# I could be MIA for a while



## Thorlifter (Feb 6, 2009)

Actually, I'll be hit and miss for a while.

Guys, I'm going through the hardest point in my life. I'm in the middle of two custody battles at the same time, one with my wife for her daughter, who lives with us now and the second for my daughters, who live with my ex.

My wifes ex is suing us for custody just to be an a$$ and only because he doesn't want to pay child support. We have a hearing on 2/13 to see if it will go to trial.

My kids have been living in a ton of sh!t and I'm putting my foot down. My youngest, 12 years old, has refused to ever go back. My oldest, 15, has decided she would rather be with her mom, which just pisses me off. I promise you guys, this is a loooooooooooooong story and I won't bore you with the details.

Just know that my priorities have changed recently and my mind is not on airplanes and history right now. I'm trying real hard to do the right things for the people I care about the most with a very limited amount of $$ right now. I have also had to man-up and admit that I did my wife wrong and have sided with my kids and against my wife for years........and now I'm paying the price. It's put a hell of a strain on my marriage, but I'm doing my best to work it out. Needless to say, my wife is worried sick that she may lose her daughter to her ex and for no good reason. Her ex even called CPS (child protective services) on us just to make us look bad to the judge.

Man, I could go on and on, but it would get to the point that you would probably think I'm making it up. That one person couldn't go through all the crap that I'm dealing with right now. I mean, Hollywood couldn't make a script like this. My father just can't understand how I deal with all the stuff I'm handling on a daily basis.

Just know that I think of you guys often, but my mind just isn't in this right now. This IS my home away from homes and I thank each and every one of you for being here. I WILL be back, and hopefully, very soon.

If you have them and haven't done it lately, tell your kids you love them!

Thor (Roland)


----------



## Marcel (Feb 6, 2009)

Already thought you spent less time here.
Hang on there Thor and good luck from here. Hope it'll all work out.


----------



## Catch22 (Feb 6, 2009)

Good luck buddy, hang in there!


----------



## Hunter368 (Feb 6, 2009)

Hang in there Thor, life will get better.


----------



## Heinz (Feb 6, 2009)

Best of luck mate.

Take care.


----------



## Njaco (Feb 6, 2009)

Thor, hang in there! I've been there with my ex and kids so I know EXACTLY what you are talking about. Keep a cool head, ignore emotions and follow the letter of the law if that is an option. It does help.

My prayers are with you!


----------



## GrauGeist (Feb 6, 2009)

Thor, you hang tough, brother...

I've been down that long ugly road too, so I can relate.

Best of luck to you, hope you get everything sorted out!


----------



## Geedee (Feb 6, 2009)

It goes without saying that, irrespective of what has happened in the past on the domestic front, and by who to who, your mates are on here if you need a shoulder to lean on, some-one to just talk to or to even have a whinge with, we're all here from around the world, 365, 24/7 !

Whatever the outcome, you have our support and thoughts. We're rooting for you !


----------



## A4K (Feb 6, 2009)

Best of luck to you and your wife, Roland. 

My only experiences with this are as being one of the kids involved when my parents split up, which got pretty nasty with similar stuff happening as you described, but more recently from my sister who has been going through the same thing for about two years now. In one bad incident, her ex nearly choked her to death in the garage while his brother just watched - the door was open to the street and two passers by started yelling at him to stop, whereupon he took after them to deal with them, and my sister managed to flee...
The thing I love about this is the effectiveness of the law system. My sister has a court appointed lawyer, she has no money for better. Her ex has the best lawyer in the city, who happens to buy his drugs from my sister's ex... Guess who wins all the court battles, and has been able to avoid jail even after trying to kill my sister ??? 
I could easily believe anything about now in this regard!

Hope it all turns out alright anyway mate. Easy to say, but keep your chin up, and atleast you have each other for support, not to mention the best wishes of everyone on the forum.


----------



## Glider (Feb 6, 2009)

Its a case of first things first, good luck to you all.


