Quokes/Jotes... Continued! 2!

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Murphy calls in to see his mate Paddy, who has a broken leg.

Paddy says, "Me feet are freezin', mate, could you nip upstairs and get me slippers?"

"No bother" says Murphy. He runs upstairs, and there are Paddy's two stunning 19-year-old twin daughters sat on their beds.

"Hello dere, girls. Your Da's sent me up here to shag ye both."

"Fook off, you liar!"

"I'll prove it" says Murphy. So he shouts down the stairs:

"Both of them, Paddy?"

"Of course! What's the use of fookin' one?"
 
To my darling husband

Before you return from your overseas trip I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the pick up truck when I turned into the driveway. Fortunately not too bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me.

I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake. The garage door is slightly bent but the pick up fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your car.

Honey, I am soooooo sorry but I know being the angel that you are you will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweet heart. I can't wait to hold you in my arms again.

Your loving wife

XOXOX
 

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