# Allow me to interoduce myself.



## Dirty Ed (Jan 9, 2006)

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I
begin?

My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium
with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a
fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father
would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he
invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being
lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the
insane lament.

My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring
we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and
beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received
my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma
ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn
scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.

Just kidding, Gent's.  

I ended up with FAA Airman Certificate 1361669, COMM SMEL INST ATP B-707,
720, 727, 747, 757, 767, and L-1011. Retired TWA L-1011 Capt. in 1987 after
30 years.

Accumulated around 20,000 hours in 7 logbooks over 34 years. No accidents or
incidents, no damage except a blown tire in a B-727 at CLE..

Suckered into landing when the runway had about 4" of standing water -
Hydroplaned, had to turn off Anti-Skid to stop. Tower never mentioned
standing water "Cleared to land TWA".


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## the lancaster kicks ass (Jan 9, 2006)

wow that's an impressive list! i'm sure you'll have allot to bring to the forum, there are several pilots here i'm sure you'll have lots of stories to share, i hope you enjoy your stay, and watch out for a guy called syscom 3, he'll try to persuade you that flying a simulator is EXACTILY the same as flying the real thing, i'm sure with your experience you can prove him wrong 

so how would you describe you knowledge of WWII aircraft?


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## FLYBOYJ (Jan 9, 2006)

Dirty Ed said:


> The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I
> begin?
> 
> My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium
> ...



WELCOME ED!!! I built L-1011s in the early 80s and worked on many of the aircraft you flew. Very very cool!


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## Gnomey (Jan 9, 2006)

Welcome to the forum Ed, I'm sure you will bring a lot to the forum, I look forward to it.


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## syscom3 (Jan 9, 2006)

the lancaster kicks ass said:


> .......and watch out for a guy called syscom 3, he'll try to persuade you that flying a simulator is EXACTILY the same as flying the real thing, ......quote]
> 
> if the simulator is sophisticated enough, it will model it with no problem.
> They do have simulators in the UK dont they?


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## sunny91 (Jan 9, 2006)

Welcome to the forum Dirty Ed.

sunny


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## Dirty Ed (Jan 9, 2006)

Thanks Gents.

I was born in NYC 1931, so my knowledge of WW11 aircraft was from my own interest in aircraft, which was an obsession with me. I was and still am a model airplane builder, and I learned most of what I know to this hobby.

The only WWII aircraft I flew was the SNJ, which I soloed 1954 at NAAS CORY FIELD.

I did have the opportunity of flying with, and drinking with, a lot of WWII Navy pilots, from whom I learned a lot about the war with Japan.

Drinking and fine cigars are also something of a hobby with me. 

I flew Connies for Aer Lingus in 1958 when I was furloughed from TWA, and I married an Irish girl I met at The Metropole, and we have 4 fine sons and 2 beautiful daughters.

http://airlines.afriqonline.com/images/px5112.jpg

God be with the days!


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## FLYBOYJ (Jan 9, 2006)

Very Cool! I'm from Staten Island, Les is from Long Island....


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## lesofprimus (Jan 9, 2006)

Yep, and we both bashed heads on the ice too.... Welcome Ed... We got a few other Old Farts around here...

And BTW, if ur from NYC, its almost an insult to post under ur avatar that ur from Jersey.... Christ, for someone like me from Long Island, I'd let u have my sisters virginity before I'd ever post that up there....

But then again, Im only 39 AND from Long Island, so we do things alitte different anyways...


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## syscom3 (Jan 9, 2006)

Wow, you flew Connies!!!


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## Dirty Ed (Jan 10, 2006)

Les, I'm ex-Long Island. Family moved from Jamaica to Franklin Square in 1939. I graduated Sewanhaka HS in 1949, Kings Point in 1953. Where on LI are you?

When I finished my last tour with the Navy, it was decision time. That tour was VR-7A at Tachikawa AFB, flying R7V's, aka C-121, aka Constellations. In Jan. 1966 I had a wife and 5 kids, the eldest was 5 years old. Hey, we had no TV in Japan.

The LI real estate market was not good. Overpriced homes, overcrowded towns. My father owned Toner Realty in East Meadow, and he knew the Island like the palm of his hand. When I showed him what I could buy in NJ, he was amazed. He told me BUY!

NJ looked real good, and it still does. I'm in Brick, Ocean Co. on the shore. All the kids are grown, and I even have a married grand daughter. 

Bed time. Zzzzzzzzz.


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## lesofprimus (Jan 10, 2006)

Look to ur left and under my avatar u'll see where Im at... I am also ex-Navy, as is FBJ... Non-Skimmer is Canadian Navy to boot...

My Dad used to work at Kings Point Merchant Marine Acadamy at the CAORF Simulator...


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## DerAdlerIstGelandet (Jan 10, 2006)

Welcome to the site Ed!


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## Pisis (Jan 10, 2006)

Welcome here, Dirty Ed!


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## Dirty Ed (Jan 10, 2006)

Les - Looks like North Shore, a few miles East of Kings Point. Good area for gliders under the proper conditions.


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## Nonskimmer (Jan 10, 2006)

Yo, Ed.


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## evangilder (Jan 13, 2006)

Welcome aboard, Ed. Impressive number of hours logged!


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## DerAdlerIstGelandet (Jan 14, 2006)

Very impressive. I thought my 1500 hours crew time was impressive and then I read that. Puts me to shame.


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