Quotes and Jokes (4 Viewers)
- Thread starter v2
- Start date
Ad: This forum contains affiliate links to products on Amazon and eBay. More information in Terms and rules
special ed
2nd Lieutenant
- 5,688
- May 13, 2018
special ed
2nd Lieutenant
- 5,688
- May 13, 2018
An oldie but goodie:
Three scientists were talking one day when one of them asked if there had ever been an experiment carried out to determine the effect of blocking off an elephants rectum for an extended period of time. They discovered that it had never been tried and so they resolved to try it themselves.
They got an elephant and inserted a huge plug into it's arse and let the elephant go about it's daily business of eating 500 pounds of greenstuff a day. After a couple of days, it occurred to the scientists that someone was going to have to remove the plug from the elephants arse. None of them were prepared to do it so they got themselves a monkey and trained it to
remove the plug when it heard a particular bell sound.
Come the day of the end of the experiment when the plug was finally to be removed, they set themselves up at respectable distances from the monkey and elephant - 1 scientist was 50yards away, 1 was 500 yards away and the third was a mile away. All had recording equipment etc set up to record the event. One had a button to press to sound the bell and prompt the monkey to remove the plug from the elephant's arse. The button was pressed, the bell sounded and there was this god-almighty explosion.
The scientist at 1 mile from the elephant was splattered with shit and he raced up to the scientist 500 yards from the elephant. He too was covered in shit. They both raced up to the scientist who had set himself up 50 yards from the elephant to find him up to his neck in shit, covered in scrathes and bruises and with a couple of broken bones in his arms and legs. He was also pissing himself laughing. One of his colleagues commented on all the injuries he had sustained and asked why was he laughing so much. "The bell sounded, the monkey pulled the plug and I was injured when the blast threw me backwards way from my position.", he said.
"But why were you laughing so much?", his colleagues asked again. "You'd be laughing too if you could have seen the expression on the monkey's face as he tried to put the plug back in.
They got an elephant and inserted a huge plug into it's arse and let the elephant go about it's daily business of eating 500 pounds of greenstuff a day. After a couple of days, it occurred to the scientists that someone was going to have to remove the plug from the elephants arse. None of them were prepared to do it so they got themselves a monkey and trained it to
remove the plug when it heard a particular bell sound.
Come the day of the end of the experiment when the plug was finally to be removed, they set themselves up at respectable distances from the monkey and elephant - 1 scientist was 50yards away, 1 was 500 yards away and the third was a mile away. All had recording equipment etc set up to record the event. One had a button to press to sound the bell and prompt the monkey to remove the plug from the elephant's arse. The button was pressed, the bell sounded and there was this god-almighty explosion.
The scientist at 1 mile from the elephant was splattered with shit and he raced up to the scientist 500 yards from the elephant. He too was covered in shit. They both raced up to the scientist who had set himself up 50 yards from the elephant to find him up to his neck in shit, covered in scrathes and bruises and with a couple of broken bones in his arms and legs. He was also pissing himself laughing. One of his colleagues commented on all the injuries he had sustained and asked why was he laughing so much. "The bell sounded, the monkey pulled the plug and I was injured when the blast threw me backwards way from my position.", he said.
"But why were you laughing so much?", his colleagues asked again. "You'd be laughing too if you could have seen the expression on the monkey's face as he tried to put the plug back in.
special ed
2nd Lieutenant
- 5,688
- May 13, 2018
Forgot the Tu-95
Greg Boeser
2nd Lieutenant
No.
SaparotRob
Unter Gemeine Geschwader Murmeltier XIII
Finally.
Glider
Captain
Russian Obviously
special ed
2nd Lieutenant
- 5,688
- May 13, 2018
special ed
2nd Lieutenant
- 5,688
- May 13, 2018
special ed
2nd Lieutenant
- 5,688
- May 13, 2018
Snautzer01
Honourably banned
- 43,104
- Mar 26, 2007
Fort Kick ass 
special ed
2nd Lieutenant
- 5,688
- May 13, 2018
