I pulled up to the large overstuffed building that was BBC headquarters. It was a typical government building, all flash and no substance. I got out and was heading for the door when I heard some voices behind me yell;
"Hey You!"
"Nee!"
I turned to find seven bullies in green camo, running me down. It was obvious they were security.
"Who are you?" I asked.
The tall one spoke; "We are the Guards Who Say... Nee!"
I smirked; "No! Not the Guards Who Say Nee!"
"The same! We are the keepers of the sacred words: Nee, Pang, and Nee-wom!"
"Nee-wom!" They all spoke in unison.
"The Guards Who Say Nee demand a sacrifice!"
I decided to play the game; "Guards of Nee, I am but a simple traveller who seeks the enchanter who visited beyond these doors."
"Nee! Nee! Nee! Nee!" They all chimed in.
"Oh, ow!" I said. It hurt my ears.
Tall One spoke again; "We shall say 'nee' again to you if you do not appease us."
"Well, what is it you want?"
"We want... a shrubbery!"
Somewhere far off I heard an orchestra play a dramatic chord.
"A what?"
Again they all chimed in; "Nee! Nee!"
I pleaded; "Please, please! No more! I shall find a shrubbery." Jeez, that was annoying!
"You must return here with a shrubbery or else you will never pass through these doors alive!"
It was about time to end this; "O Guards of Nee, you are just and fair, and I will return with a shrubbery." I said.
"One that looks nice."
"Of course."
"And not too expensive."
"Yes."
"Now... go!"
And with that I left the BBC and the 7 Dwarves, thinking what to do next. I had to get Lucky. And I still had to pee.