Quotes and Jokes (1 Viewer)
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Snautzer01
Honourably banned
- 39,528
- Mar 26, 2007
That is so very true. I am no grease monkey but when i work on my cars this is exactly what happens.
Ohhh. Noo no no no.
No no.
i add a pollen allergie.
So just when you change the oil filter, snot starts running, ignore that, although now with tearey eyes diving deep into to abbys of the engine bay just getting your 10 mm on the ff-ing nut you have to sneeze. In my case violently.
Soooo... take a deep breath standing up punching a whole in your skull in the bonnet/hood while screaming words a viking would have said .. now now... temper temper.
Then realize the cloth you wiped your nose with is the Exxon Valdiz in cloth. Oil everywhere and a bit of blood. Brain matter splashing.
It is a wonder i never killed anyone near my car maintenance.
Must be because i cant see them because of snot, oil and my glasses fell in the engine bay with the first sneeze.
Yes... the joys of D.I.Y maintenance.
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special ed
1st Sergeant
- 5,039
- May 13, 2018
An actual occurance from very long ago - I worked on microfilm machines and the units used in banks also often had an endorser which used liquid red ink. The endorser imprinted the checks as they went through and was messy. The ink was almost permanent for security and was a difficult clean up in annual maintenance inspections. About two days after a particularly bad cleaning service call, my wife confronted me with, "Why is their lipstick on your underwear?"
MIflyer
1st Lieutenant
Is that barbed insult?
MIflyer
1st Lieutenant
Actually one Saturday night a girlfriend and I tried something just a little different. To her it was wildly, incredibly successful. And I learned two things applicable to future such adventures:
1. Position a clock so you can see it; the Guinness Book will no doubt want precise times.
2. Bring something to read.
1. Position a clock so you can see it; the Guinness Book will no doubt want precise times.
2. Bring something to read.
MIflyer
1st Lieutenant
Why don't they make beds for kids that have lights and TV cameras built in under the bed?
MIflyer
1st Lieutenant
Law of Flight Test:
After you get the airplane back together and are climbing through 1000 ft, THEN you will find out you have to pee.
This need often goes away when all three wheels are firmly planted on the ground again. But Never Fear! After you push the throttle back in it will return!
After you get the airplane back together and are climbing through 1000 ft, THEN you will find out you have to pee.
This need often goes away when all three wheels are firmly planted on the ground again. But Never Fear! After you push the throttle back in it will return!
Greg Boeser
1st Sergeant
Boogie monster work rules.
MIflyer
1st Lieutenant
I have heard that the blue ink used to make laundry marks sometimes is employed by people to render their paperwork trash indeciperable as well as mark people who may be digging through it.
Snautzer01
Honourably banned
- 39,528
- Mar 26, 2007
Dont think that works with modern day printed stuff. The black is very strong. Under f.i. black light it will be readable.
Snautzer01
Honourably banned
- 39,528
- Mar 26, 2007
You owe me a beer Wurger. Saved the phone spilled the beer.
To your good health.
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This one reminds me of this:
This Is How Much Money Has Been Spent Saving Matt Damon - E! Online
From Martian to Saving Private Ryan, we've dropped a lot of change bringing that dude home
www.eonline.com
