evangilder
"Shooter"
This may have been posted before, but I still love this one:
Subject: THE U S NAVY'S RETIREMENT PLAN?
The US Navy found that they had too many officers and decided to offer an
early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for
retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line
between any two parts of his body. The officer got to choose what those two
points would be.
The first officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top of
his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out
with a bonus of $72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be
measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out
with $96,000.
The third one was a grisly old Chief Warrant Officer who, when asked where
he would like to be measured replied, "from the tip of my weenie to my
testicles."
It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider,
explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received
But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him, providing
the measurement was taken by a medical officer.
The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to "drop 'em," which he
did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's
weenie and began to work back.
My God!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"
The old Chief Warrant calmly replied . . "Vietnam."
Subject: THE U S NAVY'S RETIREMENT PLAN?
The US Navy found that they had too many officers and decided to offer an
early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for
retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line
between any two parts of his body. The officer got to choose what those two
points would be.
The first officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top of
his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out
with a bonus of $72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be
measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out
with $96,000.
The third one was a grisly old Chief Warrant Officer who, when asked where
he would like to be measured replied, "from the tip of my weenie to my
testicles."
It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider,
explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received
But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him, providing
the measurement was taken by a medical officer.
The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to "drop 'em," which he
did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's
weenie and began to work back.
My God!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"
The old Chief Warrant calmly replied . . "Vietnam."