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lol...nope. And did you notice the earplug idiot was in Ferguson when he discovered the "rubber bullets"?Dave, did my own research and either one of the first two "bullets" can be shot from that assault rifle.
The pill that cures stupidity
Probably too late to be of any help to me, a German scientist has invented the world's first anti-stupidity pill.
So far, the pill has been tested only on mice and fruit flies, which seems odd to me considering how many stupid politicians, professional athletes and movie stars there are running around loose. I mean, how smart do fruit flies need to be? They see fruit, they land on it, they eat it, and then, most likely, they poop on it. You do not need a Ph.D. from Harvard to lead a successful life as a fruit fly.
Same goes with mice. A mouse's life essentially revolves around eating, avoiding being eaten and making new mice. I do not look to mice to explain string theory to me, though maybe in the future I will.
According to the German newspaper Bild, Hans-Hilger Ropers, director at the Max Planck Institute for Molecular Genetics in Berlin, has tested a pill that eliminates hyperactivity in certain brain nerve cells, thereby stabilizing short-term memory and improving attentiveness.
"With mice and fruit flies, we were able to eliminate the loss of short-term memory," the scientist said.
One can only imagine that the mice and fruit flies of the world are rejoicing at this news. What mouse has not asked itself where it put that moldy hunk of cheese only to discover, to its embarrassment, that the cheese was in its mouth the whole time? (I have a similar problem with car keys, only I usually find them in my hand rather than my mouth.)
Given enough time and grant money, Ropers and his ilk may eventually develop an anti-stupidity pill that's safe for people. (It's rumored that a person accidentally swallowed one of the prototype pills and immediately attempted to gnaw through a cereal box.) The trick then would be getting the right people to take the pills.
It's been my experience that stupid people usually consider themselves quite brainy and are not shy about rattling off their many brilliant accomplishments. (Went three whole days without catching tie in zipper of pants, only occasionally stick fork in electrical outlet, realized after only two tries that Superman Halloween costume does not enable me to fly, etc., etc.)
We could ask the government to hand them out, though this seems to me like asking the stupid to cure the stupid.
Newspapers could distribute them, though there would be problems there, too. First off, we'd have to form several advisory committees, then write an editorial asking readers to submit their opinion via a convenient clip-out form that permits no response longer than 12 words.
The opinions would then be entered into a computer system manufactured in Italy that crashes every time someone embellishes a conversation with hand gestures. Finally, recommendations would be posted on the paper's Web site, where you can access them for only $4.95, tax not included.
I think the best solution is to make anti-stupid pills available to everyone, regardless of age, sex, physical unsightliness or preference for waxed vs. unwaxed floss.
If it results in everyone, "American Idol" viewers included, having an attention span greater than that of a fruit fly, it will be worth it.
Nope...note wedding ring and nice yard.She's probably some gang banger"s girl friend.