# Life is Tough but it's Tougher when you're Stupid



## mikewint (Mar 16, 2019)

I swear that I could not make this stuff up if I tried:

An Albuquerque woman is suing Samsung for $1.8 million after she required medical attention after inserting her cell phone inside her vagina and was unable to retrieve it for 96 hours.

Salma Briant, 39, claims her medical bills at the University of New Mexico Hospital amounted to $1,168,000 and that she has suffered from severe psychological distress because of the whole ordeal. Briant said she first inserted the cell phone inside her vagina as a dare from one of her friends but quickly realized that the phone would not come out.

Attorney Jim McAfee’s claims his client was forced to undergo a cesarean section to remove the cell phone because of the atypical shape of her pelvis and had no insurance at the time. A Samsung spokesman said that they would not comment on this case at this moment but explained that an out-of-court settlement was still an option on the table.

“I wanted to see how it would feel to put my cell phone on vibration mode inside of me, just for fun, but it soon turned out to be a nightmare,” she told Judge Andrew Peterson in tears. 

“Samsung is definitely at fault here as they offer no warning about the dangers and potential risks during the insertion of their products inside their clients male or female body cavities or genitals” Salma Briant’s lawyer, Jim McAfee said in court.

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## michael rauls (Mar 16, 2019)

mikewint said:


> I swear that I could not make this stuff up if I tried:
> 
> An Albuquerque woman is suing Samsung for $1.8 million after she required medical attention after inserting her cell phone inside her vagina and was unable to retrieve it for 96 hours.
> 
> ...


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## Wurger (Mar 16, 2019)

Unfortunately there are idiots still living among us. I would say the turkey should be disciplined for non-observance of security rules with device voltage.


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## jetcal1 (Mar 16, 2019)

Remember.....it's doesn't matter where you live,or the language you speak, they live among us

They procreate

And, they vote

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## mikewint (Mar 16, 2019)

You know that Samsung will probably give her $50,000 or so just to go away

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## Wurger (Mar 16, 2019)

jetcal1 said:


> Remember.....it's doesn't matter where you live,or the language you speak, they live among us
> 
> They procreate
> 
> And, they vote




That's true, unfortunately. My daughter says the the level of the intelligence on the Earth is constant , just the number of people changes only. I must agree.

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## mikewint (Mar 16, 2019)

Yup, agreed Einstein is often credited with the following: 
*The Difference Between Stupidity and Genius Is That Genius Has Its Limits*

Stories like the above are a sad comment on humanity and the origin of the following:
Warning label on a wheelbarrow:
NOT INTENDED FOR HIGHWAY USE

Warning label on a baby stroller:
REMOVE CHILD BEFORE FOLDING

Warning label on a thermometer:
ONCE USED RECTALLY THE THERMOMETER SHOULD NOT BE USED ORALLY

Warning label on Apple’s website:
DO NOT EAT iPOD SHUFFLE

Warning label on a carpenter’s electric drill
THIS PRODUCT IS NOT INTENDED AS A DENTAL DRILL

Warning label on a takeout coffee cup:
DO NOT POUR ON CROTCH AREA

Warning label on a jet ski:
NEVER USE A LIT MATCH OR FLAME TO CHECK FUEL LEVEL

Warning label on a bottle of dog medication:
MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS USE CARE WHEN OPERATING A CAR

Warning label on a dishwasher:
DO NOT ALLOW CHILDREN TO PLAY IN DISHWASHER

Warning label on a box of rat poison:
WARNING HAS BEEN SHOWN TO CAUSE CANCER IN LABORATORY MICE

Warning label on a “vanishing ink” marker:
SHOULD NOT BE USED TO SIGN CHECK OR ANY LEGAL DOCUMENT

Warning label on an iron-on shirt pattern:
DO NOT IRON WHILE WEARING SHIRT

Warning label on a Razor scooter:
WARNING: THIS PRODUCT MOVES WHEN USED

Warning label on a hair dryer:
DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING

Warning label on a package of fireplace logs:
CAUTION: RISK OF FIRE

Warning label on a brass fishing hook:
HARMFUL IF SWALLOWED

Warning label on a can of pepper spray:
MAY IRRITATE EYES

Warning label on a cartridge for a laser printer:
DO NOT EAT TONER

Warning label on a letter opener:
SAFETY GOGGLES RECOMMENDED

Warning label on a bar of soap:
USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP

Warning on a Jabra Drive ‘N’ Talk
NEVER OPERATE YOUR SPEAKER PHONE WHILE DRIVING

A warning label on the bar of a chainsaw
DO NOT HOLD THE WRONG END OF A CHAINSAW

Warning on a blow torch gas bottle
CONTENTS MAT CATCH FIRE

Warning printed on an egg carton
THIS PRODUCT MAY CONTAIN EGGS

Warning on MDW Outdoor Group's fox/bobcat urine powder
NOT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION

Warning label on the bottom of Kellogg’s cereal bowl
ALWAYS USE THIS PRODUCT WITH ADULT SUPERVISION

Warning label on Frankel's Costume Superman costumes
WARNING: THIS COSTUME DOES NOT ENABLE FLIGHT OR SUPER STRENGTH

Warning label on Scrubbing Bubbles Fresh Brush
DO NOT USE FOR PERSONAL HYGIENE

Warning printed on boxes of Midol Menstrual Complete
ASK A DOCTOR BEFORE USE IF YOU HAVE PROBLEMS URINATING DUE TO AN ENLARGED PROSTATE

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## Tracker (Mar 16, 2019)

Always remember, Duck Tape cannot cure stupidity, but it can muffle the sound!

