Quotes and Jokes 1 (31 Viewers)

[special ed]

Hey! Did we go to the same high school?

 

[Greg Boeser]

Don't make me start in with the guy with no arms and legs jokes!

 

[special ed]

OK. I said I'll quit. Well, for today.

 

[Greg Boeser]

 

[SaparotRob]

=D>

 

[at6]

Like the kid born with no legs. They named him Neal.

 

[at6]

There was a girl with one leg. She was named Eileen.

 

[WARSPITER]

The man with a shovel in his head called Doug ?

 

[WARSPITER]

The man without a shovel in he is head called Dougless ?

 

[special ed]

The deafmute who fell down a well and broke three fingers calling for help. It IS the next day here.

 

[WARSPITER]

The man who lives in a pile of leaves - Russell.

 

[MiTasol]

Swatting a tarantula with a shirt? That'll just make the tarantula angry.

Yeah - much better to sneak up on it and spray it with Krylon quick dry clear, drop it in clear resin and then mount it in a door knob or whatever

 

[MiTasol]

I heard about that. That means that schools are staffed by over paid baby sitters. Next it will be California. Hell, the kids here are already dumb enough.

Nah -- Next thing Oregon students will qualify as Florida residents. Ca residents have double the maximum IQ allowed there.

 

[MiTasol]

Maybe I've missed the humor here, but I can find a flaw in his logic....that little shithead is mistaken. If Mr. Bezos gave each of the 7.8 billion people on this earth ONE DOLLAR, he would still have his $177.5 billion left. Gee, what a nice gift. Perhaps Mr. Logician is yet another product of the public education system in the U.S.A.

Now, if Mr. Bezos gave each of the 7.8 billion people on this earth $10, totaling $78 billion, he'd still have $107.3 billion left over. Again, gee, what a nice gift.

Now in order for Mr. Bezos to still have some walking money on hand, and to still have some loot for another spaceship ride, let's say $10 billion, he can give each of the 7.8 billion folks on earth $22.47 each. Man, what a great Christmas they're going to have.

If you're going to tax (eat) the rich, at least have your numbers right.

And the government will waste it on more pay for bankers and politicians and other oxygen stealers.

Bezos at least funds hospitals, schools and universities and other things the voters need.

 

[MiTasol]

And anti-Semitic. See...it just gets worse and worse. VB should really banish himself to the naughty corner.

And drink lots of himself until he feels better

 

[MiTasol]

Badly-dressed, faintly ridiculous bellhops!

With medals for getting out of bed, standing up, saluting and other less onerous tasks

 

[MIflyer]

Back in the 1980's I was traveling to the Wash DC area, had been there once before, and only knew of one motel that I knew I could find near Dulles airport. So I called diectory service and asked for the phone number of the hotel, in Tyson's Corner.

The operator said she could not find the number. I replied that maybe it was not in Tyson's Corner but someplace nearby.

She sounded rather cross when she replied, "Oh, it's in Tyson's Corner! I drive by it on the way to work every day! But I can't find the phone number!"

You know you're in trouble when the operator can't find the phone number of an establishment she drives by every day. But that was the norm in the DC area. It would take three or four calls to Directory Assistance to find someone who knew how to look up a phone number.

 

[Lucky13]

 

[Wurger]

 

[special ed]

It IS a California license tag.