Quotes and Jokes (1 Viewer)

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MIflyer said:
I assume y'all have seen these.

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I still have one in the box. It was to go in my shop, finished just before hurricane Katrina. The fan stayed safe in the box, made the move, and remains in the box. This house has a chandelier style light in the dining room, now used a computer/craft room. My wife suggested we should replace the chandelier with a ceiling fan. I pointed out we still had my shop fan. It is still in the box.
 
Jonathan Winters used to get in elevators and after it started to move say to his wife or whomever he was with, "Hear that? That's a very distinctive sound! Strands in the elevator cables breaking! I noticed that the inspection certificate was out of date!" Then he would get off at his floor, turn to look at the people in the elevator, and shake his head sadly.

A guy I worked with said a friend of his took a starter motor and mounted it under the hood of his car, a short length of chain attached to the drive and a bucket over the top of it. Then he would find someone siting in their car in a parking lot, feign having trouble pulling into the park next to them, then jam on his brakes and hit the button for the added starter, "Balalalama!' The person would leap out of his car and be mystified at the lack of damage from an accident he had heard so clearly.
 
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