Matt308
Glock Perfection
F#cking brilliant!!!! 
Get Lucky!
- Thread starter Njaco
- Start date
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Yes, Matt has hit the nail on the head!!
- Thread starter
- #104
Njaco
The Pop-Tart Whisperer
I watched as a Yul Brynner on a cheesecake diet stood up and slowly made his way to me. My grip tightened on the handle of the beerglass.
"Who said ya could come in here, ya Bampot?!"
The ten other Rogaine patients slowly followed Yul's lead and got up to stand behind him.
"Who's asking?" I replied.
A smile slowly appeared on Yul's shiny glazed face and I saw the others were starting to nudge each other.
"The BSG!" he said with breath that smelled like a rancid herring delicacy.
I pulled the glass down to my lap for better leverage and stared Yul straight in the eye. I matched his smile with one of my own but my face wasn't quite recovered from room service.
"What the hell is a 'BSG'? Is that like some immigrant food additive?"
The smile disappeared.
"Who said ya could come in here, ya Bampot?!"
The ten other Rogaine patients slowly followed Yul's lead and got up to stand behind him.
"Who's asking?" I replied.
A smile slowly appeared on Yul's shiny glazed face and I saw the others were starting to nudge each other.
"The BSG!" he said with breath that smelled like a rancid herring delicacy.
I pulled the glass down to my lap for better leverage and stared Yul straight in the eye. I matched his smile with one of my own but my face wasn't quite recovered from room service.
"What the hell is a 'BSG'? Is that like some immigrant food additive?"
The smile disappeared.
Attachments
- Thread starter
- #105
Njaco
The Pop-Tart Whisperer
"We're the Brittany Spears Gang and this is our house!" he said, trying to do his best Arnold impression, "and you're not welcome."
I almost dropped the glass. What freakshow did I walk into? I decided it was time to leave.
"What, you think I'm Doon the Dee on a digestive? There isn't any such thing as a Brittany Spears Gang. But I do have a question." I said.
I wriggled off the barstool. It looked like Yul was finally getting blood to his dome as his face wrinkled up. Someone in the back pipped, "Hit him, baby, one more time!"
"What's that?" he asked and took 2 steps towards me. I backed away, seeing the door about 10 feet away.
If I timed this right.....
"Well..." I said. "Are you really that bald or is your neck just blowing a bubble?"
Just as quickly the blood drained from his face and in that spilt-second I made for the door. Reaching the safety of the outside, I turned to give one last parting shot when my world went black.
(we take this moment to bring you a word from our sponsor)
I almost dropped the glass. What freakshow did I walk into? I decided it was time to leave.
"What, you think I'm Doon the Dee on a digestive? There isn't any such thing as a Brittany Spears Gang. But I do have a question." I said.
I wriggled off the barstool. It looked like Yul was finally getting blood to his dome as his face wrinkled up. Someone in the back pipped, "Hit him, baby, one more time!"
"What's that?" he asked and took 2 steps towards me. I backed away, seeing the door about 10 feet away.
If I timed this right.....
"Well..." I said. "Are you really that bald or is your neck just blowing a bubble?"
Just as quickly the blood drained from his face and in that spilt-second I made for the door. Reaching the safety of the outside, I turned to give one last parting shot when my world went black.
(we take this moment to bring you a word from our sponsor)
Attachments
Matt308
Glock Perfection
More!! More!!!
Lucky13
Forum Mascot
Good stuff....good stuff!!
ccheese
Member In Perpetuity
I'm glued to the computer... can't eat, can't sleep.... Hurry with the next
episode... !
Charles
episode... !
Charles
Lucky13
Forum Mascot
When do we get to the saucy stuff...??
ccheese
Member In Perpetuity
You don't mean..... Is our hero going to get "lucky" or get "Lucky" ?
There IS a difference....
Charles
There IS a difference....
Charles
Lucky13
Forum Mascot
Well......
A4K
Brigadier General
As the girls back home used to say - 'Virginity is like a balloon. One prick and it's all gone...'
Keep it coming (cumming?), Chris!
Keep it coming (cumming?), Chris!
- Thread starter
- #113
Njaco
The Pop-Tart Whisperer
"Is it safe?"
The words were rough and measured and my eyes started to focus to the room. It was dark except for a single lamp with a low-watt dirty bulb for light. I was semi-sitting in what I took to be a lounge chair with my wrists taped down to the arms of the chair. My head was pounding somewhere between my ears and I still had to take a piss.
"Is it safe?" the voice asked again and just now I could make out a figure standing behind the lamp. I couldn't see his face but his hands reached down to a small metal table next to the lamp. There appeared to be kitchen utensils on top of the table.
"Is it safe?"
His voice had an echo which, although I couldn't see the rest of the room, gave me an indication of its size. It was big.
"Is it safe?" he asked again.
"You've got to get a bigger vocabulary." I replied, my head pounding with every word.
"Is it safe?" he said again.
"Is what safe? Who are you and where the hell am I?" I wriggled the tape holding my wrists and found I had some room to work my way out of them.
"Is it safe?" he asked, yet again like a stuck phonograph and tried to move from behind the lamp. Tried, because as he did, he tripped on something on the floor and I thought he was gonna do a Dick Van Dyke. I still couldn't see his face but I could see he held a syringe in his left hand, filled with a blue liquid. Great, I thought, somebody wants to play doctor and I'm the patient.
