Beware of Anubis.
Quotes and Jokes (1 Viewer)
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Beware of Anubis.
MIflyer
1st Lieutenant
Not to belittle that dog's lawn maintenance skills, but based on that short video clip, this Gary Larson cartoon seems to have been pretty accurate. However, I have a pretty big yard and if my dog could do as well I would have no complaints.
A hunter goes to the forest. He sees a bear and fires at it, but misses. The bear is nowhere to be seen.
Suddenly the bear taps him on his shoulder and says, "You tried to kill me, either I'll kill you or pull down your trousers and let me fuck you". The man chose life.
He goes home embarrassed, buys a bigger gun and goes back to hunt the bear. He sees it at a distance, fires, misses, the bear disappears in the thick brush only to pop up behind him a little later. The bear recognizes the hunter and says, "You know the choices."
The hunter, after being fucked again, brings a bazooka to get over his humiliation. He finds the bear, fires and falls back due to recoil. The smoke clears and the bear is standing over him, rubbing it's chin. "You don't come here for hunting, do you?"
Suddenly the bear taps him on his shoulder and says, "You tried to kill me, either I'll kill you or pull down your trousers and let me fuck you". The man chose life.
He goes home embarrassed, buys a bigger gun and goes back to hunt the bear. He sees it at a distance, fires, misses, the bear disappears in the thick brush only to pop up behind him a little later. The bear recognizes the hunter and says, "You know the choices."
The hunter, after being fucked again, brings a bazooka to get over his humiliation. He finds the bear, fires and falls back due to recoil. The smoke clears and the bear is standing over him, rubbing it's chin. "You don't come here for hunting, do you?"
Can we please try and be a bit more family friendly in our use of profanity. The joke is fine though. I laughed. 
special ed
1st Sergeant
- 5,198
- May 13, 2018
special ed
1st Sergeant
- 5,198
- May 13, 2018
special ed
1st Sergeant
- 5,198
- May 13, 2018
MIflyer
1st Lieutenant
Not only that, but bazookas have no recoil.
SaparotRob
Unter Gemeine Geschwader Murmeltier XIII
My wife commented that in times of crisis everyone in the world stocks up on food and Americans stock up on toilet paper.
Greg Boeser
1st Sergeant
You stand behind one then!
That would actually be rear coil.
MIflyer
1st Lieutenant
That's not recoil. That's back blast. If you are knocked down by the back blast of a bazooka you are firing you have made a mistake equivalent to cutting your butt on a can's pop top.
Greg Boeser
1st Sergeant
Did you see the video of the guys firing a recoilless rifle from an apartment building?
SaparotRob
Unter Gemeine Geschwader Murmeltier XIII
Did you see the video of the Russian mil-blogger firing a Stinger or an NLAW? It is quite hilarious.
MiTasol
1st Lieutenant
Wish I could train mine to do that but Labrador Mastiff crosses only move to where they can get their head scratched or where there is food.
Their size does keep away unwanted visitors tho
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MiTasol
1st Lieutenant
I have seen nationals jump off a moving truck to grab a mommet that was beside the road for food.
A mommet is a marsupial rat
MiTasol
1st Lieutenant
No but I have seen multiple youtube videos of morons shooting thru their own windscreens while driving down the road.
Greg Boeser
1st Sergeant
Explain that to your insurance company!
MIflyer
1st Lieutenant
In the years before the Chinese Wuflu struck, I would get 30% off coupons for CVS. I'd go by there and if I did not see anything else I wanted I would buy a package of toilet paper or paper towels, for $5.00, at 30% off. I had no problem with running out of TP. I still do that. I probably have more than a year's supply on hand right now.
