Quotes and Jokes (6 Viewers)
- Thread starter Marcel
- Start date
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flypaper2222
Senior Airman
Greg Boeser
1st Lieutenant
They only blur out faces.
MIflyer
Captain
Based on my experience, I'm guessing some irate lady's freshly waxed kitchen floor.
Reminds me of this old one:
A police officer arrives to a crime scene
Hello, captain. What's the situation?
A woman killed her husband. 12 stabs, 2 gunshot wounds, half burnt, and thrown down the stairs.
Oh my god, what was the reason?
She told us the husband intentionally started walking on the floor which she recently cleaned.
Did you arrest her?
No. We're waiting for the floor to dry.
A police officer arrives to a crime scene
Hello, captain. What's the situation?
A woman killed her husband. 12 stabs, 2 gunshot wounds, half burnt, and thrown down the stairs.
Oh my god, what was the reason?
She told us the husband intentionally started walking on the floor which she recently cleaned.
Did you arrest her?
No. We're waiting for the floor to dry.
The first one I had was by a female doctor at Bitburg AB in West Germany. After she was done, I told her, "That's Eiben Strasse THE OTHER WAY!"
MiTasol
Captain
Two Crocodiles were sitting at the side of the River.
The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, "I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age, we were the same size as kids - I just don't get it."
Well,' said the big Croc, 'what have you been eating?'
'Politicians, same as you,' replied the small Croc.
'Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?'
On the other side of the river near the Parliament car park in Canberra.
'Same here. Hmm.....How do you catch them?' asked the big Croc.
'Well, I crawl up under one of their big Lexus, BMW or Mercedes cars and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the shit out of them and eat 'em!'
'Ah!' says the big Crocodile, 'I think I see your problem. You're not getting any real nourishment. See, by the time you finish shaking the shit out of a Politician, there's nothing much left but an arsehole with a briefcase.
The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, "I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age, we were the same size as kids - I just don't get it."
Well,' said the big Croc, 'what have you been eating?'
'Politicians, same as you,' replied the small Croc.
'Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?'
On the other side of the river near the Parliament car park in Canberra.
'Same here. Hmm.....How do you catch them?' asked the big Croc.
'Well, I crawl up under one of their big Lexus, BMW or Mercedes cars and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the shit out of them and eat 'em!'
'Ah!' says the big Crocodile, 'I think I see your problem. You're not getting any real nourishment. See, by the time you finish shaking the shit out of a Politician, there's nothing much left but an arsehole with a briefcase.
syscom3
Pacific Historian
A pro tip for Christmas.
