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- #261
Njaco
The Pop-Tart Whisperer
I trotted down one isle and crossed over to another, trying to put distance and cars between me and the bald-headed farts. A quick look behind me and I could see that the seven dwarves had now joined in the chase along with 2 cab drivers. I ducked down next to an Opel and moved towards a line of plastic outhouses (Johnnie-On-The-Spot!) along the edge of the parking lot. Maybe I could hide in one of these for a few minutes while my pursuers played Moron Tag. As I moved down the row of port-a-potties, I couldn't find one door that was open. Just my luck but I had already relieved myself. As I neared the end of the line, a door suddenly burst open and out stepped the occupant, followed by a stink that immediately curled my nostril hairs.
It was Room Service Mamu, the back of her neck looking like a package of sausages and a face like a burst haggis.
She saw me and squealed.
"Hi Honey! What you doing? We never did finish, now did we, sugar."
Looking at her in the daylight, I wanted to gouge my eyes out. Even her shadow weighed 50 pounds! She had more rolls than a bakery and it must have taken her two trips to haul ass. The smell that overwhelmed me, I can only describe as someone set a German Shepherd on fire then pissed on it to put the fire out. It was an excellent time to become a missing person.
"Converse with any whales lately?' I blurted out and started running again.
The ground shook as she took her first steps after me and I could see that the other group of knuckleheads had seen me and the Half-track and started in our direction. It was getting hairy around here and I had to find a way out. I ran towards the festival stadium, gulping in large gasps of foul air. The festival was inside a large stadium and I didn't have a ticket to get in. I ran up onto the concourse, pushing people out of the way but not as many as Roseanne behind me who barrelled herself across the concrete and the crowds. It was like Moses and the Red Sea. The Mickey Mouse Club was right behind her - the 'BSG', the security guards and the doctor. But as they ran, others in the crowd started to join in the rampage. It was Black Friday at Wal-Mart as more and more people started running with the mobile riot. A couple of Police officers that were standing at a few gates started to take swings at the mob as they ran past. Several went down with bloody shins. Then I saw the bloody rugby team from the airplane, appear from behind a beer cart and join in the mad rush, tossing and shoving people like they were in a game. Where the 'ell did they come from? They still had the blonde passenger and her kid tumbling among them.
I was running out of options and out of concourse. I tried throwing a vendor selling deep-fried Snausages into their path but they kept on coming. I tripped a group of Girl Scouts selling cookies but that didn't phase them. On they came like greyhounds after a rabbit. I finally noticed an opening in the side of the stadium, a doorless hole that led to a tunnel, just below a large "W". Reaching the doorway, I darted in and tripped, falling against the wall in a heap. Sitting on my butt, I slowly scooted away from the tunnel entrance.
My Luck, I thought, was running out.
It was Room Service Mamu, the back of her neck looking like a package of sausages and a face like a burst haggis.
She saw me and squealed.
"Hi Honey! What you doing? We never did finish, now did we, sugar."
Looking at her in the daylight, I wanted to gouge my eyes out. Even her shadow weighed 50 pounds! She had more rolls than a bakery and it must have taken her two trips to haul ass. The smell that overwhelmed me, I can only describe as someone set a German Shepherd on fire then pissed on it to put the fire out. It was an excellent time to become a missing person.
"Converse with any whales lately?' I blurted out and started running again.
The ground shook as she took her first steps after me and I could see that the other group of knuckleheads had seen me and the Half-track and started in our direction. It was getting hairy around here and I had to find a way out. I ran towards the festival stadium, gulping in large gasps of foul air. The festival was inside a large stadium and I didn't have a ticket to get in. I ran up onto the concourse, pushing people out of the way but not as many as Roseanne behind me who barrelled herself across the concrete and the crowds. It was like Moses and the Red Sea. The Mickey Mouse Club was right behind her - the 'BSG', the security guards and the doctor. But as they ran, others in the crowd started to join in the rampage. It was Black Friday at Wal-Mart as more and more people started running with the mobile riot. A couple of Police officers that were standing at a few gates started to take swings at the mob as they ran past. Several went down with bloody shins. Then I saw the bloody rugby team from the airplane, appear from behind a beer cart and join in the mad rush, tossing and shoving people like they were in a game. Where the 'ell did they come from? They still had the blonde passenger and her kid tumbling among them.
I was running out of options and out of concourse. I tried throwing a vendor selling deep-fried Snausages into their path but they kept on coming. I tripped a group of Girl Scouts selling cookies but that didn't phase them. On they came like greyhounds after a rabbit. I finally noticed an opening in the side of the stadium, a doorless hole that led to a tunnel, just below a large "W". Reaching the doorway, I darted in and tripped, falling against the wall in a heap. Sitting on my butt, I slowly scooted away from the tunnel entrance.
My Luck, I thought, was running out.
