RabidAlien
1st Lieutenant
From The Onion:
Somalia Cruise Ship Advertisement - BYO Ordinance
Here's a bit of humor I found floating on the onion
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How about a Somalia cruise package that departs from Sawakin (in the Sudan) and docks at Bagamoya (in Tanzania). The cost is a bit high but it seems well worth it. What I found encouraging and enlightened is that the cruise is encouraging people to bring their own high powered weapons along on the cruise. If you don't have weapons you can rent them right there on the boat. They claim to have a master gunsmith on board and will have reloading parties every afternoon. The cruise lasts from 4-8 days. All the boat does is sail up and down the coast of Somalia waiting to get hijacked by pirates. Here are some of the costs and claims associated with the package:
$800.00 US/per day per person, double occupancy (4 day minimum).
- M-16 full automatic: rental $25.00/day ammo at 100 rounds of 5.56 mm armor-piercing ammo at $15.95
- Ak-47 rifle: no charge. Ammo at 100 rounds of 7.62 mm com block ball ammo at $14.95
- Barrett M-107 .50 cal sniper rifle: rental $55.00/day. Ammo at 25 rounds 50 cal armor piercing at $29.95.
- Crew members can double as spotters for $30.00 per hour (spotting scope included). [see testimonial suggestion below]
- They offer RPG's at $75 bucks and $200 for 3 standard loads.
- Mounted mini-gun available @ $450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained fire.
- Free complimentary night vision equipment.
Meals are not included but seem reasonable. Coffee and snacks on the Lido (top) deck from 7pm-6am.
They offer group rates and corporate discounts, and even offer a partial money back if not satisfied.
Text from the ad:
"We guarantee that you will experience at least two hijacking attempts by pirates or we will refund half your money including gun rental charges and any unused ammo (mini gun charges not included). How can we guarantee you will experience a hijacking? We operate at 5 knots within 12 miles of the coast of Somalia. If an attempted hijacking does not occur we will turn the boat around and cruise by at 4 knots.
"We will repeat this for up to 8 days making three passes a day along the entire length of Somalia. At night the boat is fully lit and bottle rockets are shot off at intervals and loud disco music beamed shore side to attract attention. Cabin space is limited so respond quickly. Reserve your package before April 29 and get 100 rounds of free tracer ammo in the caliber of your choice."
Here are a few testimonials:
FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY!!" ---- Stan, Denver, CO USA
"I got three confirmed pirates on my last trip. I'LL never hunt big game in Africa again." ----Lars, Hamburg, Germany
"Six attacks in 4 days was more than I expected. I bagged three pirates and my 12 yr old son sank two rowboats with the minigun. PIRATES 0, PASSENGERS 32! Well worth the trip. Just make sure your spotter speaks English. There was some confusion who we were shooting at one point." --- Ned, Salt Lake City, Utah USA
"I haven't had this much fun since flying choppers in NAM. Don't worry about getting shot by pirates as they never even got close to the ship with those weapons they use and their crappy aim--reminds me of a drunken 'juicer' door gunner we picked up from the motor pool back in Nam." ----"Chopper" Dan, Toledo, Ohio USA.
Somalia Cruise Ship Advertisement - BYO Ordinance
Here's a bit of humor I found floating on the onion
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How about a Somalia cruise package that departs from Sawakin (in the Sudan) and docks at Bagamoya (in Tanzania). The cost is a bit high but it seems well worth it. What I found encouraging and enlightened is that the cruise is encouraging people to bring their own high powered weapons along on the cruise. If you don't have weapons you can rent them right there on the boat. They claim to have a master gunsmith on board and will have reloading parties every afternoon. The cruise lasts from 4-8 days. All the boat does is sail up and down the coast of Somalia waiting to get hijacked by pirates. Here are some of the costs and claims associated with the package:
$800.00 US/per day per person, double occupancy (4 day minimum).
- M-16 full automatic: rental $25.00/day ammo at 100 rounds of 5.56 mm armor-piercing ammo at $15.95
- Ak-47 rifle: no charge. Ammo at 100 rounds of 7.62 mm com block ball ammo at $14.95
- Barrett M-107 .50 cal sniper rifle: rental $55.00/day. Ammo at 25 rounds 50 cal armor piercing at $29.95.
- Crew members can double as spotters for $30.00 per hour (spotting scope included). [see testimonial suggestion below]
- They offer RPG's at $75 bucks and $200 for 3 standard loads.
- Mounted mini-gun available @ $450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained fire.
- Free complimentary night vision equipment.
Meals are not included but seem reasonable. Coffee and snacks on the Lido (top) deck from 7pm-6am.
They offer group rates and corporate discounts, and even offer a partial money back if not satisfied.
Text from the ad:
"We guarantee that you will experience at least two hijacking attempts by pirates or we will refund half your money including gun rental charges and any unused ammo (mini gun charges not included). How can we guarantee you will experience a hijacking? We operate at 5 knots within 12 miles of the coast of Somalia. If an attempted hijacking does not occur we will turn the boat around and cruise by at 4 knots.
"We will repeat this for up to 8 days making three passes a day along the entire length of Somalia. At night the boat is fully lit and bottle rockets are shot off at intervals and loud disco music beamed shore side to attract attention. Cabin space is limited so respond quickly. Reserve your package before April 29 and get 100 rounds of free tracer ammo in the caliber of your choice."
Here are a few testimonials:
FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY!!" ---- Stan, Denver, CO USA
"I got three confirmed pirates on my last trip. I'LL never hunt big game in Africa again." ----Lars, Hamburg, Germany
"Six attacks in 4 days was more than I expected. I bagged three pirates and my 12 yr old son sank two rowboats with the minigun. PIRATES 0, PASSENGERS 32! Well worth the trip. Just make sure your spotter speaks English. There was some confusion who we were shooting at one point." --- Ned, Salt Lake City, Utah USA
"I haven't had this much fun since flying choppers in NAM. Don't worry about getting shot by pirates as they never even got close to the ship with those weapons they use and their crappy aim--reminds me of a drunken 'juicer' door gunner we picked up from the motor pool back in Nam." ----"Chopper" Dan, Toledo, Ohio USA.
Good pick, RA. 
