Quotes and Jokes 1 (71 Viewers)
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syscom3
Pacific Historian
MIflyer
Major
Airframes
Benevolens Magister
Or "You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off !"
(I've been waiting years to use that quote from the original "Italian Job" movie !!)
(I've been waiting years to use that quote from the original "Italian Job" movie !!)
buffnut453
Captain
I've got a date with a lady who self-identifies as a wheelie bin
…but I can't remember if I'm taking her out on Tuesday or Wednesday
…but I can't remember if I'm taking her out on Tuesday or Wednesday
special ed
1st Lieutenant
- 7,138
- May 13, 2018
special ed
1st Lieutenant
- 7,138
- May 13, 2018
Known as the portal to hell
special ed
1st Lieutenant
- 7,138
- May 13, 2018
special ed
1st Lieutenant
- 7,138
- May 13, 2018
Greg Boeser
1st Lieutenant
Was Monday a holiday?
MIflyer
Major
Back in the early 90's a geologist did some analyses that showed the Sphinx was thousands of years older than the 2500 BC the archeologists claimed, and they were thoroughly P.Oed at him for daring to point that out.
manta22
Banned
Vic Balshaw
Major General
Hell of a pizza oven!
buffnut453
Captain
An eminent English doctor is visiting an Edinburgh hospital. He enters a ward full of patients with no obvious sign of injury or illness
He asks the first patient how he feels. The patient replies:
"Fair fa your honest sonsie face, Great chieftain o the puddin race, Aboon them a ye take yer place, Painch, tripe or thairm, As langs my airm."
The Englishman is confused, so he just smiles and moves on to the next patient and asks the same question.
The patient responds:
"Some hae meat an canna eat, And some wad eat that want it, But we hae meat an we can eat, So let the Lord be thankit."
Even more confused, the eminent doctor moves on to the next patient, who immediately begins to chant:
"Wee sleekit, cowerin, timrous beasty, O the panic in thy breasty, Thou needna start awa sae hastie, Wi bickering brattle."
Now seriously troubled, the eminent doctor turns to the guide and asks, "Is this a psychiatric ward?"
"Nay," replies the doctor, "This is the serious Burns unit."
Don't worry....I'm leaving!
He asks the first patient how he feels. The patient replies:
"Fair fa your honest sonsie face, Great chieftain o the puddin race, Aboon them a ye take yer place, Painch, tripe or thairm, As langs my airm."
The Englishman is confused, so he just smiles and moves on to the next patient and asks the same question.
The patient responds:
"Some hae meat an canna eat, And some wad eat that want it, But we hae meat an we can eat, So let the Lord be thankit."
Even more confused, the eminent doctor moves on to the next patient, who immediately begins to chant:
"Wee sleekit, cowerin, timrous beasty, O the panic in thy breasty, Thou needna start awa sae hastie, Wi bickering brattle."
Now seriously troubled, the eminent doctor turns to the guide and asks, "Is this a psychiatric ward?"
"Nay," replies the doctor, "This is the serious Burns unit."
Don't worry....I'm leaving!
Forget it. She obviously only puts out once a week.
MiTasol
Major
You have read of the orcas in the entrance to the Med who are attacking boats rudders and now there is this
The authors of Planet of the Apes got it wrong - should have been Planet of the sea critters
The authors of Planet of the Apes got it wrong - should have been Planet of the sea critters
Elvis
1st Sergeant
In the old days, someone would've crafted a large glass ash tray to stick in that depression in the brake rotor, and you'd have to have emptied it nightly.
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