Quotes and Jokes 1 (18 Viewers)

[ThomasP]

 

[special ed]

Delusions are often functional.

A mother's opinions about her children's beauty, intelligence, goodness, et cetera ad nauseam, keep her from drowning them at birth.

Gallager in his comedy act said, " God made kids cute so you wouldn't kill 'em."

 

[Airframes]

 

[special ed]

The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

 

[special ed]

Maybe time for another:

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan Island,
but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

 

[Snautzer01]

Maybe time for another:

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan Island,
but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

Djeez dad.... )

 

[Snautzer01]

 

[Snautzer01]

 

[Gnomey]

 

[MIflyer]

I had no idea....

But note how the sign is attached to the pole.

 

[MiTasol]

Well at least she named it correctly instead of calling it duct tape like most people do.

The original duck tape came in army green and was called duck tape because it was created using a layer of cotton duck, a plain woven cotton fabric, almost a canvas, and an adhesive.

 

[Greg Boeser]

I had no idea....

But note how the sign is attached to the pole.

View attachment 819700

Probably Gorilla Tape.

 

[rednev]

Offered with out comment

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVBV7e0ksXg

 

[MiTasol]

I used to have a copy of that album and loved the time check and weather forecast.

 

[WARSPITER]

What do you call bears without ears ?

B.

 

[MiTasol]

 

[Buzz Rickson]

This one might already be lurking in the depths of this thread but here's goes anyway.

A young USAF F-4 pilot landed with his gear up by accident. Needless to say, the pilot was subject to an accident investigation board by senior officers. The chief of the board, a Colonel, questioned the pilot. "Captain, at what point did you realize that you had landed with your landing gear retracted?"

"Well Sir, it came to me right around the time it took me full power to taxi into the ramp."

 

[Snautzer01]

op

 

[MIflyer]

The original duck tape came in army green and was called duck tape because it was created using a layer of cotton duck, a plain woven cotton fabric, almost a canvas, and an adhesive.

Yes, in in fact some years ago a study showed that DUCT tape was good for many things.
But sealing air conditioning ducts was not one of them.

 

[special ed]

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class,
because it was a weapon of math disruption.