For 3/17:
Paddy was out walking one fine evening when a brand new Mercedes drives up. Paddy turns and recognizes the driver and says: "Well top of the evening to you Mick, that's a fine set of wheels you got there, how did you come by it?"
Mick turns an says: "Well Paddy it's a long story."
Paddy says: "Well I've go time tell me."
Mick replies: "Sue came by my house a while back and asked if I wanted to go for a ride in her new car so I said 'You Bet!'
Paddy replied: "That sounds about right. You and Sue has always had a thing for you.
Mick continued: "Well I got in and Sue started driving through the country until she came to a turn off. It was a dirt country road and she followed it for a while until she came to a patch of woods. She pulled in a ways and stopped the car. Then she gets out and takes off all her clothes, opens her arms, looks at me and says: 'Mick take whatever you want'
So I took the car!"
"You're a smart man" says Paddy
Them clothes would never have fitted you"