For those of you who dont know, a haggis is a small animal native to Scotland. Well it is actually a bird with vestigial wings - like the ostrich. Because the habitat of the haggis is exclusively mountainous, and because it is always found on the sides of mountains, it has evolved a rather strange gait. The poor thing has only three legs, and each leg is a different length, so it can circle steep mountainsides at speed. The result of this is that when hunting haggis, you must get them on to a flat plain - then they are very easy to catch - they can only run round in circles. These strange circles of flattened grass / crops etc, have over the years been mistakenly identified as sinister UFO landing sites, much the merryment of the Haggis Hunter who does nothing to dispel the myth !.
FRESH WATER HAGGIS
A little known fact about the haggis is its aquatic ability - you would think that with three legs of differing lengths, the poor wee beastie wouldn't be very good at swimming, but as some of the Scottish hillsides have rather spectacular lakes on them, over the years, the haggis has learned to swim very well. When in water:
It uses its wings to propel itself forward
It can do at a very reasonable speed
It can't hold its breath for very long
Is very playful
When swimming, haggis very often swim in a group - a bit like ducks - where the mother will swim ahead, and the youngsters follow line abreast. This is a very interesting phenomenon to watch, the long neck of the mother keeping a watchful eye for predators.
This does however confuse some people, who, not knowing about the haggis, can confuse it with the other great indigenous Scottish inhabitant, the Loch Ness Monster. From a distance the tourist can easily mistake a family of haggis out for their daily swim, as Nessie, this of course gives rise to many more false sightings, but is inherently very good for the tourist industry in Scotland.
Apparently a few days before giving birth the female Haggis starts emitting a very loud droning noise. This noise is loud and scary enough to drive all wildlife within a five mile radius, clear away, while giving any Haggis in earshot, an open invite to come and help with the actual birth.
The Scots, being canny people...apparently... invented a medievel aural torture device called bagpipes. The bagpipes not only mimics the Haggis call (a horrible, tone deaf wailing noise that is acutely uncomfortable to any humans within earshot), it is also modelled on the very rare and exceptionaly poisonous hillside spider, the Hagider, which is part of the diet of the Haggis.... to such good effect that bagpipes have been used to hunt these poor creatures to great effect.
So now you know !