Quotes and Jokes (6 Viewers)

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The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have begun asking humans to prove they aren't a robot

Being popular on Facebook is like sitting at the 'cool table' in the cafeteria of a mental hospital.

When a kid says "Daddy, I want mommy" that's the kid version of "I'd like to speak to your supervisor"

Last night the internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

If Adam and Eve were Cajuns they would have eaten the snake instead of the apple and saved us all a lot of trouble.

You know you are getting old when friends with benefits means having someone who can drive at night.

Weight loss goal: To be able to clip my toenails and breathe at the same time.

Some of my friends exercise every day. Meanwhile I am watching a show I don't like because the remote fell on the floor.

For those of you that don't want Alexa or Siri listening in on your conversation, they are making a male version….it doesn't listen to anything.

Now that Covid has everyone washing their hands correctly…next week…Turn Signals.

The pessimist complains about the wind. The optimist expects it to change. The realist adjusts his sails.

Reading gives us some place to go when we have to stay where we are.

I have many hidden talents. I just wish I could remember where I hid them.

My idea of a Super Bowl is a toilet that cleans itself.

Apparently exercise helps you with decision-making. It's true. I went for a run this morning and decided I'm never going again.
 
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