----------



## 109ROAMING (Feb 6, 2009)

Hope it works out best as possible mate

Take care

Winston Churchill "If your going through hell,Keep going"


----------



## lesofprimus (Feb 6, 2009)

Man Roland, sorry to hear about ur difficulties... Take care of urself and KEEP A POSITIVE ATTITUDE, it will make the difference....


----------



## sturmer (Feb 6, 2009)

good luck and we all hope it will work out fine for you


----------



## Wayne Little (Feb 6, 2009)

Jeez Thor, fingers are crossed for you....hope things work out for best mate for you and the family....take care man!


----------



## evangilder (Feb 6, 2009)

Sorry to hear about this, Roland. Take care of what you need to. We will be here and we are behind you 100%.


----------



## Wildcat (Feb 6, 2009)

Keep your chin up Roland. I wish you all the best mate.


----------



## Crunch (Feb 6, 2009)

Sh!t man, that's rough.

I had my daughter when I was 18 (she was 16  ) and a few years later we parted ways. Long story short, she took off to a feral mining town on the other side of the country, didn't see my daughter for 12 months, no contact for 8 months. 12 months of court and she's back and things have worked out good enough (not as we'd like, but good enough). 

It's the single hardest thing I've ever been through. I had times where I cried for 2 days straight because I couldn't even picture my daughters face anymore. All the best to you and your family, don't be too hard on yourself and remember that good thing prevail in the end.

But also, put a little faith in the justice system. I know with every news story, and every slap on the wrist punishment, even that can get hard. But judges are very smart people. They're not just some numb-skull listening to the stories and flipping a coin. They can see through all the bullshit, lies and deceit that gets brought up in custody battles, they see it day in, day out. Don't fall into the games and the tit-for-tat disgracing. When 'they' say something, suck it up, and then prove them wrong. For every bit of bullshit they throw at you, that's one more black mark for them in the judges eyes.

Mate, I can't express how much I hope this works out for you. Remember to keep the ones you love close and work together as a unit.

All the best, from everyone here at the ww2a family.

Andrew.


----------



## rochie (Feb 6, 2009)

good luck with your troubles Roland, thinking of you mate


----------



## ToughOmbre (Feb 6, 2009)

Hang in there Thor. 

And like the rest have already stated, we'll be here for you.

Hope and pray that things work out for the good.

TO


----------



## Airframes (Feb 6, 2009)

Like a couple here, I've known similar circumstances, so know how it is. Keep at it, and I hope it all works out soon. My thoughts are with and for you Roland, good luck.
Terry.


----------



## Matt308 (Feb 6, 2009)

Best of luck to you Thor. Keep positive buddy.


----------



## Messy1 (Feb 6, 2009)

I am sorry you are having to go through that, but it will be worth it in the end! I cannot imagine not being able to see Conner whenever I want, or not having him around. Keep your chin up Thor! Do not stoop to their level. Do what you feel is right. Act and speak honorably and the judges will see that. Good Luck!


----------



## Bucksnort101 (Feb 6, 2009)

Best of luck to you, hope things work out for you.


----------



## Lucky13 (Feb 6, 2009)

So very sorry to hear about this Roland.. You're in all our thoughts and prayers my friend...hang in there.

Wish you my most heartfelt and sincere Good Luck!


----------



## Vassili Zaitzev (Feb 6, 2009)

Sorry to hear about this Thor. Hang in there, we're all here for you.


----------



## DBII (Feb 6, 2009)

Good luck, 


DBII


----------



## Amsel (Feb 7, 2009)

Best of luck to ya. Nothing can beat the power of positive thinking. You are on the right track.


----------



## Aaron Brooks Wolters (Feb 7, 2009)

Keep your head up Thor. Don't let it get you down.


----------



## Screaming Eagle (Feb 7, 2009)

Sorry to hear what you are going through Thor. Keep positive and the best of luck to you. I hop everything turns out O.K

Jason.


