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- #441
Njaco
The Pop-Tart Whisperer
It took me a year and a half but I finally made it to the 'Brown Willie' for my meeting. I had left Dixie at the office to look over the strange collection of junk that was showing up at my door. She wasn't happy but eventually went off to play with the left-over food that was starting to grow into something from a John Carpenter movie. I didn't care. I was bugged that someone had my number and was punking me! Pis og papir! Besides, Dixie was starting to hurt my eyes.
I finally found the 'Brown Willie' in a dark, dank, nondescript alley between a Wal-Mart and a Dairy Queen. The street light was encrusted with the remains of bugs past and cast a sick brown glow across the concrete. I think it was concrete. There was so much trash and garbage, I almost couldn't see the ground. I expected a naked Arnold to show up in a flash of lightning at any moment. A mumble and a moan issued from a debris pile along a long wall and my hand grasped the handle of the Desert Eagle that Dixie had given me and I had stuffed in my beltline. The trash pile started to move and slowly rose to a sitting position. It was a displaced republican smelling of moldy onions and burning human hair. I asked where the pub was and he directed me further down the wall to a thin door cut into the facade. There was a small sign next to the opening that read "BW". In smaller lettering underneath, it read "Ear Enemas 3 doors down". Paint was peeling off the wood as I slowly pushed the door open.
Inside I walked into a purple painted vestibule with chocolate trim. There was a podium and a chair stained in a deep brown. A familiar shade of brown. A girl behind the podium smiled and welcomed me to the Brown Willie.
"I have an appointment. " I said and gave her my name. She handed me a piece of black cloth.
"And here are your shades." she said. She had about as much class as a lawn flamingo.
"What the hell are these for?" I asked, getting ready for the inevitable suspension of reality.
"You have to wear it. We're a blind restaurant." she snickered.
"A what?!" I spurtted. I suddenly had an urge to lake a teak.
"A blind restuarant. All our employees are blind and so in order for people to experience what it is like to be blind, our restuarant has no lights and is completely dark. In order to truly understand what blind folk go through we also require you to wear an eye shade. No worries, sir, we guarantee you will enjoy the food and the atmosphere."
No wonder whoever it was testing my patience selected this dump as a meeting place. I wouldn't be able to see him! Rend mig i røven! "Lets get this over with!" I thought to myself as I placed the shade over my eyes and waved her onward. She grabbed my hand and we entered the darkened chamber with me mumbling gå agurk to myself.
I finally found the 'Brown Willie' in a dark, dank, nondescript alley between a Wal-Mart and a Dairy Queen. The street light was encrusted with the remains of bugs past and cast a sick brown glow across the concrete. I think it was concrete. There was so much trash and garbage, I almost couldn't see the ground. I expected a naked Arnold to show up in a flash of lightning at any moment. A mumble and a moan issued from a debris pile along a long wall and my hand grasped the handle of the Desert Eagle that Dixie had given me and I had stuffed in my beltline. The trash pile started to move and slowly rose to a sitting position. It was a displaced republican smelling of moldy onions and burning human hair. I asked where the pub was and he directed me further down the wall to a thin door cut into the facade. There was a small sign next to the opening that read "BW". In smaller lettering underneath, it read "Ear Enemas 3 doors down". Paint was peeling off the wood as I slowly pushed the door open.
Inside I walked into a purple painted vestibule with chocolate trim. There was a podium and a chair stained in a deep brown. A familiar shade of brown. A girl behind the podium smiled and welcomed me to the Brown Willie.
"I have an appointment. " I said and gave her my name. She handed me a piece of black cloth.
"And here are your shades." she said. She had about as much class as a lawn flamingo.
"What the hell are these for?" I asked, getting ready for the inevitable suspension of reality.
"You have to wear it. We're a blind restaurant." she snickered.
"A what?!" I spurtted. I suddenly had an urge to lake a teak.
"A blind restuarant. All our employees are blind and so in order for people to experience what it is like to be blind, our restuarant has no lights and is completely dark. In order to truly understand what blind folk go through we also require you to wear an eye shade. No worries, sir, we guarantee you will enjoy the food and the atmosphere."
No wonder whoever it was testing my patience selected this dump as a meeting place. I wouldn't be able to see him! Rend mig i røven! "Lets get this over with!" I thought to myself as I placed the shade over my eyes and waved her onward. She grabbed my hand and we entered the darkened chamber with me mumbling gå agurk to myself.
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