Quotes and Jokes (9 Viewers)

[Wurger]

 

[Wurger]

A well-known cardiologist died and there was a very ceremonial funeral. During the funeral service there was a large heart covered with flowers behind the coffin.
When the speeches and prayers were over the heart opened and the coffin was moved inside. Then the beautiful heart closed and the doctor's body was buried in there forever.
At the same moment someone of the funeral participants burst out laughing loudly. All eyes were to him. So he said :
- I am very sorry but I just imagined myself my own funeral. I am a gynecologist.

A proctologist fainted.

 

[MIflyer]

Don't you wish you had available a few hundred of these signs?

 

[Greg Boeser]

My favorite is "Public Property, Keep Out"
Huh?!!!

 

[MIflyer]

In Midwest City OK when I got there in 1974 there was a large lot on the corner of one of the major intersections that held a deactivated USAF RAPCON facility that was soon traded to the city by the Air Force in return for the city's purchase and dismantling of a housing area that was in line with the main runway at Tinker AFB.

The property had a no trespassing sign posted, but when citizens asked about getting access to that property the city replied, "We have no provision for citizens petitioning for access to city property." Uh, isn't that against both the spirit and the basic concepts of the U.S. Constitution?

 

[Snautzer01]

Where?

Next to me. I was searching for a colour picture.

 

[Wurger]

 

[Gnomey]

 

[special ed]

 

[at6]

Testicles are soon to be outlawed in California.

 

[Wurger]

In a court ....

- The indictee lived with her husband for 40 years and then she killed him. Why?

- Your Honour , somehow, I was leaving it over and over.

 

[special ed]

 

[Wurger]

 

[Gnomey]

 

[at6]

Not only will California outlaw testicles, it will be a felony to possess any.

 

[WARSPITER]

Not only will California outlaw testicles, it will be a felony to possess any.

Is that like a 'hanging' offence ?

 

[ThomasP]

Does that mean that if we move to California my wife will be a felon?

 

[Wurger]

Not only will California outlaw testicles, it will be a felony to possess any.

For personal use too?

 

[WARSPITER]

For personal use too?

Only if they are less than 10 grams.

 

[Wurger]