Quotes and Jokes (8 Viewers)

[Shortround6]

somebody had to post it

 

[Lucky13]

1: Too much hair....
2: It's too grey....
3: There's no glasses....

But other than that....

 

[fubar57]

 

[Lucky13]

 

[pbehn]

Re boot it.

 

[at6]

Re boot it.

Or just give it the boot.

 

[Gnomey]

 

[Lucky13]

Bent double, like old beggars under sacks,
Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge,
Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs
And towards our distant rest began to trudge.
Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots,
But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame; all blind;
Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots
Of tired, outstripped Five-Nines that dropped behind.

Gas! Gas! Quick, boys! – An ecstasy of fumbling,
Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time;
But someone still was yelling out and stumbling,
And flound'ring like a man in fire or lime...
Dim, through the misty panes and thick green light,
As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.

In all my dreams, before my helpless sight,
He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning.

If in some smothering dreams you too could pace
Behind the wagon that we flung him in,
And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,
His hanging face, like a devil's sick of sin;
If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood
Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs,
Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud
Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues,
My friend, you would not tell with such high zest,
To children ardent for some desperate glory,
The old Lie; Dulce et Decorum est
Pro patria mori.

Wilfred Owen

 

[Wayne Little]

 

[michaelmaltby]

Dog is man's friend. But friend is not necessary a dog.

Life is most dangerous thing. Survival rate is zero.

Find pleasure in small things. Like pay check.

If dog barks on you, you don't bark back. Why to answer when your wife complains about housework ?

There are three stages in life : childhood, youth, and "you look great"

 

[Gnomey]

 

[Wayne Little]

 

[michaelmaltby]

 

[Wurger]

 

[michaelmaltby]

BIBLE = Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth

 

[Wayne Little]

 

[Gnomey]

 

[michaelmaltby]

• For those of my generation who simply do not, and cannot, comprehend why Facebook exists:
• I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles.
  
  Therefore, every day I walk down the street and tell passersby what I have eaten, how I feel at the moment, what I have done the night before, what I'm doing now, what I will be doing later and with whom, and where I'm going next. and ask them to follow me along and watch me be important.
  
  Then I give them pictures of my family, my dog, and of me gardening, taking things apart in the garage, watering the lawn, standing in front of landmarks, washing the car, driving around town, eating lunch, getting a haircut, and doing what anybody and everybody does every day.
  
  I also listen to their conversations, give them the "thumbs up" and tell them I like them and will be friends with them. It all works just like Facebook.. only I do it face to face. not on a little glass screen.
  
  I already have four people following me - two police officers, a private investigator and a psychiatrist.
  
  

 

[at6]

I really have to hand it to the Navy. They have some very artistic pilots.

 

[pbehn]

Results in for a council snow plough naming competition.

Doncaster names gritters Gritsy Bitsy and David Plowie | Daily Mail Online