Quotes and Jokes (1 Viewer)

[SaparotRob]

(and yet I laughed)

 

[special ed]

 

[special ed]

 

[special ed]

And now for a Dad joke:

 

[Shortround6]

I got offered a job as an invisible man but I couldn't see myself doing it.

Tonight the part of Lamont Cranston will be played by Claude Rains.

 

[Greg Boeser]

When I was in high school, one snowy winter day a bunch of us were sitting in the Commons, when a girl came in from the parking lot.
"My car won't start!" She announced.
"Who wants to jump me?"

 

[WARSPITER]

Tonight the part of Lamont Cranston will be played by Claude Rains.

And tomorrow the victim in Cat's Revenge will be played by Claude Balls.

 

[buffnut453]

I've started using garlic in my magic act. First I crush it, then I add pine nuts and basil and blend it with parmesan and olive oil and finally...hey, pesto!!

Go on....I dare you not to smile at this!

 

[Airframes]

Coat !

 

[buffnut453]

Coat !

I seldom remove it.

 

[Shortround6]

Ran across this looking for the Shadow

 

[Gnomey]

 

[MiTasol]

About 1970 I was with a small group who had dinner with Ormond Haydon-Baillie who was at that time on secondment from the RAF to the RCAF. I forget his rank but it was high for a young person.

One of the group asked how are you a ?? at such a young age.

His reply, in a very plummy voice, was "In the Royal Air Force your promotion levels depend on your ability to pronounce the word "actually" correctly"

 

[MiTasol]

Yep
Got my hat and coat and running shoes and ..................................

 

[Greg Boeser]

Dogs go "meoow" if you freeze them and then run them through the table saw.

 

[at6]

About 1970 I was with a small group who had dinner with Ormond Haydon-Baillie who was at that time on secondment from the RAF to the RCAF. I forget his rank but it was high for a young person.

One of the group asked how are you a ?? at such a young age.

His reply, in a very plummy voice, was "In the Royal Air Force your promotion levels depend on your ability to pronounce the word "actually" correctly"

I remember when he used to race at Reno. It was ad to hear news of his death in a crash some years later.

 

[Frog]

Vegans have no logic : they have vegetables transformed and processed to look and taste like meat.

 

[Gnomey]

 

[Greg Boeser]

 

[manta22]

View attachment 692011

Depressing thought.