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## The Basket (Mar 16, 2019)

You saying I get 50 grand for sticking a mobile phone up my pooper? 

How much would I get for a laptop?

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## mikewint (Mar 16, 2019)

The Basket said:


> sticking a mobile phone up my pooper


Check the warning labels. If it doesn't say not too you might have a case. Take this example:

A 20-year-old man arrived at the emergency room complaining of rectal pain. Abdominal films revealed a radiopaque object in the lower rectum. A spherical radiolucency was noted in the upper pole of the mass.
Upon questioning, the patient said that he had been fooling around with a close friend. After stirring a batch of concrete mix, the patient laid on his back with his feet up the wall while his friend poured the slurry through a funnel into his rectum.

Under general anesthesia, the mass was delivered without incident. Examination of the specimen revealed a perfect concrete cast of the rectum, measuring 12x7x5cm and weighing 275g. A layer of concrete was chipped off the upper part of the specimen revealing a white plastic ping-pong ball--the radiolucency observed in the abdominal x-ray.

The cement was an attempt to retrieve a ping pong ball! Blood alcohol level was negative. The attending physician recommended a psychiatric consultation, but the patient declined.

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## MIflyer (Mar 16, 2019)

Warning Label on Car Sun Screen:

DO NOT DRIVE WITH SUNSCREEN IN PLACE

I thought that absurd until I encountered a woman doing just that. Admittedly, it was late afternoon and she was driving into the sun.

I was also amused with the warning labels that came with a Marlin 30-30 rifle and Colt .45 Commander that said that things came out of the end of the barrel very fast and could be deadly.

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## michael rauls (Mar 16, 2019)

mikewint said:


> Check the warning labels. If it doesn't say not too you might have a case. Take this example:
> 
> A 20-year-old man arrived at the emergency room complaining of rectal pain. Abdominal films revealed a radiopaque object in the lower rectum. A spherical radiolucency was noted in the upper pole of the mass.
> Upon questioning, the patient said that he had been fooling around with a close friend. After stirring a batch of concrete mix, the patient laid on his back with his feet up the wall while his friend poured the slurry through a funnel into his rectum.
> ...


Anytime a story starts off with" a 20 year old man arrived at the emergency room complaining of rectal pain" you know it's not going anywhere good.

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## mikewint (Mar 16, 2019)

Do you by any chance have a precision screw driver set?

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## The Basket (Mar 16, 2019)

Saw a thread about this. 
Thanos is going to be beaten by Ant Man by crawling up his butt and then expanding to normal size. 

You will hear the ripping sound a galaxy away.

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## Torch (Mar 16, 2019)

Well she was ok with it until the batteries died and the vibrate function wouldn't work anymore.....

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## swampyankee (Mar 17, 2019)

I’m not going to comment on this use of cell phones, but a number of the cases turn out to be mythical

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## Marcel (Mar 17, 2019)

Yeah, I'm wondering if this is not fake. Too many of these kind of stories around on the internet.

Edit:
And I'm right. Your falling for fake news again 

 mikewint


FACT CHECK: Did a Woman Sue Samsung After Her Cellphone Got Stuck in Her Vagina?



> This was not a genuine news item but just another piece of junk news from WNDR, whose disclaimer notes that the site’s content is “satirical” and “fictional.”



You guys should know better than believing things on the social web.

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## The Basket (Mar 17, 2019)

I stuck a laptop up my ass for nothing!!!

Damn you mikewint!

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## DerAdlerIstGelandet (Mar 17, 2019)

Marcel said:


> Yeah, I'm wondering if this is not fake. Too many of these kind of stories around on the internet.
> 
> Edit:
> And I'm right. Your falling for fake news again
> ...



Yeah all of these things have been on facebook and the internet in general for years. I was going to say something, but I’ve grown tired of pointing out the same fake news and stories over and over again.

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## mikewint (Mar 17, 2019)

Mea Culpa! But I read and heard it in more than one place and its not all that uncommon except for the suing part.

From the Daily Star in the UK:

*Woman gets MOBILE PHONE stuck in her vagina after using it to pleasure herself*

*A WOMAN got a MOBILE PHONE stuck in her VAGINA after performing a solo sex act – and then it started ringing when she went to the doctors.*




*By Cyrus Engineer */* Published 26th February 2015*

RING RING: A woman got a mobile phone stuck inside her

The 27-year-old had been using her Nokia 3310 to pleasure herself.

But it slipped too far inside her and she was unable to remove it.

When she realised it was stuck she had no choice but call her gynaecologist and say she had an emergency.

While sat in the doctor's waiting room the woman's phone began to *RING*.

*“We suspect that this is the last time this patient uses a mobile phone for something similar”
A medic at the clinic*

The unknown woman, from Belgrade, Serbia, had reportedly been using the mobile phone as a sex toy because it was able to vibrate independently and did not need a phone call or text message to set it off.

Instead inbuilt games like Snake allowed it to vibrate repeatedly at a quick rate.

A medic at the clinic said: "We suspect that this is the last time this patient uses a mobile phone for something similar.

"She had the phone on a ribbon, but it had apparently slipped off."


