njaco The Pop-Tart Whisperer
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    Those are priceless!!!!!! :)
     
  3. Wayne Little

    Wayne Little Well-Known Member

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  4. Airframes

    Airframes Benevolens Magister

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  5. T Bolt

    T Bolt Well-Known Member

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  6. Gnomey

    Gnomey World Travelling Doctor
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    Awesome! :lol:
     
  7. mikewint

    mikewint Well-Known Member

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    Double excellent
     

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  8. bobbysocks

    bobbysocks Well-Known Member

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    and so true.....
     
  9. RabidAlien

    RabidAlien Active Member

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  10. futuredogfight

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    :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: That's all i can say!
     
  11. Vertigo

    Vertigo Member

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    Great! You know the FAA is probably watching you now!
     
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