----------



## Watanbe (Feb 8, 2009)

Good luck mate all the best!


----------



## Thorlifter (Feb 8, 2009)

Thank you, guys! Ya'll are the best.


----------



## Bernhart (Feb 9, 2009)

Been there myself, took alot of years but the kids are adults now and they see thier mother in a different light, hang in there they are very much worht it.


----------



## DerAdlerIstGelandet (Feb 9, 2009)

Good luck man! We are all standing your corner man!


----------



## Thorlifter (Mar 3, 2009)

Well, it's been about a month since I posted this. Here's the update.........

My youngest, Samantha, is bound and determined to live with me. She signed the 12 year old preference letter and stayed with me for 3 weeks. Then last tuesday, my ex calls me and says, "I have Sam". She checked her out of school early JUST so I couldn't get her. Well, I couldn't do anything about it since she is the primary parent and, technically, I was committing a felony as I was violating a child custody order. Sam has called me every day saying "Help me dad, I want to live with you. I hate mom."

I'm still working with my lawyer but this is getting bad and it's going to be expensive......money I don't have. Sam is miserable being there and my oldest won't even talk to me. Her mom has her completely brain washed.

Geez, you do the right thing for your kids and you get kicked in the nuts for it. Anyway, I'm back........just needed a bit of a break to focus. Thank you to everyone who posted here.


----------



## Catch22 (Mar 3, 2009)

Good luck!


----------



## 109ROAMING (Mar 3, 2009)

Sorry to hear it man

Hopefully your lawyer will pull through

Best of luck!

(fingers crossed)


----------



## rochie (Mar 3, 2009)

hope it all works out Thorlifter


----------



## Lucky13 (Mar 3, 2009)

You're in all our thoughts and prayers mate! Good Luck!


----------



## v2 (Mar 3, 2009)

Good luck, mate!


----------



## Freebird (Mar 3, 2009)

Thorlifter said:


> Man, I could go on and on, but it would get to the point that you would probably think I'm making it up. That one person couldn't go through all the crap that I'm dealing with right now. I mean, Hollywood couldn't make a script like this.



I feel for you man, I fell into that same "rabbit hole" of the legal system, 5 years later a $40,000 later it seems like it's right out of the Twilight Zone.

Good luck with it all.  



Crunch said:


> But also, put a little faith in the justice system. I know with every news story, and every slap on the wrist punishment, even that can get hard. But judges are very smart people. They're not just some numb-skull listening to the stories and flipping a coin.
> 
> When 'they' say something, suck it up, and then prove them wrong.



Sorry Crunch, I don't know how things are in Aus, but justice up here is a complete hash. The "smart" judge that I had wrote up his reasons, which would have failed a grade 8 essay. he couldn't remember which party was which, he made errors in noting dates places, despite it being set all in front of him in the documents. He wasn't paying attention during cross examination, and the court clerk mis-places several exibits.

The Appeals court concluded that the trial judge had made errors, and that "I would have decided the matter differently", yet in the end said "I will not reverse the ruling of my learned collegue, as it's his perogative to decide the case."


A load of BS that even Hollywood couldn't match


----------



## Vassili Zaitzev (Mar 3, 2009)

Sorry to hear that Thor, hope everything turns out for the better. Freebird, that sucks, sorry to hear that also.


----------



## wilbur1 (Mar 3, 2009)

Sorry to hear about this Thor. Chin up and knuckle down and youll pull through


----------



## Von Frag (Mar 3, 2009)

I will re-iterate what several have said already, been there a few years ago myself and at the time I was thinking a Hollywood writer couldn't come up with a script like this. Just hang tough, be ready for battle and have all of your ducks in a row when the court dates arrive and it will work out.


----------



## Njaco (Mar 3, 2009)

Stay focused and hang in there. I've been through this! Just keep your head together and it will work itself out.

