Matt, you can relax. As far as the image posted below, the caption that generally accompanies it states that the snake in question was found in a lake in Proctor, North Carolina, before being killed and pulled from there by an excavation machine. The snake is generally described as being somewhere around 46 to 98 feet long. There are definite problems with those numbers though, there are no snake species (currently in the world) that grow to anywhere near those lengths, and perhaps more importantly, the snake in the photo is much closer to the camera than any of the other objects in the photo are, thus giving an exaggerated sense of size.
It is clear though that even with exaggeration, that is a very large snake. The largest snake specimen ever reported (reputably) was a 32-foot-long reticulated python (Python reticulatus) that was caught in Indonesia in the early 1900s. It is likely possible that they could grow larger, but those would be truly exceptional individuals, and even then they wouldn't approach the sizes that the above snake is described as being.
The viral photos appear to have originated as part of an Indonesian news article published in late 2012. That article stated that the python was discovered in Indonesia, in the Bangka Belitung Islands province, before being killed and buried.
Accurate statistics for the snake in the above picture are not available. However, when the forced perspective trick is factored in, it seems reasonable to suggest that the snake, while certainly large, was well within the normal size range of snakes found in the region and would have weighed much less than 700 lbs. It should be noted that earlier versions of the message made no such claim for the snake's weight. The weight figure seems to have been added on by whoever made the false Proctor, NC claim.