Were you ever in the Armed Forces

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My mum always told me to say this if I meet a German girl and want to ask her out, but nobody seems to call me back when I try it, is there something wrong with what I'm saying?

Ich habe eine sehr unartige Nudel und einen Elch auf meinem Kopf.
 
lesofprimus said:
Adler, can u translate this for me please?????????

Ich steche Dir die Augen raus und pisse dir ins Gehirn, du kleines schwules Arschloch...
Click to expand...

I will poke out your eyes and piss in your brain, you small gay asshole...

Ich habe eine sehr unartige Nudel und einen Elch auf meinem Kopf.
Click to expand...

I have a very naughty noodle (not to be taken litterally as a noodle) and a Elk on my head.
 

Some how that phrase from Les is not suprising, diplomatic as always

I love the second one very usefull I have have often needed to too tell a German doctor that I suffer from Elk head
 
This is one which is useful in all situations, I find. To be used when talking to an attractive woman.

It means "we look really good together, would parent lots of beautiful children and grow old in happiness together."
Sort of.

Wow, Sie sind schön. Großmutter muss wirklich erotisch sein. Ist sie lebendig? Mein Großpapa will ihr eine große Wurst geben, bevor sie geht.
 

Vanir I dont know where you get your translating from but you do not need to speak another word of German in you life especially to a German woman. If you say things like that to a woman, then I will understand why you have never been laid in your life. Your translation of the phrase is completly wrong. This is what it really means:

Wow you are very pretty. Your Grandmother must be really Erotic. Is she still alive? My Grandfather would love to give her a large sausage before she goes.
 
Adler, how would you say; "If you don't shut the fuck up, I'll stick my dick in your ear and fuck some sense into you!" in German?
 
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