My ex was unemployed and homeless (how - with me giveing her $300 a week!) and I got the kids. I filed for primary custody and we went to court. She lied and said she was living with her father. So the Judge granted her the kids , to be exchanged at his place at a certain time and date. Well, her father and I were tight and we both knew she wasn't living there. On the day of the exchange I had a police officer witness her drive up to her father's house, the kids got out of mine and into hers and she drove away. I told the officer to record it and within the next week with the officer's report and letters supporting me from HER father and sister, I was able to get them back.

Its rough but you can do it!


----------



## Ferdinand Foch (Mar 4, 2009)

Hey Thor, I'm sorry about what your going through. Hang in there though, were all here for you.


----------



## Thorlifter (Apr 7, 2009)

Well, the trial is in two days. That will either be a great day of joy or I will be filing bankruptcy just to pay for the increased child support for the next 5.5 years.

I'm so nervous I could chew through steel right now. I'm sitting here shaking I'm so nervous.

The part that pisses me off is my ex mother-in-law just called me, drunk at noon, saying how she was going to testify against me. I have so much dirt on this stupid lady it's not funny. Well, I'll let you guys know..........


----------



## Vassili Zaitzev (Apr 7, 2009)

Good luck Thor, we're all here for you. Hope you win the case.


----------



## Lucky13 (Apr 7, 2009)

I wish you all the very best of luck mate, I'm sure that it'll work just fine for you!


----------



## timshatz (Apr 7, 2009)

Thorlifter said:


> Well, the trial is in two days. That will either be a great day of joy or I will be filing bankruptcy just to pay for the increased child support for the next 5.5 years.
> 
> I'm so nervous I could chew through steel right now. I'm sitting here shaking I'm so nervous.
> 
> The part that pisses me off is my ex mother-in-law just called me, drunk at noon, saying how she was going to testify against me. I have so much dirt on this stupid lady it's not funny. Well, I'll let you guys know..........



DUDE, TAPE THAT STUFF! IT'S GOLD FOR YOUR CASE!

Every little bit helps. While it is illegal to tape someone, it isn't illegal to have the call on speaker phone, taping a message to yourself and leave it on when they call. Just make sure you start taping something else on the machine before you say hello. 

Good luck!


----------



## Thorlifter (Apr 7, 2009)

Yeah, she was nice enough to leave me a voicemail! hahahaha


----------



## sturmer (Apr 7, 2009)

letts hope you win it mate, and like timshatz said tape it give it to your lawyer or counselar (sry for the misspell) they will know what to do with it.


----------



## ToughOmbre (Apr 7, 2009)

Hang in there Thor. Hope things work out. 

TO


----------



## timshatz (Apr 7, 2009)

Thorlifter said:


> Yeah, she was nice enough to leave me a voicemail! hahahaha



Oh yeah, that's gonna go over real well with a Judge. 

"Your Honor, this voice mail was left on my client's voice mail by his ex-mother in law. It goes to our point about mental and moral fitness. Further, your Honor, what sane person is drunk at noon in April? Too early for football..."

I'm not even a lawyer and I think I can win this one.


----------



## Wayne Little (Apr 7, 2009)

Good luck Roland, hope things go well for you man!


----------



## Njaco (Apr 7, 2009)

Man, Good luck and high spirits! The courts are changing their tune the last decade or so - its not always the mother's perogative.

As far as taping, check your laws. Some states allow only one party to know they are being taped and not the other while some - like New Jersey - make it totally illegal.


----------



## RabidAlien (Apr 7, 2009)

Our prayers for ya, bro. I've always hated "the woman is right by default" mentality of the courts. Hope they let ya play your voicemail!!! Heck, if it went to voicemail, she can't argue that she didn't know it was being taped...that's what voicemail is for!!!


----------



## beaupower32 (Apr 7, 2009)

Best of luck to ya. I say everyone here at the forums show up to your court hearing and raise hell. Well, maybe not raise hell, but say how much of a kick ass guy you are. Again, best of luck to ya. Give them hell, and be sure to smile when doing it. Your in our thoughts and prayers.


