michaelmaltby
Colonel
"... They have some very artistic pilots."
Steady hand.
Steady hand.
Ad: This forum contains affiliate links to products on Amazon and eBay. More information in Terms and rules
- Hello! Gordon's pizza?
- No sir this is Google's pizza.
- Sorry, I must have dialed a wrong number?
- No sir, Google bought out
Gordon's Pizza a short while ago.
- OK. Take my order please.
- OK sir, would you like your usual?"
- The usual? You know me?
- According to our caller-ID database,
your last 12 orders were for pizza with
cheese and sausage toppings,
thick crust and crisp.
- OK! That's it...
- May I suggest this time you add ricotta,
arugula with dry tomato toppings?
- What? I hate vegetables.
- Your cholesterol is not good, sir."
- How do you know that?
- We cross-matched your phone number
with your name and your online medical portal.
We have the result of your blood tests
for the past 7 years.
- Okay, but I do not want those toppings,
I already take medicine ...
- Excuse me, but you have not taken
your medicine regularly.
We can see from our database,
4 months ago, you only purchased
a box with 30 cholesterol tablets at CVS.
- I bought more from another pharmacy.
- Such a transaction is not showing
in your credit card account.
- I paid in cash.
- But you did not withdraw that much cash
according to your recent bank statement.
- I have another source of cash.
- That is not showing as per your latest
tax return unless you obtained it from
an undeclared income source.
WHAT THE.....
- "I'm sorry, sir, we use such information
only with the intention of helping you.
- Enough! I'm sick of Google, Facebook,
Twitter, WhatsApp. I'm going to an Island
without internet, cable TV, where there is
no cell phone service and no one to spy on me.
- "I understand sir but you'll need to renew
your passport first as it expired 6 weeks ago!