Quotes and Jokes (8 Viewers)

[MIflyer]

No comment.

 

[MIflyer]

Okay, use rubber gloves BOTH in the elevator and when going to McD's. And a clear plastic laundry bag would be a useful garment for children who insist on playing in the ball pit.

 

[MIflyer]

Bureaucrats Ruin Everything!

 

[Snautzer01]

Read it.

 

[SaparotRob]

 

[Gnomey]

 

[MiTasol]

Husband: "How was the drive home today?"

Wife: "It was a bit scary; I almost missed the exit."

 

[pbehn]

Husband: "How was the drive home today?"

Wife: "It was a bit scary; I almost missed the exit."

The exits on the Paris "peripherique" are like that. One day a car went into the exit, then back on the carriageway, then into the exit and back on the carriageway then just slammed into the divider which is a steel pipe sunk into concrete. Luckily they were slowing down all the time so the final collision was just plain comical.

 

[buffnut453]

Husband: "How was the drive home today?"

Wife: "It was a bit scary; I almost missed the exit."

I really shouldn't laugh at that. What an atrocious piece of driving. It's astounding to me that the white car simply drove off at the end having caused all that chaos and mayhem.

I'll bet at least 2 truck drivers were using some choice language.

 

[manta22]

Husband: "How was the drive home today?"

Wife: "It was a bit scary; I almost missed the exit."

I hope the police were able to read her license plate!

 

[pbehn]

I hope the police were able to read her license plate!

Only the joke caption says its a female driver.

 

[don4331]

The exits on the Paris "peripherique" are like that. One day a car went into the exit, then back on the carriageway, then into the exit and back on the carriageway then just slammed into the divider which is a steel pipe sunk into concrete. Luckily they were slowing down all the time so the final collision was just plain comical.

I was in Paris and one of the locals was taking us back to the hotel on the "peripherique". A motorcycle came blitzing up beside us, hesitated for a moment, then decided he could pass the next car ahead before his exit.

Unfortunately, he cut it too late, he missed the exit but tried jumping the curb. And he might have made it if he didn't run straight into the light post.

It was a long, cold night, waiting for police/ambulance, filling out accident reports.

 

[Shortround6]

Husband: "How was the drive home today?"

Wife: "It was a bit scary; I almost missed the exit."

Just another day in Orlando traffic

 

[Elvis]

Husband: "How was the drive home today?"

Wife: "It was a bit scary; I almost missed the exit."

I can almost hear Steve Urkel saying, "Did I do that?"

 

[Greg Boeser]

I can almost hear Steve Urkel saying, "Did I do that?"

I almost got rear-ended by a truck!

 

[MiTasol]

Husband: "How was the drive home today?"

Wife: "It was a bit scary; I almost missed the exit."

And a few minutes ago we saw an idiot of that ilk today.

On a scooter he/she shot across three lanes (two his side and one facing that I was in) without looking at the string of cars all doing 60 approaching from close behind. How the hell nobody hit him or the vehicle in front of them is beyond me. At least my side of the road had no other traffic or there would certainly have been broken glass and plastic everywhere.

 

[Frog]

If you can be sentenced without a reasonable doubt, you should be acquitted thanks to a foolish doubt.

 

[MIflyer]

And I think we should all yell "NOT A SQUIRREL!" every time we go in a public library.

 

[MIflyer]

Wife: "It was a bit scary; I almost missed the exit."

One day around 1976 I was on the short stretch of Interstate where I-35 and I-40 are the same road. In the far Right lane there was an old rusty pickup truck moving along at maybe 50 mph. Then a guy in a car in the next lane over to the Left realized that he was passing his exit and made a U-turn around the pickup, coming within no more than a foot of it, and then S- turned down the exit. The Thunderbirds would have been green with envy. Hollywood would have practiced it for a week and probably wrecked half a dozen cars (note that the Dukes of Hazard used up 80 General Lee clones). But those two guys made it in one take.

 

[Snowman]

Good ol' days