Quotes and Jokes (4 Viewers)

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Way back in 1972 I went to a friend who had a loan company so I could buy a car. Someone with the same name, including middle initial, had just moved to the state. When my friend ran my credit check, he asked why I didn't mention these accounts in Pittsburg. I told him I had never been to Pennsylvania in my life, and it must be the new guy who just moved here.
Herb said, "Don't correct it. He has much better credit than you."
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A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife as she gazed at herself in the mirror.
With her birthday approaching, he asked what she'd like as a gift.
"I'd like to be eight again," she replied, still staring at the mirror.
On the morning of her birthday, he woke up early, prepared a big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Adventure World theme park.
What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything available.
Five hours later, they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was spinning, and her stomach was upside down.
Next, he took her to McDonald's, where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.
Then it was off to the movie theater for the latest superhero saga, complete with popcorn, soda, and her favorite candy, M&Ms.
What a fabulous adventure!
Finally, she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed, utterly exhausted.
He leaned over her with a big smile and lovingly asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being eight again?"
Her eyes slowly opened, and her expression suddenly changed.
"I meant my dress size, you idiot!!!"
The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he's going to get it wrong.
 
A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife as she gazed at herself in the mirror.
With her birthday approaching, he asked what she'd like as a gift.
"I'd like to be eight again," she replied, still staring at the mirror.
On the morning of her birthday, he woke up early, prepared a big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Adventure World theme park.
What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything available.
Five hours later, they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was spinning, and her stomach was upside down.
Next, he took her to McDonald's, where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.
Then it was off to the movie theater for the latest superhero saga, complete with popcorn, soda, and her favorite candy, M&Ms.
What a fabulous adventure!
Finally, she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed, utterly exhausted.
He leaned over her with a big smile and lovingly asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being eight again?"
Her eyes slowly opened, and her expression suddenly changed.
"I meant my dress size, you idiot!!!"
The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he's going to get it wrong.
Speak, oh Wise One.
 

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