If I had been the waiter, it would have gone something like this :-
Me: "Did sir go to school?"
Customer: "Of course I did".
Me: "Then presumably, sir can read?"
Customer: "Yes !"
Me:
"Then what the **** does it say on the menu?!!".
That would be from someone who has never seen or heard of "pickled vegetables" (I hadn't until I was in my late 20s - that was also when I saw my first pickled egg) and who was wondering if you meant "vegetables with pickles in them" or "vegetables that had been prepared like cucumbers are to make pickles".
Just had a meeting the other day about dishes. When anyone clears a table they are supposed to put the dishes in piles according to shape by the dish pit so the dishwashers can take care of them. Well some of the servers were putting the wrong shapes in the wrong pile. My GM starts off the meeting by saying, "Servers I know a lot of you have kids in preschool and you need to f****** join them because I don't think you passed." It was a very long meeting going over shapes and why circles and squares aren't the same thing. The bussers got free food though.