You have me laffing out loud, and my wife is in bed trying to sleep.......
My food poops on their food too!
I make poached eggs for myself, or maybe french toast... I would say I do eat breakky!
I cook everything, the first time she made me dinner (almost 20 years ago) we had gravy that had to be scooped and potatoes that you could pour!
TPBM can't boil water