Quotes and Jokes 1 (114 Viewers)
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Airframes
Benevolens Magister
Why do Firefighters have bigger balls than Police Officers ?
Because they sell more tickets ...................
Because they sell more tickets ...................
-I think he lives in my neighborhood. He has my wife well trained...
at6
1st Sergeant
You can actually train a woman? I thought it was the other way around.
Greg Boeser
1st Lieutenant
It's a cat thing.
Clever what you did there - lowering the centre of gravity...
special ed
1st Lieutenant
- 7,138
- May 13, 2018
Warning!
Golf joke:
Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course."
Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."
Golf joke:
Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course."
Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."
SaparotRob
Unter Gemeine Geschwader Murmeltier XIII
Why is it I hate golf but love golf jokes?
special ed
1st Lieutenant
- 7,138
- May 13, 2018
Many years ago one of my accounts go to man was about to retire. As merely to make conversation, I said, "I guess you will have time to play golf." His response was, "Let me tell you about my experience with golf. When I was 14 my father wanted to interest me in some kind of sports. He set me up with a neighbor early one Saturday morning to caddy for him. We get to the course, tee off and he says " Well, come on" and I say, where. He says after the ball. I said, I'll wait in the car."
IFollowRoads
Recruit
- 9
- Feb 9, 2016
This story is from Jeff Murray who flew as my co-pilot before he was promoted to Aircraft Commander. It was originally published in the 281st AHC Newsletter.
It's September 1969 and I'm sitting in our temporary compound outside a Special Forces camp at Mai Loc, a few miles west of Quang Tri, South Vietnam. We were there supporting Project Delta as they recon'd far northern I Corps.
When a mortar lands somewhere near the wire, I beat feet for the nearest bunker and land in a hole next to my platoon leader who asks "Why are you here?" "Taking cover" was my educated reply. "You're the standby pilot" he replies. "Oh." So I beat feet for the aircraft, a UH-1C gunship assigned to my unit, the 281st Assault Helicopter Company.
The problem is I am in my underwear and flip-flops, my recently washed Nomex flight suit is hanging on a tent rope somewhere not near me. Not to worry though, I arrive at the aircraft, jump in and here comes the crew. A co-pilot dressed appropriately, a gunner without a shirt and a crew chief draped in a towel and flip-flops himself, as he came from the outdoor shower. We launched, we found nothing to shoot at but we had to go to Quang Tri to refuel.
Following protocol I jumped out and manned the portable fire extinguisher while the crew chief and gunner refueled us, it was a bit different looking as the crew chief's towel stayed inside the aircraft so it wouldn't blow off and maybe foul a control or two.
While standing there doing my duty as fire guard someone walked up behind me and tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around and there stood a Marine Major in starched fatigues and shiny boots carrying a clipboard. "What do you think you are doing?" I believe I remember him asking.
Well, I was almost 11 months into my tour and feeling short but he was a Major and I was a lowly Warrant Officer 1 dressed in OD green boxer shorts and a matching t-shirt with my helmet on and my visor down so in my best military manner I answered him: "We're putting fuel in the helicopter sir." I thought that was a proper answer and it must have been because he stared at me for a few seconds and did a rather smart about face and walked off. And as he walked away, I heard him mutter "F-ing Army." I think that was a compliment!
It's September 1969 and I'm sitting in our temporary compound outside a Special Forces camp at Mai Loc, a few miles west of Quang Tri, South Vietnam. We were there supporting Project Delta as they recon'd far northern I Corps.
When a mortar lands somewhere near the wire, I beat feet for the nearest bunker and land in a hole next to my platoon leader who asks "Why are you here?" "Taking cover" was my educated reply. "You're the standby pilot" he replies. "Oh." So I beat feet for the aircraft, a UH-1C gunship assigned to my unit, the 281st Assault Helicopter Company.
The problem is I am in my underwear and flip-flops, my recently washed Nomex flight suit is hanging on a tent rope somewhere not near me. Not to worry though, I arrive at the aircraft, jump in and here comes the crew. A co-pilot dressed appropriately, a gunner without a shirt and a crew chief draped in a towel and flip-flops himself, as he came from the outdoor shower. We launched, we found nothing to shoot at but we had to go to Quang Tri to refuel.
Following protocol I jumped out and manned the portable fire extinguisher while the crew chief and gunner refueled us, it was a bit different looking as the crew chief's towel stayed inside the aircraft so it wouldn't blow off and maybe foul a control or two.
While standing there doing my duty as fire guard someone walked up behind me and tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around and there stood a Marine Major in starched fatigues and shiny boots carrying a clipboard. "What do you think you are doing?" I believe I remember him asking.
Well, I was almost 11 months into my tour and feeling short but he was a Major and I was a lowly Warrant Officer 1 dressed in OD green boxer shorts and a matching t-shirt with my helmet on and my visor down so in my best military manner I answered him: "We're putting fuel in the helicopter sir." I thought that was a proper answer and it must have been because he stared at me for a few seconds and did a rather smart about face and walked off. And as he walked away, I heard him mutter "F-ing Army." I think that was a compliment!
Greg Boeser
1st Lieutenant
Love it!
special ed
1st Lieutenant
- 7,138
- May 13, 2018
Just for interest sake did anyone know that if you reverse the year 2019 you get 9102.
Then if you take the 9 off the front you get 102.
Then if you then if you halve the 102 and divide the 9 by three you get 51 and 3.
Add these together and you get 54.
It doesn't mean anything at all but thanks for reading anyway.
Then if you take the 9 off the front you get 102.
Then if you then if you halve the 102 and divide the 9 by three you get 51 and 3.
Add these together and you get 54.
It doesn't mean anything at all but thanks for reading anyway.
Lucky13
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Lucky13
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