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## jetcal1 (Mar 17, 2019)

Marcel said:


> Yeah, I'm wondering if this is not fake. Too many of these kind of stories around on the internet.
> 
> Edit:
> And I'm right. Your falling for fake news again
> ...




The problem is that these little legends track human behavior so well, they could easily be plausible.

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## mikewint (Mar 17, 2019)

Marcel and Chris were and are correct I should have checked further but by today's standards it was very believable. When you look at all those warning labels you just know that they were inspired by some cretin doing just that. I have an entire book of these X-rays.
The cell phone in question?


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## Marcel (Mar 17, 2019)

jetcal1 said:


> The problem is that these little legends track human behavior so well, they could easily be plausible.


Well, with billions of people on the planet there is bound to be a group of goofballs out there. And with the internet they get singled out and get an international podium.

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## herman1rg (Mar 17, 2019)

The Basket said:


> I stuck a laptop up my ass for nothing!!!
> 
> Damn you mikewint!


Picture or it didn't happen............ Haaaaaa

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## mikewint (Mar 17, 2019)

Marcel said:


> there is bound to be a group of goofballs out there. And with the internet they get singled out and get an international podium.



Yea verily tis truth and those same wack jobs can grab a weapon and slaughter innocent men, women, children and suddenly they have international renown and fame like Brenton Harrison Tarrant who actually live-streamed the shootings and Stephen Craig Paddock in the US who slaughtered 59 in Las Vegas. Without these heinous attacks would anyone even have heard of them? The path to instant world-wide fame sadly

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## at6 (Mar 17, 2019)

How long before E-cigs are inserted into an orifice? The funny part is what happens if one explodes while in butt?


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## mikewint (Mar 17, 2019)

at6 said:


> How long before E-cigs are inserted into an orifice? The funny part is what happens if one explodes while in butt?


Don't know about E-cigs but human stupidity has no bounds,

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## Marcel (Mar 17, 2019)

mikewint said:


> Yea verily tis truth and those same wack jobs can grab a weapon and slaughter the innocent men, women, children and suddenly they have international renown and fame like Brenton Harrison Tarrant who actually live-streamed the shootings and Stephen Craig Paddock in the US who slaughtered 59 in Las Vegas. Without these heinous attacks would anyone even have heard of them? The path to instant world-wide fame sadly


Absolutely Mike. That's the sad truth.


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## MIflyer (Mar 17, 2019)

I was told that in the 1970's a Japanese airline pilot rented a motor home for his vacation in the United States. He was traveling south down I-35 in Oklahoma when the vehicle ran off the road and wrecked.

Asked what had happened, he replied he had no idea what could have gone wrong. He had set the cruise control and then went in the back to fix himself a sandwich.

I guess the "Cruise Control" on an airliner works sorta differently....


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## The Basket (Mar 17, 2019)

When I was doing medic training one of my class said a guy stuck a can of deodorant up his rectal passage. And it got stuck.

If you stuck a can of deodorant up your ass, would you go to the hospital? Die of a high pressure canister rupture or die from embarrassment. Not sure which I go for.

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## Gnomey (Mar 18, 2019)




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## Marcel (Mar 18, 2019)

The Basket said:


> When I was doing medic training one of my class said a guy stuck a can of deodorant up his rectal passage. And it got stuck.
> 
> If you stuck a can of deodorant up your ass, would you go to the hospital? Die of a high pressure canister rupture or die from embarrassment. Not sure which I go for.


I'd go for not sticking a can of deodorant up my ass

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## at6 (Mar 18, 2019)

mikewint said:


> Don't know about E-cigs but human stupidity has no bounds,



That was funny Mike.


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## MIflyer (Mar 18, 2019)

Remember "Pop Rocks"? It was a kind of a powder you put in water and it fizzed up. Naturally, people decided to try putting them in their mouth. I gather that it was not pleasant.

Years before that there were the "Cracker Balls." These were rough surfaced little spheres about 3/8 inch in diameter that you either threw down hard or stomped on and they exploded. The name proved to be unfortunate, since they sounded like some kind of snack. Numerous injuries resulted when people tried to eat them. My aunt was nearly one of those. Out walking with her fiance at a 4th of July event, he said, "Here, have some cracker balls." At the time he worked for a baking company and she assumed it was a new snack product. He managed to stop her from chewing them when she popped them in her mouth. Admittedly, those were the days in which such mishaps were real accidents rather than stupidity.


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## Shortround6 (Mar 18, 2019)

MIflyer said:


> Remember "Pop Rocks"? It was a kind of a powder you put in water and it fizzed up. Naturally, people decided to try putting them in their mouth. I gather that it was not pleasant.



I believe "Pop Rocks" was actually a candy you were supposed to eat and have it fizz in your mouth.
One the other hand there was a product called "fizzies" with one tablet was supposed to turn a glass of water into a glass of carbonated soda. Putting those in your mouth could be really strange

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## special ed (Mar 18, 2019)

I remember an occasion at USAFA where I saw in the laundry room, an upper classman propped up with his butt in the air and his roomie lighting his farts after gorging nothing but beans at the evening meal. As I recall, the blue flame was 2 to 4 inches long. The next day, he couldn't sit because of burns. They both went on to fly F-4s in Nam.

