OK..guys. I'll apoligize UPFRONT for this...
ok..SO, I enjoy puns. ESPECIALLY the ones that make you grab your head..and pray for death..usually for the person that shared it..
SO..if you have gotten this far, and CHOOSE to go on..PLEASE don't throw things.
- A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were
standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament
victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the
office and asked them to disperse. "But WHY?" they asked,as
they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-
nuts boasting in an open foyer."
and if THAT wasn't enough..
- A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption.
One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal."
The other goes to a family in Spain;they name him "Juan."
Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth
mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband
that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband
responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen
Ahmal."
Yes, I promise..I am hurting TOO. BUT,I'd NEVER seen this one..AND I think developed a nervous twitch from reading it..its GOOD.
- These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so
they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since
everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival
florist across town thought the competition was unfair.
He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not.
He went back and begged the friars to close.
They ignored him.
So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest
and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close.
Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd
be back if they didn't close up shop.
Terrified, they did so.
Thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
OK..I swear..only one more..enjoy!
- Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the
time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his
feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail
and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him (wait for IT!)..... A
super, calloused, fragile, mystic, hexed-by halitosis.
*DUCKS*