Reluctantly, I turned to face my new tormentors. It was the 'BSG' in all their shiny glory. The one doing the talking could've been the brother of Pluto from "The Hills Have Eyes" only Pluto was prettier.
"We been lookin' for ya!" he smiled and nodded to his posse. The collective shine from their foreheads blinded me. I was gonna have to act quick to get out of this one.
"Hey, dumming, how you doing?" I asked, trying to be friendly and checking out my options. The parking lot we were in didn't offer much.
"We got some unfinished bizness wit you, Stumpy." he said and it looked like he was beefing himself up, ready to squash me. I had to think fast.
"Well, you know, I was just.....hey, look, an airplane!" I pointed behind the Zidane Glee club.
They never flinched.
"We gonna pound ya into the pavement, funny-man."
I started to sweat. They may have thought a naval academy was a school for belly-dancers but I wasn't gonna trick them with a grade-school prank. I slowly started to back away from them. Maybe getting them all between the cars would give me a few minutes to escape if I could just think of something. A Sinead O'Connor freak in the back suddenly shouted, "Oops!...I did it again" and farted. It didn't stop them from moving closer to me.
"Not until you answer a question. Do helicoptors land on that head of yours?" I blurted. Another step and they were all between the two cars of the aisle, about 5 feet wide. I felt like a Spartan.
"Only helicopter you gonna see is the one taking you to hospital." Pluto spit out at me, the veins on his cheeks started to inflate.
"No need to get hostile. Maybe we can....look, K-Fed!" I shouted and again pointed behind them. This time they looked.
I bolted out from between the cars and ran, zig-zagging between aisles until I cut behind a box truck. Catching my breath I peeked around the side. They were running like a herd of Buffalo, spreading out among the cars and moving in my direction. Now to make good on my lead.
"Is it safe?"
I quickly turned and came face-to-face with the good doctor from the dungeon. I must have had a deer in the headlights look because he slowly smiled and stepped towards me. He had the blue syringe in his left hand and an ace bandage around his head. I kept one eye on the 'BSG' who were getting closer.
"Is it safe?"
"Oh hey, we meet again! Long time, no want to see! You know, you really must stop getting your medications from the guy who lives under the freeway overpass." I said and took a step back.
"Is it safe?" he replied and took another step. The 'BSG' were closer and I suddenly had a plan.
"Aren't you getting tired of that taste of shoe leather in your mouth?" I said and took another step back, this time from the cover of the truck. Pluto saw me and yelled "There he is!" and the whole group started to run towards me. One tripped and knocked himself out on the bumper of a parked Land Rover.
"Is it safe?"
"I love what you've done with your hair. How did you get it to come out of one nostril like that?" I again took another step backwards as the 'BSG' closed the gap. Another 20 feet....
"Is it safe?"
It was time.
"I would love to stay and trade insults, but I would need to find a worthy opponent." I said to the doctor and then turned to the onrushing group of Mobys. "Hey, boys! Sorry, I can't stay!" and I bolted.
The doctor tried to lunge for me. Tried, because as he did, he tripped as expected and fell in front of the crome-domes just as they were about to grab me. They all fell in a pile onto the pavement, the doctor underneath. Someone yelled "owww!" followed by "Mommy...." I could only guess it was the syringe.
Laughing I raced through the parking lot and towards the festival.