Quotes and Jokes (2 Viewers)
- Thread starter v2
- Start date
Ad: This forum contains affiliate links to products on Amazon and eBay. More information in Terms and rules
Looks like it was an intentional touch and go. I had this happen with a student once. Things started to go wrong with a bit of drift off centre-line and he got fixated on the instruments, going through the motions of a normal t&g but couldn't recognise that it was beyond a normal exercise.
Luckily I managed to regain control and stop on the runway.
special ed
2nd Lieutenant
- 5,472
- May 13, 2018
special ed
2nd Lieutenant
- 5,472
- May 13, 2018
special ed
2nd Lieutenant
- 5,472
- May 13, 2018
special ed
2nd Lieutenant
- 5,472
- May 13, 2018
special ed
2nd Lieutenant
- 5,472
- May 13, 2018
Greg Boeser
1st Sergeant
buffnut453
Captain
An Englishman, Scot, and an Irishman all work on a building site. Lunchtime comes around and they all open their food.
The Scot says "Corned beef again! I can't STAND corned beef! Bloody sick of it!!"
The Englishman opens up his lunch box and says, "CHEESE! Bloody cheese! I can't stand cheese!."
Irishman opens up his box and looks at his sandwiches. "For the love of Mike! Well, I'm the same boys. I have egg and can't stand eggs!."
At lunch the next day, the three meet to compare their meals. The Scot opens up his lunch box and cries out, "CORNED BEEF...AGAIN!!! I can't take it. If I get corned beef again tomorrow I'm jumping off this scaffolding!"
The Englishman opens up his lunch box and screams out, "ARRGHHHH...CHEESE! Right! I'm with you Jimmy! If I get cheese again tomorrow I'll jump with you!"
So the Irishman opens up his lunch box, "EGG!" He screams, "Right boyz, I'm with you. Tomorrow I'll jump if I see egg on these sandwiches!"
The next day comes around and, sure enough, the Scot finds corned beef on his sandwiches. "That's it! I've had it" and "ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" he jumps right of the scaffolding to his death.
The Englishman opens up his lunch, "Yep...CHEESE! On my way Jimmy!!!!!!!!" and he lands with a resounding splat next to the Scot.
The Irishman's up next and, sure enough, EGG! Off he goes to join his pals in death.
Their workmates decide a common funeral would be fitting for such close mates. The three wives sit together, and the Scottish widow is in tears, "Oh why did he not just tell me he didn't like corned beef! I thought he loved it."
The English widow is also sobbing her heart out, "I know! If only he told me he didn't like cheese!"
The two tearful widows stare at the Irish widow who's entirely composed, neither blubbing nor whimpering one jot! The two tearful widows glare coldly at their Irish counterpart who looks back and says, "Well don't look at me. He made his own sandwiches!"
The Scot says "Corned beef again! I can't STAND corned beef! Bloody sick of it!!"
The Englishman opens up his lunch box and says, "CHEESE! Bloody cheese! I can't stand cheese!."
Irishman opens up his box and looks at his sandwiches. "For the love of Mike! Well, I'm the same boys. I have egg and can't stand eggs!."
At lunch the next day, the three meet to compare their meals. The Scot opens up his lunch box and cries out, "CORNED BEEF...AGAIN!!! I can't take it. If I get corned beef again tomorrow I'm jumping off this scaffolding!"
The Englishman opens up his lunch box and screams out, "ARRGHHHH...CHEESE! Right! I'm with you Jimmy! If I get cheese again tomorrow I'll jump with you!"
So the Irishman opens up his lunch box, "EGG!" He screams, "Right boyz, I'm with you. Tomorrow I'll jump if I see egg on these sandwiches!"
The next day comes around and, sure enough, the Scot finds corned beef on his sandwiches. "That's it! I've had it" and "ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" he jumps right of the scaffolding to his death.
The Englishman opens up his lunch, "Yep...CHEESE! On my way Jimmy!!!!!!!!" and he lands with a resounding splat next to the Scot.
The Irishman's up next and, sure enough, EGG! Off he goes to join his pals in death.
Their workmates decide a common funeral would be fitting for such close mates. The three wives sit together, and the Scottish widow is in tears, "Oh why did he not just tell me he didn't like corned beef! I thought he loved it."
The English widow is also sobbing her heart out, "I know! If only he told me he didn't like cheese!"
The two tearful widows stare at the Irish widow who's entirely composed, neither blubbing nor whimpering one jot! The two tearful widows glare coldly at their Irish counterpart who looks back and says, "Well don't look at me. He made his own sandwiches!"
Last edited:
MiTasol
1st Lieutenant
Lawyers should never ask a Georgia grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realise you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defence attorney?'
She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy and bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'
The defence attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counsellors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,
'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realise you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defence attorney?'
She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy and bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'
The defence attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counsellors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,
'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.
Snautzer01
Honourably banned
- 41,891
- Mar 26, 2007
Snautzer01
Honourably banned
- 41,891
- Mar 26, 2007
