Quotes and Jokes

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I could have sworn that Man Learned To Swear shortly after they introduced socket wrenches.

1. Where the @##$%$%* is the 11/16?!?
2. Where is the @#$%^&* ratchet I just put down RIGHT HERE!?!
3. OW! The @#$%^&* thing SLIPPED!!!!
4. Who the @#$%%^&* put the Metrics in with the SAE?!?!
5. I am going to have to grind the @#$%^&* half inch down to fit the cylinder head!!!!
 
The distinction of ancient nobility.

Letter from Elisabeth-Charlotte of Bavaria, sister in law of king Louis XIV to her aunt, Sophie of Bohemia, Princess Electress of Hanover october 9, 1694 :
"...You're happy to take a shit whenever you want, so take a shit as long as you can. We are not the same here, where I am obliged to keep my turd for the evening ; there is no rubbing at the houses on the forest side..."

Reply from her aunt october 31, 1694:
" ...It is a pleasant reasoning of shit that you do on the subject of shit, and it seems well that you know little about pleasures, since you ignore the one that there is to shit; it is the greatest of your misfortunes... "
 
I always wanted to open an all female barber shop called Quickies.
I have not been in anything but all female barbershops for well over 10 years.

In fact, the last male barber that cut my hair in an otherwise female barbershop asked me, "Touch up your highlights?" I managed not to laugh as I told him that those blonde streaks were all natural.
 
Heh. My Dad was a mechanic that had his own shop. For a while we had a 1950's car of some kind that had no back seat installed. I brought along a small wooden chair to sit on. Why did it not have a back seat installed? My guess is: Ever see the movie "Thunder Road" with Robert Mitchum?

Back in the mid-70's a friend of mine drove a 1960 Ford Econoline van that he bought from a laundry. It had been used as a delivery van and had no seats except for the driver's. I either sat on the floor on the Right side or on the housing for the engine.

To think: Today I would not ride in a car that had seats but no seat belts.
 
In the end of the 70s we were was on holiday in some rental in a Dordogne village. We had ordered pies from the baker and he brought me back in his antic Peugeot J9 van withour passenger seat. I was seating on the spare wheel.
 

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