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## tyrodtom (Mar 18, 2019)

I can remember the Fizzies from the early 60's. I think all of us tried putting one in their mouth at least once, but not longer than a couple of seconds.
Lucky they were too big to swallow. About the size of the old Alka-Seltzer tablets, came in cherry, grape, etc.
We were all running around in the woods with old Army canteens and BB guns. I preferred Tang in mine ( it was NASA approved)

When I was a pre-teen I had more than one firecracker go off in my fingers, low quality fuses were sometimes not very predictable . Felt like someone hit my fingers with a hammer, numb for a few minutes, but no real harm.

But I can't believe anyone in my crowd would have been dumb enough, or meek enough, to let someone put a firecracker, or a small bottle rocket between their cheeks.


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## ODonovan (Mar 21, 2019)

Marcel said:


> I'd go for not sticking a can of deodorant up my ass



Well, you wouldn't want a stick of deodorant. That would feel strange as HELL when it melted and ooozed out.










I HATE it when I try to stab myself with a NON-functional sharp point. It never works! *sigh*



-Irish

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## DerAdlerIstGelandet (Mar 21, 2019)

Shortround6 said:


> I believe "Pop Rocks" was actually a candy you were supposed to eat and have it fizz in your mouth.
> One the other hand there was a product called "fizzies" with one tablet was supposed to turn a glass of water into a glass of carbonated soda. Putting those in your mouth could be really strange



Yeah Pop Rocks is a candy. And they still make them. I found some in a candy store in Leclaire, Iowa. Had to buy some since I had not had any sinceI was a kid.


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## GrauGeist (Mar 22, 2019)

Space Dust was first on the scene in the 70's soon followed by Pop Rocks.

One thing I clearly remember, is my friend pouring a whole pouch of Space Dust in his mouth and then taking a big swig of Coke.

If you've ever seen what a Mentos can do to a 2 liter of soda, then you know how his stunt turned out...


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## mikewint (Mar 22, 2019)

ODonovan said:


> That would feel strange as HELL when it melted and ooozed out.


But it would smell purtty!!!


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## mikewint (Mar 22, 2019)

GrauGeist said:


> Space Dust was first on the scene in the 70's soon followed by Pop Rocks.
> 
> One thing I clearly remember, is my friend pouring a whole pouch of Space Dust in his mouth and then taking a big swig of Coke.
> 
> If you've ever seen what a Mentos can do to a 2 liter of soda, then you know how his stunt turned out...



Space Dust and Pop Rocks are one and the same. Pop rocks/Space dust contain SMALL amounts of Carbon Dioxide gas surrounded by sugar. Dropping them into water or a carbonated soda melts the sugar and releases the VERY SMALL amount of carbon dioxide contained within the pop rocks and essentially none of the carbon dioxide dissolved in the beverage. Such a small amount of gas hardly makes a good belch. The "explosive" effect is an Urban Myth
Mentos tablets on the other hand contain no carbon dioxide of their own BUT do provide nucleation sites for the LARGE amount of carbon dioxide gas dissolved in the beverage to suddenly come out of solution as a gas, hence the explosive effect of that large amount of gas being suddenly released.


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## GrauGeist (Mar 22, 2019)

Unlike Pop Rocks, which had that hard coating, Space Dust was more like the Lik-A-Stix (fun dip) powder.

Pouring an entire packet into your mouth and taking a swig of warm Coke certainly won't create an explosive reaction like a flying 2-liter soda bottle, BUT the reaction was enough to make my buddy's cheeks swell and coke to come shooting out his nose (much to our amusement).

Taking a drink of coke with a mouthful of Poprocks did produce a greatly enhanced popping experience when chewed and of course everyone was trying to see who could make the loudest popping sounds while eating them.

Sort of like who could make the loudest crunching sounds while eating a mouthful of Fritos during lunch in the Cafeteria. At least until the cafeteria ladies came around and scolded us...


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## mikewint (Mar 22, 2019)

Good Times Dave, Good Times!!!

I remember Pop Rocks but not the Space Dust. With further research:
In the late 1976, General Foods really took the novelty candy world by storm with it's new candy, Pop Rocks. It was a hit, so a few years later, they released a new candy (which was similar) called Space Dust. It was basically Pop Rocks, just crushed up into a fine powder. 

The fine powder would indeed provide the nucleation sites to release the carbon dioxide dissolved in the beverage hence the Mentos-like reaction

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## Tieleader (Mar 22, 2019)

special ed said:


> I remember an occasion at USAFA where I saw in the laundry room, an upper classman propped up with his butt in the air and his roomie lighting his farts after gorging nothing but beans at the evening meal. As I recall, the blue flame was 2 to 4 inches long. The next day, he couldn't sit because of burns. They both went on to fly F-4s in Nam.


They were just testing the afterburner thrust rating...


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## mikewint (Mar 22, 2019)



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## Gnomey (Mar 22, 2019)

mikewint said:


> View attachment 532839


Now who hasn't tried this in some shape or form...


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## Tieleader (Mar 22, 2019)

me.

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## at6 (Mar 22, 2019)

I've never tried that. I prefer having an uncooked anus.

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## The Basket (Mar 22, 2019)

Polyembolokoilamania 

oddly I would rather stick things up my ass than spell that again.

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## mikewint (Mar 22, 2019)

at6 said:


> I prefer having an uncooked anus.


