Thanks you for all the good wishes, Connie has been laid to rest

Its hard to watch this sort of thing. I am so sorry for the loss, but i also hope the family can recover from the loss. i like to think that the person who passes is no longer suffering.

Bill, having been down this road and I know that that words fail but alas they are all we have:
Do not stand
at my grave and weep.
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds
that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight
on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awake in the
morning's hush
I am the soft uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft star that
shines at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not there.
I did not die.

My deepest and most since condolences to your wife and you

Agian I have to thank all on the forum who havew either commented, or just read my thread and stopped for a moment to feel something inside.

Thank you Mike, I read this to Annie. It says a lot of what I want Annie to feel.

Bil

Please accept my condolences for you and your wife.

Haven't been on for a couple of days Bill...real sorry to hear of your loss mate, condolences to you and Annie....

Thank you. Annie being Connie's primary carer for so long, yesterday was the first Saturday without being with Connie from 10am till 7pm. Needless to say it was a tough day for her. We spent the day together, shopping for a few things, farmers markets and having a bite to eat. The first time together she wasn't calling to see how Connie was doing. No oxygen tank run, no cooking for Connie for the week. Annie got to bed early last night, 8.30 and it's 7.20 am and she's still in bed, awake and relaxing. First time in years. It's playing out tough, but we'll be good.

Thanks for all the good wishes.

A&B

Just got back from camping and just wish to add my condolences to you and your family,,,never an easy thing.

Thank you all once more.

Been a busy week and a half, funeral and all. Picking up death certificate and certified copies. Attorney and wills.
Cancelling credit cards, reward cards, memberships. Cleaning out the fridge, closets, personal items. Taking care of bank accounts, savings. Health insurance, oxygen supplier, pharmacies. Gathering names for thank youse, making the card.

Still have to think about furniture, her little Toyota Corolla.

Still try to have some semblance of a life of our own during the week. Birthday dinner at a friend's home for their 21 year old daughter. Annie took some time to meet with other teachers for coffee and lunch. Visited some of Connies sewing and social groups.

Tomorrow will be the first Saturday Annie will be alone. I will be off to IPMSA for the day. She still misses having to prepare Connies food for the week. Usually being with her all day on Saturdays. Today we went out thru the National Park and out to Bundeena to a club for lunch. But we had been there with Connie and Ron, her dad, it was a bit overwhelming after a while, and was a quiet ride back. Annie knows she can tell me when she is feeling down, and does. It helps. But getting cut off of doing what she has been doing for several years is a tough thing to go thru.

Sunday we will go in to Sydney to the Rocks Markets then to Paddy's Markets and get some ball caps for Christmas and end of year gifts for her third graders. Maybe lunch in Chinatown. Time for us.

We will get thru it, time is on our side. Thanks for listening.

Bill

My condolences Bill. Our thoughts are with you and yours.

I only come on for a moment or two, try to add comments here and there, amke light of some.

It's been rather busy, Annie survived the Saturday alone, she concentrated on school work, programs for her third graders. Will taken care of, notices in the paper and such, lawyer takes care of all that. Mail diverted to our address. Cards cancelled. Ashes picked up, placque marker arranged. Ian is up this weekend, sorting thru family stuff, deciding what to keep, what to give away and what to donate, and pehaps sell other things. Will have to have someone come out and value the property. Tell us what can be done to make it a bit more atractive to a family rather than a knock down and rebuild buyer. The house was built in 1964 and there are a few old fashioned details that could stand removing.

Annie and I did spend the day in the city, Sydney on Thursday, just shopping for only a couple of things, lunch and breathing. It's difficult for her to sit and do nothing, her mind just keeps going back to Connie. Which I can understand so we try and keep things moving and let there be some quiet time.

Tomorrow Ian and Annie will go thru a list of things Connie made with her wishes to distribute, and the value of some keepsakes. This will make the final decissions on what to do with everything left in the house and garage. It all moves, slowly, but we will get there.

Monday being a holiday here, school will start Tuesday. A little more naormalcy to our lives.

Thanks for listening.

A&B

The way I was brought up Bill, here goes.....*big bear hugs* to you both!

It has been a while; it's a bit of a hidden struggle. Annie tries to suppress the internal sadness she has. Still not liking to go to school to her third graders, but unwilling to take leave for the rest of the year to distance herself from it all. She feels she would be abandoning her beautiful kids for the sake of a couple who make teaching so tough.

Still going thru her mother's belongings, weeding out the good from the stuff the thrift stores couldn't put on the shelves. There are things going to close friends who would like something to remember Connie by. Connie collected nice tea cups and saucers, most have gone to the ladies in the neighbourhood and her sewing circles. All this wears Annie down because the conversation gets rather sullen about the loss, and Annie encounters it everywhere. So there is no time to forget.

I made a phone call to a crisis centre and had conversation with the nicest bloke. He put me on to a couple of outreach groups, which finally lead me to Calvary and a counsellor and a long discussion about all that is going on. I told Annie what I had done, asked if she was open to counselling and yes, she is. She then called and an appointment has been made for next Tuesday afternoon. Her first visit will be a private one and the plan is I will attend any others with her. I think it will help. She just needs to scream, if you get my drift. Just needs to release.

All the legal stuff is still dragging on, this does not help. One by one they are being taken care of. It doesn't help her brother is so far removed from all this stuff and contributes nothing to the solution. I usually am the target of opportunity. She says something, I react. I say something, she reacts. We keep reading things into what has been said, something we never did before. She is as strong willed as I am, what a combination eh? I know tho, in the end it will all come good. When we are doing things that get us away from all that is going on around us, we are good. Time.

Thanks for listening,
Bill

Hang in there Bill. I've had my own family dwindle in the past few years and it is tough but it really does get comfortable after a while - maybe not easier. Do go to those consults - I did and it helped just to vent to a stranger.

Keeping you both in my thoughts.

Hang in there Bill, always a tough time but stay strong.

A little advice about english law.......

Since Annie and Ians' names are not on the deed for the home Connie occupied, they have to pay taxes............. and a fee based on the value of ALL property owned!!!!!!!!!

Now had Connie put Annies or Ians name on the deed, no fee to the blood sucking lawyers!!!! to the tune of over 8,000 F'n dollars.... for doing F'k all. Not even advice on what to do at the bank, or any other thing finacial.

They just sit back and wait for you to sell property, then stick their grubby fingers up your A$$ and pull out as much money as the LAW Allows........ they are f'n worse than Contractors...........................

Can you tell I am livid about all this!

B@stards...