Quotes and Jokes 1 (95 Viewers)
- Thread starter v2
- Start date
- Status
special ed
1st Lieutenant
- 7,138
- May 13, 2018
special ed
1st Lieutenant
- 7,138
- May 13, 2018
special ed
1st Lieutenant
- 7,138
- May 13, 2018
Snautzer01
Marshal
- 46,292
- Mar 26, 2007
Now thats a dad joke..
Greg Boeser
1st Lieutenant
Reminds me of the guy, who found a genie in a bottle.
The genie said to him, "Master, I can grant you three wishes. But choose wisely. Whatever you wish, your most hated enemy will get double."
"OK," said the man, "how about giving me the winning ticket for the lottery?"
"Your wish is my command," said the genie. He reached into his vest and handed the man the ticket. "Your nemesis has two of the same ticket."
The man winced. Thinking hard, he said, "OK, genie, I want a million dollar house next to a championship golf course, and a Playboy bunny for a wife!"
"Granted!" said the genie. "You will notice the two million dollar home across the fairway belongs to your arch-rival, and he's shacking up with Miss November and her twin sister."
The man was clearly infuriated by this.
He sat down, muttering under his breath about his dumb luck for finding such a useless genie. Suddenly, he leapt to his feet. "Genie!" He yelled. "I want you to beat me half to death!"
The genie said to him, "Master, I can grant you three wishes. But choose wisely. Whatever you wish, your most hated enemy will get double."
"OK," said the man, "how about giving me the winning ticket for the lottery?"
"Your wish is my command," said the genie. He reached into his vest and handed the man the ticket. "Your nemesis has two of the same ticket."
The man winced. Thinking hard, he said, "OK, genie, I want a million dollar house next to a championship golf course, and a Playboy bunny for a wife!"
"Granted!" said the genie. "You will notice the two million dollar home across the fairway belongs to your arch-rival, and he's shacking up with Miss November and her twin sister."
The man was clearly infuriated by this.
He sat down, muttering under his breath about his dumb luck for finding such a useless genie. Suddenly, he leapt to his feet. "Genie!" He yelled. "I want you to beat me half to death!"
special ed
1st Lieutenant
- 7,138
- May 13, 2018
Some cats for those of us owned by cats:
Snautzer01
Marshal
- 46,292
- Mar 26, 2007
Must be a German cat named Adolf
MIflyer
Major
Somehow, I'm not surprised....
MIflyer
Major
Need tighter pants.
MIflyer
Major
Heartwarming! But was it closed captioned?
MIflyer
Major
I wish I could get paid to do studies like this.
MIflyer
Major
The fascinating world of forensics. Reminds me of the errant V-2 they fired from White Sands that hit a graveyard in Mexico. They are still finding bodies from that mishap.
Last edited:
Yes. Then the museum staff grab you, wrap you in bandages and try to put you back in the sarcophagus.
- Status