No worries, A typical fart is composed of about 59 percent nitrogen, *21 percent hydrogen*, 9 percent carbon dioxide, *7 percent methane *and 4 percent oxygen. Only about *one percent of a fart contains hydrogen sulfide gas* and mercaptans, which contain sulfur, and the sulfur is what makes farts stink (thus the deaf can enjoy them too).
The flammable gasses are hydrogen, methane, and hydrogen sulfide. Lake any other combustion oxygen is required in the correct stoichometric quantity.
So until the fart enters the atmosphere, mixes with oxygen and encounters an ignition source, no combustion. Now since heat rises you would want your nether regions pointing up at the time of ignition


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## Zipper730 (Mar 22, 2019)

Because I'm into high-brow humor...

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## Tieleader (Mar 24, 2019)

Zipper730 said:


> Because I'm into high-brow humor...



Now I'm amused AND thirsty.
Plus all the wildlife in that area are going to be up all night on a sticky caffeine high.


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## Gnomey (Mar 25, 2019)

Impressive!


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## Zipper730 (Mar 25, 2019)

The Basket said:


> Polyembolokoilamania


That has to do with inserting into any body orifice. That said, there is a medical term called a foreign rectal body...


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## Shortround6 (Mar 25, 2019)

If you are six years old and stick a bean up your nose that is one thing.

If you are old enough to vote and you stick strange things up your butt.............................wait...................that explains a lot about modern elections

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## swampyankee (Mar 25, 2019)

When my wife was an RN in the local hospital's SICU, a radiologist came jogging up with an X-ray he thought hilarious, in a rather dark way: a person had mistaken a soda bottle for a rectal suppository. Unsurprisingly, illicit drugs were involved.

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## The Basket (Mar 26, 2019)

There are 2 schools of thought on the insertion of foreign objects into the rectal passage.
Some call it a mental illness and some call it a Saturday night. 
Either way, I am not here to judge.

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## Bernhart (Mar 26, 2019)

had a patient with a shot glass shoved up there, and yes drugs were involved

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## mikewint (Mar 26, 2019)

Then there are Gerbils, according to Sylvester Stallone!!! (Yea I know that it's not true but funny none-the-less)

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## Gnomey (Mar 26, 2019)

The Basket said:


> There are 2 schools of thought on the insertion of foreign objects into the rectal passage.
> Some call it a mental illness and some call it a Saturday night.
> Either way, I am not here to judge.


It happens throughout the week but Friday and Saturday more commonly...


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## The Basket (Mar 26, 2019)

In engineering terms, using on outlet valve as an inlet valve is never a good idea.

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## Zipper730 (Mar 28, 2019)

The Basket said:


> There are 2 schools of thought on the insertion of foreign objects into the rectal passage.
> Some call it a mental illness and some call it a Saturday night.


I guess if you either don't get it stuck, or can push it out -- it's a Saturday night; if you can't, it's a mental illness (or at least a visit to the ER).

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## mikewint (Mar 28, 2019)

Zipper730 said:


> it's a Saturday night;



*De gustibus non est disputandum*


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## Zipper730 (Mar 28, 2019)

mikewint said:


> *De gustibus non est disputandum*


There is no dispute about tastes?

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## at6 (Mar 28, 2019)

Zipper730 said:


> There is no dispute about tastes?


Forget it. I'm not touching that with a fork or a spoon.


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## mikewint (Mar 28, 2019)

at6 said:


> I'm not touching that with a fork or a spoon.



In that case may I suggest a speculum...

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## Gnomey (Mar 28, 2019)




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## Capt. Vick (Mar 28, 2019)



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## GrauGeist (Mar 28, 2019)

mikewint said:


> In that case may I suggest a speculum...
> 
> View attachment 533440


A friend of mine showed me this the other day.

Yes, it's for real...

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## The Basket (Mar 29, 2019)

Anything is an ice cream scoop if you're brave enough.

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## mikewint (Mar 29, 2019)

NOW I know why the wife always complained about them being freezing cold

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## at6 (Mar 29, 2019)

mikewint said:


> In that case may I suggest a speculum...
> 
> View attachment 533440


Now you know how California collects taxes.

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## Gnomey (Mar 29, 2019)

GrauGeist said:


> A friend of mine showed me this the other day.
> 
> Yes, it's for real...
> 
> View attachment 533476


Hard pass

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## HealzDevo (Mar 30, 2019)

Related to deodorant cans , I can remember some Rovers lighting them, so I think that was at a campfire and it was more like a bomb going off...least 16 or so. Definitely old enough to know better anyway. Stuck one of the usual size spray cans in the fire made a boom more like a decent sized bomb...

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## mikewint (Mar 30, 2019)

In a L O N G Ago time we used to haul garbage out in the back and burn it in 55 gal drums. My treat for this job was Mom's occasional can of hairspray. Most just had a weak valve that blew out first releasing a jet of fire BUT every once in a while that almost full can the blew like a hand grenade at times blowing the bottom or side of the 55 gal drum.
On another note we used to buy Calcium Carbide at the hardware store. Carbide + water = acetylene gas. A can of water and a handful of carbide under a 55 gal drum then a firecracker. Lite the fuse a run like 7734. Think some of those drums reached 110 ft or so. . . Good Times!

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## special ed (Mar 30, 2019)

Good thing we didn't live near each other. We'd both be in jail. One of the quiet but visual things was to get the plastic suit bag from the cleaners, remember those, seal the big end with momma's iron, blow out the pilot lite on the stove, fill the bag with gas, get a fuse about 8 inches long and outside in the street light it let it go. No noise but a great rolling blue and yellow flame . This worked well in the middle 1950s because of the flying saucer scare. The musician across the street would come home drunk from playing in his night club and his wife wouldn't let his in. He sat on the porch and could be counted on to run to the phone booth (remember those) at the gas station and alert the police about the invasion.

