Snautzer01
Honourably banned
- 43,081
- Mar 26, 2007
Quotes and Jokes
- Thread starter v2
- Start date
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cammerjeff
Staff Sergeant
I like it, but I think it could be improved by changing the last line to
It gives them time to refract.
MIflyer
1st Lieutenant
Danny Thomas:
"My uncle was the most healthy man I have ever known. He never went to the doctor and was never sick a day of his life. I don't know what he died of but I can guarantee you it wasn't anything serious."
Greg Boeser
2nd Lieutenant
I HATE when that happens!
Or the pen hiding in the pocket.
Or the pen hiding in the pocket.
MIflyer
1st Lieutenant
I could have sworn that Man Learned To Swear shortly after they introduced socket wrenches.
1. Where the @##$%$%* is the 11/16?!?
2. Where is the @#$%^&* ratchet I just put down RIGHT HERE!?!
3. OW! The @#$%^&* thing SLIPPED!!!!
4. Who the @#$%%^&* put the Metrics in with the SAE?!?!
5. I am going to have to grind the @#$%^&* half inch down to fit the cylinder head!!!!
1. Where the @##$%$%* is the 11/16?!?
2. Where is the @#$%^&* ratchet I just put down RIGHT HERE!?!
3. OW! The @#$%^&* thing SLIPPED!!!!
4. Who the @#$%%^&* put the Metrics in with the SAE?!?!
5. I am going to have to grind the @#$%^&* half inch down to fit the cylinder head!!!!
The distinction of ancient nobility.
Letter from Elisabeth-Charlotte of Bavaria, sister in law of king Louis XIV to her aunt, Sophie of Bohemia, Princess Electress of Hanover october 9, 1694 :
"...You're happy to take a shit whenever you want, so take a shit as long as you can. We are not the same here, where I am obliged to keep my turd for the evening ; there is no rubbing at the houses on the forest side..."
Reply from her aunt october 31, 1694:
" ...It is a pleasant reasoning of shit that you do on the subject of shit, and it seems well that you know little about pleasures, since you ignore the one that there is to shit; it is the greatest of your misfortunes... "
Letter from Elisabeth-Charlotte of Bavaria, sister in law of king Louis XIV to her aunt, Sophie of Bohemia, Princess Electress of Hanover october 9, 1694 :
"...You're happy to take a shit whenever you want, so take a shit as long as you can. We are not the same here, where I am obliged to keep my turd for the evening ; there is no rubbing at the houses on the forest side..."
Reply from her aunt october 31, 1694:
" ...It is a pleasant reasoning of shit that you do on the subject of shit, and it seems well that you know little about pleasures, since you ignore the one that there is to shit; it is the greatest of your misfortunes... "
MIflyer
1st Lieutenant
Well, do they AT LEAST have girls doing the oil changes?
special ed
2nd Lieutenant
- 5,680
- May 13, 2018
Greg Boeser
2nd Lieutenant
I always wanted to open an all female barber shop called Quickies.
"When you just need a little trim"
MIflyer
1st Lieutenant
I have not been in anything but all female barbershops for well over 10 years.
In fact, the last male barber that cut my hair in an otherwise female barbershop asked me, "Touch up your highlights?" I managed not to laugh as I told him that those blonde streaks were all natural.
Peter Gunn
Master Sergeant
Lucky you, my natural blonde streaks are gray...
MIflyer
1st Lieutenant
Heh. My Dad was a mechanic that had his own shop. For a while we had a 1950's car of some kind that had no back seat installed. I brought along a small wooden chair to sit on. Why did it not have a back seat installed? My guess is: Ever see the movie "Thunder Road" with Robert Mitchum?
Back in the mid-70's a friend of mine drove a 1960 Ford Econoline van that he bought from a laundry. It had been used as a delivery van and had no seats except for the driver's. I either sat on the floor on the Right side or on the housing for the engine.
To think: Today I would not ride in a car that had seats but no seat belts.
Back in the mid-70's a friend of mine drove a 1960 Ford Econoline van that he bought from a laundry. It had been used as a delivery van and had no seats except for the driver's. I either sat on the floor on the Right side or on the housing for the engine.
To think: Today I would not ride in a car that had seats but no seat belts.
In the end of the 70s we were was on holiday in some rental in a Dordogne village. We had ordered pies from the baker and he brought me back in his antic Peugeot J9 van withour passenger seat. I was seating on the spare wheel.
