# If you choked a smurf...



## Lucky13 (Mar 15, 2015)

...what colour would he/she turn?


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## DerAdlerIstGelandet (Mar 15, 2015)

Choking the smurf...

Thats what you call choking the chicken? Good god man, this a family forum.


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## FLYBOYJ (Mar 15, 2015)



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## GrauGeist (Mar 15, 2015)

Lucky13 said:


> ...what colour would he/she turn?


Dead...


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## Gnomey (Mar 15, 2015)

Jan really is losing it...


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## gumbyk (Mar 15, 2015)




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## Airframes (Mar 15, 2015)

I used to thing Jan was a Muppet, due to his past employment as the Swedish Chef, but all this time he's been hiding the fact that he's a ... Smurf ??!!


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## Wayne Little (Mar 16, 2015)

Gnomey said:


> Jan really is losing it...



I was wondering.....


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## Lucky13 (Mar 16, 2015)

Terry told me the other day, that he thinks that a Wildcat, is sexier than a snake in stockings!


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## Wayne Little (Mar 16, 2015)




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## Gnomey (Mar 16, 2015)




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## Aaron Brooks Wolters (Mar 16, 2015)

LMAO!!!!


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## vikingBerserker (Mar 16, 2015)



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## Wayne Little (Mar 17, 2015)

I wanna know what Terry has to say on the matter....


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## Lucky13 (Mar 17, 2015)

Wayne Little said:


> I wanna know what Terry has to say on the matter....



About the Wildcat or about snakes being sexy in stockings?


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## GrauGeist (Mar 17, 2015)

.

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. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . bacon

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## Airframes (Mar 17, 2015)

They both look equally ridiculous of course!
Anyway, how the **** could a snake wear stockings? They have no hands to pull them on with, and no legs to put them, you stupid boy !


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## Marcel (Mar 17, 2015)

What's wrong with Jan? Did he forget his medicine? We had lassies in Catalinas somewhere else on the forum and instead he's wondering about strangling a smurf....


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## gumbyk (Mar 17, 2015)

Marcel said:


> What's wrong with Jan? Did he forget his medicine? We had lassies in Catalinas somewhere else on the forum and instead he's wondering about strangling a smurf....



I think its looking at those lassies that led to him strangling a smurf....


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## Airframes (Mar 17, 2015)

I wonder if a Smurfboard is something used for water sports, or a Swedish delicacy ............. I've got me coat !


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## Wurger (Mar 17, 2015)

Ok guys.. while web surfing I found very rare image of Jan doing his additional part time job in the Scotland. Do you think it may influence Jan's mood?

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## Bucksnort101 (Mar 17, 2015)

What the SMURF, those shoes don't do with that outfit at all!


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## Wurger (Mar 17, 2015)

Airframes said:


> ..... a pink miniskirt, worn with yellow high heels - just _*no*_ taste, these Swettish people !



I think Terry may know something more about that.


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## GrauGeist (Mar 17, 2015)




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## vikingBerserker (Mar 17, 2015)

LMAO!


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## Airframes (Mar 17, 2015)

Yep, that's the outfit he wore at 'Club Muppetania' in Glasgow, for the Svenske-Ecosse Clan Society European Exposition (SECSEE, for short) at Easter, the year before last. Jan was escorted from the building, and dumped across the border, for wearing un-coordinated clothing, and being in possession of offensive knees.
The club closed down very soon after .............

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## Crimea_River (Mar 17, 2015)

Lucky13 said:


> ...what colour would he/she turn?



The same colour as in the pics of the model you're building.


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## Wayne Little (Mar 18, 2015)




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## Njaco (Mar 18, 2015)



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## Wurger (Mar 18, 2015)




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## at6 (Mar 18, 2015)

Another question is how are you going to the smurf poo off afterwards?


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## Wayne Little (Mar 19, 2015)

Not going there.....


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## Lucky13 (Mar 19, 2015)

I don't speak smurf, so I don't have a smurfing clue, what you're smurf about!


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## at6 (Mar 19, 2015)

Every one is oh so smurfy today.


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## vikingBerserker (Mar 19, 2015)

Oh smurf you!

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## GrauGeist (Mar 19, 2015)

Go smurf yourself...