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## mikewint (Mar 30, 2019)

special ed said:


> We'd both be in jail.


Probably not, those were the days when adults did not mix with nor enter in to the Kid's World and by the same token we steered clear of the Adult World as in "seen but not heard". Only under the most egregious circumstances did we hear from adults. 
We didn't have natural gas only propane so that would't have worked, Though we did make "Fire Kites" out of newspaper and the floating lantern style using small candles

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## Night Fighter Nut (Mar 31, 2019)

Just glossing over these posts but it sounds like someone had a profound case of Cranial Rectal Insertion.


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## swampyankee (Mar 31, 2019)

special ed said:


> Good thing we didn't live near each other. We'd both be in jail. One of the quiet but visual things was to get the plastic suit bag from the cleaners, remember those, seal the big end with momma's iron, blow out the pilot lite on the stove, fill the bag with gas, get a fuse about 8 inches long and outside in the street light it let it go. No noise but a great rolling blue and yellow flame . This worked well in the middle 1950s because of the flying saucer scare. The musician across the street would come home drunk from playing in his night club and his wife wouldn't let his in. He sat on the porch and could be counted on to run to the phone booth (remember those) at the gas station and alert the police about the invasion.



Now, with the commonality of “zero tolerance” in everything, flaming natural gas balloons would probably result in a one-way trip to Guantanamo.

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## mikewint (Mar 31, 2019)

Night Fighter Nut said:


> Just glossing over these posts but it sounds like someone had a profound case of Cranial Rectal Insertion.


 Been done!

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## at6 (Mar 31, 2019)

mikewint said:


> Been done!
> View attachment 533865


Passport photo for Sum Ting Wong?

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## N4521U (Apr 10, 2019)

There's a bit of a worried look on the face of the Inserted!!!!!!

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## Zipper730 (Apr 16, 2019)

at6 said:


> Passport photo for Sum Ting Wong?


Actually, his name is Wong Wei

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## Gnomey (Apr 17, 2019)




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## The Basket (Apr 17, 2019)

The prolapse is strong with this one.

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## michael rauls (Apr 17, 2019)

N4521U said:


> There's a bit of a worried look on the face of the Inserted!!!!!!


Yes, and it seems appropriate given his location.

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## Zipper730 (Feb 1, 2020)

at6 said:


> How long before E-cigs are inserted into an orifice? The funny part is what happens if one explodes while in butt?


I guess you're ass is history. You might die too...



mikewint said:


> On another note we used to buy Calcium Carbide at the hardware store. Carbide + water = acetylene gas. A can of water and a handful of carbide under a 55 gal drum then a firecracker. Lite the fuse a run like 7734. Think some of those drums reached 110 ft or so. . . Good Times!


Actually, I just was reading about a case where a guy got a pressurized gas tank, which he filled with oxygen and acetylene _together_. Though a regulator was present, initially, he removed it. I guess he figured he had a simpler oxyacetylene torch.

What he had was a bomb: He ignited the tip and the flame backtracked through the tank and exploded. It didn't help that he was in a garage that had other materials present such as gasoline, paint-thinner, and other stuff. It produced a rather respectable bang that shattered windows in a couple of houses. The entire garage was basically demolished.

The guy didn't die instantly, you'd think he'd have been vaporized, but he was largely intact, but when his friend tried to grab his arm, there wasn't really much to grab -- it was all shredded. He did die, however. He was a nice guy, from what everybody said, but it goes well with the title: "Life is hard, but it's harder when you're stupid".

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## swampyankee (Feb 1, 2020)

Zipper730 said:


> I guess you're ass is history. You might die too...
> 
> Actually, I just was reading about a case where a guy got a pressurized gas tank, which he filled with oxygen and acetylene _together_. Though a regulator was present, initially, he removed it. I guess he figured he had a simpler oxyacetylene torch.
> 
> ...



Compressing acetylene is DANGEROUS! See "Acetylene not dissolved in acetone may deflagrate above about 760 mm Hg absolute and becomes unstable at elevated pressures. It may decomposed into hydrogen and carbon with explosive violence." (Acetylene) and "Acetylene becomes unstable above the pressure of 25 psi, which makes it explosive, too." (Know About Acetylene, Its Properties, and Rexarc’s Acetylene Gas Monitoring System - Rexarc Blog) Also, see https://www.dmme.virginia.gov/dmm/P...airTopics/AR-oxygen-acetyleneuseandsafety.pdf.

Putting acetylene under pressure wouldn't require a torch to make it explode; it can do it all by itself.


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## MIflyer (Feb 2, 2020)

About 30 years ago I read where a man's condo had an insect problem so he decided to deal with it thoroughly. He set off about 6 cans of insect fogger before going on vacation.

Those things used flammable gas as a propellant. BOOM!


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## michael rauls (Feb 2, 2020)

MIflyer said:


> About 30 years ago I read where a man's condo had an insect problem so he decided to deal with it thoroughly. He set off about 6 cans of insect fogger before going on vacation.
> 
> Those things used flammable gas as a propellant. BOOM!


That very same story is in the news about every year or two around here( So Cal).
Guess we have an overpopulation of geniuses.


