Quotes and Jokes (1 Viewer)

[Greg Boeser]

8 billion-year-old radio signal reaches Earth

Astronomers have detected one of the most distant and energetic mysterious fast radio bursts in space, a millisecond-long blast of radio waves that traveled 8 billion years to reach Earth.

news.yahoo.com

Scientists ran it through an AI computer to decipher it.
Here's what it said:
"Hello. We are calling to let you know that your car's warranty is about to expire..."

 

[MIflyer]

Are the sign posters 'cautioning tomatoes', telling the reader to 'caution the tomatoes over there', or warning the reader that "there are tomatoes over there'?

Perhaps the most reasonable explanation is that there are angry people in that direction, armed with tomatoes, and prepared to use them to express their outrage at bad poetry or a poor presentation of Hamlet or some such. As to why this would be such a common occurrence as to warrant a street sign along the same lines as "Slippery when Wet" or "Bridge Ices Before Road", I have no idea. I don't like uncooked raw tomatoes anyway.

 

[Lucky13]

Perhaps the most reasonable explanation is that there are angry people in that direction, armed with tomatoes, and prepared to use them to express their outrage at bad poetry or a poor presentation of Hamlet or some such. As to why this would be such a common occurrence as to warrant a street sign along the same lines as "Slippery when Wet" or "Bridge Ices Before Road", I have no idea. I don't like uncooked raw tomatoes anyway.

View attachment 742547

....they forgot "no "man" buns"!

 

[Elvis]

 

[Wurger]

 

[Greg Boeser]

View attachment 742625

That's heavy, man.

 

[Lucky13]

That's heavy, man.

That's another way to hammer it home!

 

[CAC Woomera]

 

[Wurger]

Your age is just a number. This is completely meaningless unless you are a bottle of wine.

 

[Gnomey]

 

[Elvis]

That's heavy, man.

That's another way to hammer it home!

You guys need to look just a tad lower in that pic, to see the joke.

 

[Greg Boeser]

You guys need to look just a tad lower in that pic, to see the joke.

I refuse to get sucked into that one!

 

[MiTasol]

you definitely do not want to end up sucked in like this

 

[MIflyer]

"Hello. We are calling to let you know that your car's warranty is about to expire..."

That was the second one. The first one was from a Romulan Prince who would provide several tons of gold if you would give him some money so he could dig it up in Mojave Desert.

 

[buffnut453]

Let's de-pluralize movie titles. I'll go first:

Jaw

Goonie

Crow on the Orient Express

 

[MIflyer]

you definitely do not want to end up sucked in like this

Back in the 70's a friend of mine told me his cousin was an airline pilot and he had walked into the pilot's lounge at Tulsa to find a clearly dejected pilot friend of his sitting with his head in his hands. When asked why he looked sad the pilot replied, "They cancelled my flight. I fired up number one and everything was fine. I fired up number two and everything was fine. I fired up number three and everything was fine. Then I fired up number four and they had parked the food service truck too close and it sucked up 167 chicken salad sandwiches."

 

[Greg Boeser]

Back in the 70's a friend of mine told me his cousin was an airline pilot and he had walked into the pilot's lounge at Tulsa to find a clearly dejected pilot friend of his sitting with his head in his hands. When asked why he looked sad the pilot replied, "They cancelled my flight. I fired up number one and everything was fine. I fired up number two and everything was fine. I fired up number three and everything was fine. Then I fired up number four and they had parked the food service truck too close and it sucked up 167 chicken salad sandwiches."

Does that count as a bird strike?

 

[MiTasol]

 

[MiTasol]

 

[MiTasol]

I was going to post another frame from that ancient powerpoint and then decided to get smart about it. THEN I found cannot post powerpoint presentations so here is a PDF of it. Some good - some not so.