----------



## Catch22 (Apr 7, 2009)

Good luck Thor!


----------



## 109ROAMING (Apr 7, 2009)

Best of luck mate! I really hear where your coming from 

Hang in there and best of luck!


----------



## mkloby (Apr 7, 2009)

Best of luck buddy...


----------



## Marcel (Apr 8, 2009)

Good luck, Thor


----------



## Gnomey (Apr 8, 2009)

Best of luck Thor.


----------



## Thorlifter (Apr 9, 2009)

********UPDATE*******

I'm back from court. Well, I won.........sort of. Right now, things are not going to change. However, next week, the courts want to interview my daughters to get things from them first hand. The courts will then make their recommendation to the judge, who will usually take their recommendation. It turns out my ex didn't tell her lawyer ALL the bad sh!t that she has been up to and it caught him completely off guard. My lawyer said he just can't see a way they will allow her to keep my youngest and as it turns out, I may end up with both of my daughters.

All in all, it's a GREAT day. Thanks again to all who said their prayers and offered well wishes.


----------



## Lucky13 (Apr 9, 2009)

GREAT NEWS man!


----------



## FLYBOYJ (Apr 9, 2009)

*GREAT NEWS! CONGRATS!!!!!!*


----------



## timshatz (Apr 9, 2009)

Congrats to you! Dumb move by your ex, hiding stuff from her lawyer. Two people you tell the truth to are your accountant and your lawyer.


----------



## Vassili Zaitzev (Apr 9, 2009)

Excellent News Thor! Congratulations, hopefully everything stays on the up and up!


----------



## sturmer (Apr 9, 2009)

congrats mate


----------



## Gnomey (Apr 9, 2009)

Congrats Thor! Good luck for next week as well, I'm sure all will be fine after today.


----------



## Messy1 (Apr 9, 2009)

I guess it just goes to show that honesty is the best policy! Congratulations!


----------



## ToughOmbre (Apr 9, 2009)

Glad to hear the positive news Thor!

So far, so good!

TO


----------



## Bucksnort101 (Apr 9, 2009)

Great news Thor.


----------



## Marcel (Apr 10, 2009)

So far so good


----------



## Catch22 (Apr 10, 2009)

Great news Thor!


----------



## mkloby (Apr 10, 2009)

good to hear it man!


----------



## GrauGeist (Apr 10, 2009)

Great news man...really!

Sadly, back when I went through all of this, there was no sympathy for the guy...all men were all evil and the woman, regardless of how bad she was, always got preferential treatment.

Hope next week goes as well, if not better, as it did today for ya'!


----------



## Wayne Little (Apr 10, 2009)

Excellent news Roland, hope next week goes as well good luck mate!


----------



## Airframes (Apr 10, 2009)

Bl**dy brilliant news mate! I echo what Dave (Grau Geist) said, as I had a similar experience, but things are looking good I think. Keeping everything crossed for you for next week.


----------



## RabidAlien (Apr 10, 2009)

Awesome!!! One hurdle down, one more to go!!!


----------



## Njaco (Apr 10, 2009)

Great news!!! Take a deep breath and smile!


----------



## Thorlifter (Apr 11, 2009)

I did Njaco, and everyone. I took the day off and my father and I spent the day at our ranch doing a little survey work for fence lines. Great to get out in the country, relax, breathe some fresh air and clear the mind.

Where I was so darn nervous about this week, I'm actually excited about next week. I will post again after the interviews.


----------



## Lucky13 (Apr 11, 2009)

Please do buddy! Keeping everything crossed here....fingers, toes, legs, eyes. Soon enough all this will be over and done with and you'll have your kids!


----------



## beaupower32 (Apr 11, 2009)

Deffently keep us up to date. Congrats on your winning and hopefully you will win again next week.


----------