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## MIflyer (Feb 2, 2020)

When I lived in SoCal in the late 70's during the gasoline shortage there was a news item about a guy who was found to be keeping about 10 gallons of gasoline in his apartment. In his bedroom closet. In a plastic trash can.

As stupid as that sounds, few years back, in Melbourne, Fl, an apartment building caught fire. Turned out that one guy was moving out and asked his next door neighbor if he wanted to buy his clothes dryer. The neighbor paid him for the dryer and moved it to his apartment, but:
1. The dryer belonged to the apartment, not the renter.
2. The neighbor who bought the dryer - it was a gas dryer - did not turn the gas off when he disconnected the dryer. Hence the fire


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## Zipper730 (Feb 24, 2020)

swampyankee said:


> Compressing acetylene is DANGEROUS!


It turns out, it explodes quite well -- even better than I'd have thought (and I expected it to explode like a bomb).


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## ThomasP (Feb 25, 2020)

About 30 years ago, a coworker had an old German Shepard-Labrador mix. One day, he mentioned the dog grabbed ahold of his 12 yo daughter's hand and wouldn't let go right away. When he told me this I asked what they had been doing at the time, ie playing, running, yelling, were they near the road, etc? He said that the daughter was about to go down the stairs to the basement. I asked if the dog was afraid of going into the basement in the past, or if anything significant had changed that might have made the dog afraid of going down there. I even asked him if he might have a black widow problem, or rats, or some such. In any of these cases the dog might be trying to protect the girl. He said no, but mentioned that the dog was a rescue dog they had adopted about a year earlier, and they had no real idea if it had behavior problems previously.

A few weeks later the same thing happened again, only to a neighbor lady who was going into my coworker's basement to grab some folding chairs for the barbecue that was going on in the back yard.

With the daughter it took a minute or so yelling at the dog to get him to let go, with the neighbor lady he did not let go until they got him to move outside with her. The dog did not draw blood in either case but left bite impressions. He also growled at some of the people.

My coworker decided the dog was potentially dangerous and did not want to worry about being sued. So he had the dog put to sleep the next day.

Two weeks later the house blew up. The fire department and utilities investigators decided the natural gas explosion was probably due to a leak from the old 1940s era gas stove in the basement.

Fortunately no one was home when the house blew up.

It turned out that the dog was a rescue dog times 2. He had been a fire and rescue dog in his working life, often used to check for gas leaks (among other things) and locate people trapped in collapsed structures. The original owner (a former fireman and his handler until he was retired) had died, having no close relatives. The relatives he had did not want the dog so they dropped him off at a pound and he was put up for adoption. The pound had marked in his papers that he was a rescue dog.

Ah me, I think I will go and look at funny cat and dog pictures now.


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## mikewint (Feb 25, 2020)

Zipper730 said:


> t explodes quite well


The triple C-C bond is HIGHLY stressed and as such contains a VERY large amount of chemical potential energy - +800 kJ/mol (1 mol acetylene = 26 grams)
It is so unstable that even small static sparks can set it off over wide concentration ranges in air (as little as 25% to 85%) though high concentrations tend to just burn in air with a yellowish very smoky flame (streamers of pure carbon will fall like snow flakes for several minutes after ignition).
Cylinders of acetylene are also highly dangerous. Common environmental temperatures - freezing and hot temps (+120F) affect both the acetylene and acetone in the tanks. Cold temps can cause the acetone to escape with the acetylene and high temps expand both the acetylene and acetone.
The wide ignition concentration range and low activation energies mean that even tiny leaks can ignite and explode. That's why Acetylene tanks are NEVER in enclosed trucks and are kept chained to a wall or on a special torch cart carrier. Even opening the tank valve requires caution and trying to force a stuck valve....not me!

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## tyrodtom (Feb 25, 2020)

Good grief guys, I've been a professional bodyman for almost 50 years now, and a mechanic for even longer.
I've had a oxygen and acetylene tanks in my private garage , and at my place of work for all that time, you act like I'm living on borrowed time.

The only accidents I've witnessed is someone sitting something afire they didn't intend to.
I work with lots of dangerous materials and tools, just like many other blue collar workers.

You learn the hazards, and the do's and don'ts, or you don't last long.

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## Zipper730 (Feb 25, 2020)

mikewint said:


> The triple C-C bond is HIGHLY stressed and as such contains a VERY large amount of chemical potential energy - +800 kJ/mol (1 mol acetylene = 26 grams)
> It is so unstable that even small static sparks can set it off over wide concentration ranges in air (as little as 25% to 85%) though high concentrations tend to just burn in air with a yellowish very smoky flame (streamers of pure carbon will fall like snow flakes for several minutes after ignition).
> Cylinders of acetylene are also highly dangerous. Common environmental temperatures - freezing and hot temps (+120F) affect both the acetylene and acetone in the tanks. Cold temps can cause the acetone to escape with the acetylene and high temps expand both the acetylene and acetone.
> The wide ignition concentration range and low activation energies mean that even tiny leaks can ignite and explode. That's why Acetylene tanks are NEVER in enclosed trucks and are kept chained to a wall or on a special torch cart carrier.


Yeah, I saw this video from 2007 where a plant storing the stuff had a whole bunch of tanks explode and go flying (they became projectiles).


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## N4521U (Feb 25, 2020)

Hadf a friend many years ago was building hot rods.
Guy came in with an aluminum gas tank that had a pinhole leak.
Welder says "here, I'll fix it" about 10 gallon tank.
Put it between his legs, touched it with his itty bitty welder
and 
BANG
I caught him on the way to the ground from his stool.....................