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## FLYBOYJ (Mar 19, 2015)



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## Wurger (Mar 19, 2015)




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## Airframes (Mar 19, 2015)

Lucky13 said:


> I don't speak smurf, so I don't have a smurfing clue, what you're smurf about!



Well, the last time you were in the village pub, with Mick and I, you were speaking perfectly _fluent _Smurf !
Mind you, it also sounded _very_ like the Swedish Chef ..................

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## FLYBOYJ (Mar 19, 2015)



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## Airframes (Mar 19, 2015)

Ah! Joe's found Jan's new avatar and personal logo !

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## Wurger (Mar 19, 2015)

Holy Smurf !!!


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## Gnomey (Mar 19, 2015)

Maybe at the end of the day, its a euphemism Jan uses to mean something else entirely...


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## Lucky13 (Mar 20, 2015)

Airframes said:


> Well, the last time you were in the village pub, with Mick and I, you were speaking perfectly _fluent _Smurf !
> Mind you, it also sounded _very_ like the Swedish Chef ..................



Was that the same guy, that thought that I was _Irish?_


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## GrauGeist (Mar 20, 2015)

Gnomey said:


> Maybe at the end of the day, its a euphemism Jan uses to mean something else entirely...


Sort of like Choking the Chicken, Spanking the Monkey, Twirling the Squirrel?


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## Airframes (Mar 20, 2015)

Lucky13 said:


> Was that the same guy, that thought that I was _Irish?_



No, I think that was in the local pub, where you met Steve. The 'talking Smurf' incident was in the village pub at Mick's place (The Lamb), after eleventeen pints of 'Black Sheep', which you pronounced Slack Beepsh ...........


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## Lucky13 (Mar 20, 2015)

....aaah, where you had an argument with your mirror image!


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## CommanderBounds (Mar 20, 2015)

Jan shouldn't even have to ask what smurf looks like when it's being choked because he could just choke himself in the mirror and find out!


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## Gnomey (Mar 20, 2015)

GrauGeist said:


> Sort of like Choking the Chicken, Spanking the Monkey, Twirling the Squirrel?



Pretty much...


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## DBII (Mar 20, 2015)

Every one knows that Smurfs are blue because there is only one Smurfette.

DBII


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## CORSNING (Mar 29, 2015)




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## Njaco (Mar 29, 2015)

If you hold it tight enough, it turns blue. Ask Jan.......


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## Lucky13 (Mar 29, 2015)

....and here I thought that it was you wearing a blue makeup!


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## Wurger (Mar 29, 2015)

Oh... a blue makeup ....


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## Lucky13 (Mar 29, 2015)

NJaco!!??

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## at6 (Mar 29, 2015)

That is one scary smurf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Gnomey (Mar 30, 2015)

Maybe that is what Jan gets up to in his spare time...


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## Lucky13 (Mar 31, 2015)

I've got less hair and fewer chins than that....._thing!_


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## Wayne Little (Mar 31, 2015)

Holy Sh!t....it's gonna be hard to sleep tonight after that....


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## Wurger (Mar 31, 2015)

No wonder... what about that?


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## Wayne Little (Mar 31, 2015)

strewth!


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## Lucky13 (Mar 31, 2015)

That's _not_ how I remember Smurfette, no, wait.....it is, never mind!


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## at6 (Apr 1, 2015)

The smurf in the middle has bigger boobs than the smurfette. What's that thing she's holding in her hand, a smurfurator?


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## Wayne Little (Apr 1, 2015)

it's scary sh!t man....


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## Njaco (Apr 1, 2015)




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## at6 (Apr 2, 2015)

That's an improvement.


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## Wurger (Apr 2, 2015)

I wouldn't exaggerte .. the blue colour is more diffiicult to wash off from a neck than the red traces of a lipstick.


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## Lucky13 (Apr 2, 2015)

Personal experience my friend?


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## Airframes (Apr 2, 2015)

And just how do you know this my friend ??


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## Lucky13 (Apr 2, 2015)

Maybe, that's something for the memoirs, old boy....


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## Wurger (Apr 2, 2015)




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## Airframes (Apr 2, 2015)

Yep, it's been recorded !


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