Quotes and Jokes
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don4331
Senior Airman
SaparotRob
Unter Gemeine Geschwader Murmeltier XIII
Agree.
MIflyer
1st Lieutenant
Pilots and Control Towers 1
Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!"
Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"
A Cessna inbound at the reporting point over ManlyBeach.
Tower (Female voice): "Cessna WYXD, congestion at airport approach. I'm going to have to hold you over the Manly area."
Cessna WYXD: "I love it when you talk dirty to me."
Tower: "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees."
TWA 2341: "Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up
here?"
Tower:"Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"
From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: "I'm
f...ing bored!"
Ground Traffic Control:"Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself
immediately!"Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing
stupid!"
Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!"
Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"
A Cessna inbound at the reporting point over ManlyBeach.
Tower (Female voice): "Cessna WYXD, congestion at airport approach. I'm going to have to hold you over the Manly area."
Cessna WYXD: "I love it when you talk dirty to me."
Tower: "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees."
TWA 2341: "Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up
here?"
Tower:"Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"
From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: "I'm
f...ing bored!"
Ground Traffic Control:"Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself
immediately!"Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing
stupid!"
Snautzer01
Honourably banned
- 43,230
- Mar 26, 2007
I am a good teacher.
Snautzer01
Honourably banned
- 43,230
- Mar 26, 2007
Snautzer01
Honourably banned
- 43,230
- Mar 26, 2007
Greg Boeser
2nd Lieutenant
Was the perp named Goliath?
MIflyer
1st Lieutenant
When I first saw that item a few years ago I said I hoped that someone bought Owen a .22 for Christmas. If not, I will.
MIflyer
1st Lieutenant
Pilots and Control Towers 2
O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: "United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, Eastbound."
United 329:"Approach, I've always wanted to say this... I've got the little Fokker in sight."
A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known
position?"
Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."
A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down.
San Jose Tower Noted: "American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able.. If you are not able, take the Guadalupe exit
off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport."
(Note: The village of Guadalupe is on Pacific Coast Highway 1 about 180 miles south of San Jose, and several miles west of 101, so that would have a hellava overshoot.)
A Pan Am 727 flight, waiting for start clearance in Munich , overheard the following:
Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"
Ground (in English):"If you want an answer you must speak in English"
Lufthansa (in English):"I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?"
Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent):"Because you lost the bloody war!"
Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency124.7"
Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way,after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the
runway."
Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?"
Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern. We've already notified our caterers."
O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: "United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, Eastbound."
United 329:"Approach, I've always wanted to say this... I've got the little Fokker in sight."
A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known
position?"
Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."
A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down.
San Jose Tower Noted: "American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able.. If you are not able, take the Guadalupe exit
off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport."
(Note: The village of Guadalupe is on Pacific Coast Highway 1 about 180 miles south of San Jose, and several miles west of 101, so that would have a hellava overshoot.)
A Pan Am 727 flight, waiting for start clearance in Munich , overheard the following:
Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"
Ground (in English):"If you want an answer you must speak in English"
Lufthansa (in English):"I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?"
Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent):"Because you lost the bloody war!"
Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency124.7"
Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way,after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the
runway."
Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?"
Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern. We've already notified our caterers."