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## michael rauls (Feb 26, 2020)

ThomasP said:


> About 30 years ago, a coworker had an old German Shepard-Labrador mix. One day, he mentioned the dog grabbed ahold of his 12 yo daughter's hand and wouldn't let ago right away. When he told me this I asked what they had been doing at the time, ie playing, running, yelling, were they near the road, etc? He said that the daughter was about to go down the stairs to the basement. I asked if the dog was afraid of going into the basement in the past, or if anything significant had changed that might have made the dog afraid of going down there. I even asked him if he might have a black widow problem, or rats, or some such. In any of these cases the dog might be trying to protect the girl. He said no, but mentioned that the dog was a rescue dog they had adopted about a year earlier, and they had no real idea if it had behavior problems previously.
> 
> A few weeks later the same thing happened again, only to a neighbor lady who was going into my coworker's basement to grab some folding chairs for the barbecue that was going on in the back yard.
> 
> ...


Damn.............that's heartbreaking.


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## michael rauls (Feb 26, 2020)

N4521U said:


> Hadf a friend many years ago was building hot rods.
> Guy came in with an aluminum gas tank that had a pinhole leak.
> Welder says "here, I'll fix it" about 10 gallon tank.
> Put it between his legs, touched it with his itty bitty welder
> ...


when you said gas tank, welder, and " I'll fix it" I knew where it was going next.

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## mikewint (Feb 26, 2020)

michael rauls said:


> Damn.............that's heartbreaking.



The US treated its Vietnam War Dogs worse than it treated its Vietnam human veterans:
Approximately 4,900 dogs were used in Vietnam from 1964 - 1975. The "approximately" is because that military did not even bother to keep records of the dogs until 1968. The dogs were used in various roles, sentry, booby-trap, combat tracker, mine detection, tunnel dogs, etc. 232 were KIA along with 295 handlers during the course of the war. It is estimated that the dogs saved the lives of over 10,000 US soldiers. As the war ended the dogs were classified as "Excess equipment" by the Army. Initially the Army began a program of quarantining the dogs for 4 weeks before sending them out of Vietnam but after 204 dogs passed through the program it was deemed "too costly" and discontinued. The remaining dogs were euthanized. 300 were turned over to ARVN forces though the Vietnamese had little use for dogs except as food. There were no Veterinarians in the country and the dogs were seldom fed as it was "too costly" to maintain them. Most died of starvation.
In the last days of the war any remaining dogs were simply abandoned to be hunted down by the NVA, VC, or civilian villagers looking for a meal.


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## mikewint (Feb 26, 2020)

tyrodtom said:


> You learn the hazards, and the do's and don'ts, or you don't last long.



It only takes ONE whoopsie triggered by complacency...


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## at6 (Feb 28, 2020)

mikewint said:


> The US treated its Vietnam War Dogs worse than it treated its Vietnam human veterans:
> Approximately 4,900 dogs were used in Vietnam from 1964 - 1975. The "approximately" is because that military did not even bother to keep records of the dogs until 1968. The dogs were used in various roles, sentry, booby-trap, combat tracker, mine detection, tunnel dogs, etc. 232 were KIA along with 295 handlers during the course of the war. It is estimated that the dogs saved the lives of over 10,000 US soldiers. As the war ended the dogs were classified as "Excess equipment" by the Army. Initially the Army began a program of quarantining the dogs for 4 weeks before sending them out of Vietnam but after 204 dogs passed through the program it was deemed "too costly" and discontinued. The remaining dogs were euthanized. 300 were turned over to ARVN forces though the Vietnamese had little use for dogs except as food. There were no Veterinarians in the country and the dogs were seldom fed as it was "too costly" to maintain them. Most died of starvation.
> In the last days of the war any remaining dogs were simply abandoned to be hunted down by the NVA, VC, or civilian villagers looking for a meal.


Perhaps the decision makers should been euthanized and fed to their families. Sorry Mike, but my love for dogs out weighs my feeling for humans.

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## mikewint (Feb 28, 2020)

I could understand the 'not just returning' these dogs to the US directly. The parasites/diseases in Vietnam were totally different than in the US, hence the quarantine. BUT these dogs had been highly trained and had saved countless lives, more than once at the cost of their own life. They were soldiers as much as any human soldier. We owed them and paid them back with a needle/maltreatment/death.
Then again many human Vets received the same treatment ": Excess Equipment"

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## at6 (Mar 1, 2020)

I may not have been able to serve in the military, but I treated each returning veteran with the respect and honor that they should have been given when they came home.


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## swampyankee (Mar 1, 2020)

mikewint said:


> I could understand the 'not just returning' these dogs to the US directly. The parasites/diseases in Vietnam were totally different than in the US, hence the quarantine. BUT these dogs had been highly trained and had saved countless lives, more than once at the cost of their own life. They were soldiers as much as any human soldier. We owed them and paid them back with a needle/maltreatment/death.
> Then again many human Vets received the same treatment ": Excess Equipment"



A lot of veterans are still treated quite shabbily by the federal government. Just witness the problems within the VA and the official antipathy to recognizing problems due to toxic agents, from Agent Orange and dioxins from Vietnam to burning waste and potential endoparasite infections from Iraq. Of course, a lot of veterans are treated quite badly within the services, as exemplified by the numerous cases of sexual assault that were suppressed.


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