Quotes and Jokes (11 Viewers)
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MiTasol
Major
God Said, "Adam, I Want you to do something for me."
Adam said, "Gladly, Lord, what do You want me to do?"
God said, "Go down into that valley."
Adam said, "What's a valley?"
God explained it to him.
Then God said, "Cross the river."
Adam said, "What's a river?"
God explained that to him, and then said, "Go over to the hill......."
Adam said, "What is a hill?"
So, God explained to Adam what a hill was.
He told Adam, "On the other side of the hill you will find a cave"
Adam said, "What's a cave?"
After God explained, he said, "In the cave you will find a Woman."
Adam said, "What's a woman?"
So God explained that to him,too.
Then, God said, "I want you to reproduce."
Adam said, "How do I do that?"
God first said (under h is breath), "Geez....."!
And then, just like everything else, God explained that to Adam, as well.
So, Adam goes down into the valley, across the river, and over the hill, into the cave, and finds the woman.
Then, in about five minutes, he was back.
God, his patience wearing thin, said angrily, "What is it now?"
And Adam said "What's a headache?"
Adam said, "Gladly, Lord, what do You want me to do?"
God said, "Go down into that valley."
Adam said, "What's a valley?"
God explained it to him.
Then God said, "Cross the river."
Adam said, "What's a river?"
God explained that to him, and then said, "Go over to the hill......."
Adam said, "What is a hill?"
So, God explained to Adam what a hill was.
He told Adam, "On the other side of the hill you will find a cave"
Adam said, "What's a cave?"
After God explained, he said, "In the cave you will find a Woman."
Adam said, "What's a woman?"
So God explained that to him,too.
Then, God said, "I want you to reproduce."
Adam said, "How do I do that?"
God first said (under h is breath), "Geez....."!
And then, just like everything else, God explained that to Adam, as well.
So, Adam goes down into the valley, across the river, and over the hill, into the cave, and finds the woman.
Then, in about five minutes, he was back.
God, his patience wearing thin, said angrily, "What is it now?"
And Adam said "What's a headache?"
special ed
1st Lieutenant
- 7,070
- May 13, 2018
Decades back when i was single, a young lady visited my apartment, and as they are known to do, she began looking at/into things. She opened the refrigerator and asked, "Why do you keep a tennis ball in the refrigerator?"
"That's not a tennis ball, It's an orange."
ARTESH
Chief Master Sergeant
An anti-Semitic manager of a chain of stores consults his staff file and discovers a salesman named Salomon Goldstein. He decides to fire him and goes to his work site. He sees Salomon discussing with a client about a fishing rod sale. The boss decides to let him close the sale before firing him and listens to the conversation.
- Salomon: now that you have the fishing equipment, how do you plan to fish ?
- The client: I don't know.
- Salomon : we have an excellent range of boats.
Is therefore concluded the purchase of a high-end dinghy with efficient engine.
- Salomon: how do you plan to transport the boat ?
- The client : I don't know.
Is therefore concluded the purchase of a trailer.
- Salomon: how do you plan to tow the trailer ?
- The client : I don't know.
Is therefore concluded the purchase of a high-end pickup with all options.
Impressed, the boss gives up on his project and even announces a significant increase despite his prejudices. However, out of curiosity, he asks him how he did it when the client only came to start with a simple fishing rod.
Salomon replies to him : 'it wasn't for a fishing rod : at first he came to buy feminine protections. So I told him; the weekend is ruined, go fishing instead.
- Salomon: now that you have the fishing equipment, how do you plan to fish ?
- The client: I don't know.
- Salomon : we have an excellent range of boats.
Is therefore concluded the purchase of a high-end dinghy with efficient engine.
- Salomon: how do you plan to transport the boat ?
- The client : I don't know.
Is therefore concluded the purchase of a trailer.
- Salomon: how do you plan to tow the trailer ?
- The client : I don't know.
Is therefore concluded the purchase of a high-end pickup with all options.
Impressed, the boss gives up on his project and even announces a significant increase despite his prejudices. However, out of curiosity, he asks him how he did it when the client only came to start with a simple fishing rod.
Salomon replies to him : 'it wasn't for a fishing rod : at first he came to buy feminine protections. So I told him; the weekend is ruined, go fishing instead.
A4K
Brigadier General
I've heard that before, but it's a good one!
mikewint
Captain
Not even sure on how to comment.....
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