# WWII JOKES



## B-17engineer (Feb 16, 2008)

A plane with german paratroopers above Greece.

The instructor guides every single parachutist to the door and pushes him out. 

"Come on , come on , come on !" "We dont have time to mess around !" 

"Out with you cowards!" "Come on ! The next one ! go go go!" 

But one of them resists to jump by all means. He kicks punches and screams, tries to stem his legs against the doorframe. 

"Out with you !" "We have no time for cowards !" 

At last, the instructor gives him a kick and he flies out of the door... 

The remaining parachutists start to laugh.. 

"You think that was funny or what ?" 

"Funny ? , yes indeed sir.....that was the pilot" 
Then this one....

Guy: "Father, during the war I allowed a Jewish refugee to live in my attic"
Father: "Well, I do not see anythign wrong with that. You helped a poor soul survive the war"
Guy: "But Father, I collected rent from for every week that he stayed"
Father: "Well, that is not a good deed, but it was for a good cause, so that is fine."
Guy: "... but Father.... should I tell him the war is over?"

ALSO....
The leutnant says to the feldwebel :

"That guy over there is pretty good" 

"Yes indeed, but i have a feeling that we should better check his personal background" 

"Why ?" 

"After every shot he carefully removes his fingerprints from the rifle" 


SHARE YOURS!


----------



## Wurger (Feb 16, 2008)




----------



## Njaco (Feb 16, 2008)




----------



## Konigstiger205 (Feb 17, 2008)

The one with the paratroopers was great


----------



## Wayne Little (Feb 17, 2008)

Yeah very good,


----------



## B-17engineer (Feb 17, 2008)

Thanks


----------



## orion549 (Feb 17, 2008)

Just watched Memphis Belle last night, here's a pretty good joke from that (may not be exactly as told in the movie):

A British fighter pilot got downed over German occupied airspace and was captured by the Nazis on the ground. He was beaten up pretty bad in the dogfight and parachute landing, and they had to amputate his leg, so he begged them "Please, if you have to take my leg, can you drop it over my country next time you send a bombing mission?"

The Nazis figured there was no harm in it and the leg was dropped in the next raid.

A week later, his other leg succumbed to his injuries and had to be amputated, and again, he asked his captors to drop in over England on the next raid, and again they obliged.

The next week his arm succumbed to injuries and it was amputated. Again, he asked the German guards to have it dropped over England on the next raid. The German barked at him "Nein!"

The POW was shocked, "Why not? You've done it before!"

"Because," they guard said, "We think you're trying to escape..."


----------



## wilbur1 (Feb 17, 2008)

You got it right orion. great jokes guys


----------



## model299 (Feb 18, 2008)

Hitler and Göring are standing on top of Berlin's radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to cheer up the people of Berlin. "Why don't you just jump?" suggests Göring...


----------



## Wurger (Feb 18, 2008)




----------



## syscom3 (Feb 18, 2008)

The best jokes were from Bill Mauldin.


*"Able Fox Five to Able Fox. I got a target but ya gotta be patient."*


----------



## wilbur1 (Feb 19, 2008)

I think i got lost on that one sys


----------



## Snautzer01 (Feb 19, 2008)

More Bill Mauldin. After all these years they are still funny.

Bill Mauldin


----------



## Wurger (Feb 15, 2016)

During the battle of Stalingrad an alarmed soviet soldier is barging into his commander's shelter screaming ..
Comrade Commander.... the three Nazi German tanks attacking.
Take it easy man.. said the commandant. Take the two hand grenades form the shelf there and destroy tanks. Go....
Yes Sir... shouted the private clicking his heels.
The commander was listening to the battle sounds.The firece strugglig lasted about 30 minutes.
Then the tired, dirty, panting and bleeding from a nose private got back to the dugout. His uniform was torn and his helmet was bent.The soldier's rifle lost its bayonet. The guy had a black eye and avulsed a couple of teeth.
His commandant looked at him and asked calmly ... did you annihilate these tanks?
Yes Sir .. reported back the soldier.
So.. OK. Give the two grenades back... ordered the commander.


----------



## Gnomey (Feb 15, 2016)




----------



## TheArtOfFlight (Dec 21, 2016)

My grandfather served with bomber command during ww2 and would often tell me stories and jokes.
The one i always remember was when he told me about the WAAF woman who handed out the parachutes to the airmen due to fly a mission that night. He said she found it highly amusing to tell each and every airman....."if it doesnt work, bring it back!"


----------



## vikingBerserker (Dec 21, 2016)




----------



## Wurger (Dec 21, 2016)




----------



## Old Wizard (Dec 21, 2016)




----------



## Gnomey (Dec 21, 2016)




----------



## Kai Stemm (Dec 21, 2016)

Pretty Famous one that got people killed for saying 
Hitler, Himmler, Heydrich, and Göring are in a plane and get shot down who wins... Germany wins


----------