"Is it safe?" he said as he still moved around the chair, always keeping his face out of the light but he kept tripping as he walked. It was apparent his slinky doesn't go all the way down the stairs.
"Hey, Dr. Menegele, wanna tell me whats this all about?" I said, still working my wrist tapes.
"You are Number 6." he replied in a change of topic. Well that about answered everything, I thought. I didn't know what his problem was but I'd bet it was hard to pronounce.
And thats when it happened.
The tape on my wrists suddenly broke and my arms popped up from the force I exerted. This move must have surprised him as he tripped once again but this time fell backwards. As he did, the lamp wobbled and then followed the good doctor to the floor, both crashing with a sound that continued to echo in the room for a few seconds. A muffled groan and then all was silent. Except for my bladder which I swear must have been lodgeing a complaint to my body. Now everything was dark and I slowly got up from the chair. I could feel with my feet that Mr. Safe was out cold on the floor. "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." I said and gave a swift kick.
I slowly made my way across the room, arms out in front of me, trying to reach a wall or something. It was darker than a day in Sweden and I was hoping to get out soon and relieve myself. After a few feet I couldn't hold it anymore. Not knowing what was around me, I decided to go right there. Opening my fly, I soon was.......
The words were rough and measured and my eyes started to focus to the room. It was dark except for a single lamp with a low-watt dirty bulb for light. I was semi-sitting in what I took to be a lounge chair with my wrists taped down to the arms of the chair. My head was pounding somewhere between my ears and I still had to take a piss.
"Is it safe?" the voice asked again and just now I could make out a figure standing behind the lamp. I couldn't see his face but his hands reached down to a small metal table next to the lamp. There appeared to be kitchen utensils on top of the table.
"Is it safe?"
His voice had an echo which, although I couldn't see the rest of the room, gave me an indication of its size. It was big.
"Is it safe?" he asked again.
"You've got to get a bigger vocabulary." I replied, my head pounding with every word.
"Is it safe?" he said again.
"Is what safe? Who are you and where the hell am I?" I wriggled the tape holding my wrists and found I had some room to work my way out of them.
"Is it safe?" he asked, yet again like a stuck phonograph and tried to move from behind the lamp. Tried, because as he did, he tripped on something on the floor and I thought he was gonna do a Dick Van Dyke. I still couldn't see his face but I could see he held a syringe in his left hand, filled with a blue liquid. Great, I thought, somebody wants to play doctor and I'm the patient.
"Is it safe?" he said as he still moved around the chair, always keeping his face out of the light but he kept tripping as he walked. It was apparent his slinky doesn't go all the way down the stairs.
"Hey, Dr. Menegele, wanna tell me whats this all about?" I said, still working my wrist tapes.
"You are Number 6." he replied in a change of topic. Well that about answered everything, I thought. I didn't know what his problem was but I'd bet it was hard to pronounce.
And thats when it happened.
The tape on my wrists suddenly broke and my arms popped up from the force I exerted. This move must have surprised him as he tripped once again but this time fell backwards. As he did, the lamp wobbled and then followed the good doctor to the floor, both crashing with a sound that continued to echo in the room for a few seconds. A muffled groan and then all was silent. Except for my bladder which I swear must have been lodgeing a complaint to my body. Now everything was dark and I slowly got up from the chair. I could feel with my feet that Mr. Safe was out cold on the floor. "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." I said and gave a swift kick.
I slowly made my way across the room, arms out in front of me, trying to reach a wall or something. It was darker than a day in Sweden and I was hoping to get out soon and relieve myself. After a few feet I couldn't hold it anymore. Not knowing what was around me, I decided to go right there. Opening my fly, I soon was.......
Attachments
DBII
Senior Master Sergeant
ccheese
Member In Perpetuity
I know the feeling..... I peed on an electric cattle fence, once..... and only
once. My go-nads hurt for a week.......
Charles
once. My go-nads hurt for a week.......
Charles
Becca
Staff Sergeant
nuh-UH!! @ Charles....really???
and as a side note...reading this thread at work= BAD. ESPECIALLY after taking a big gulp o'coffee.
and as a side note...reading this thread at work= BAD. ESPECIALLY after taking a big gulp o'coffee.
Matt308
Glock Perfection
evangilder
"Shooter"
Yep, that hurts like hell! I did it many years ago, and it won't happen again!
And for the record, Becca, it's always best to take a drink of any fluid and swallow it before opening a thread. I have wasted a couple of keyboards here.
A4K
Brigadier General
"...And the question on everyone's lips - ...well, Charles' anyway... -Will our hero get 'Lucky' ? Or will he 'get lucky' ? Will our hero get bounced by that big beheameth and get very 'UN-lucky' ? Possibly our hero will 'get lucky' and get 'Lucky', or maybe he'll 'get Lucky' and get 'Lucky' then 'get lucky' with 'Lucky', or - ***CUT!!!!!***
(THE ADVERTISERS WOULD LIKE TO DISCLAIM ANY RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE ABOVE ANNOUNCEMENT - OUR POOR ANNOUNCER JUST HAS THESE LITTLE FITS NOW AND AGAIN, EVER SINCE HE TRIED TO KEEP AN OPEN MIND AND WATCH AN ENTIRE EPISODE OF 'WALKER, TEXAS RANGER'. THE DAMAGE IS, ALAS, IRREPAIRABLE)
(THE ADVERTISERS WOULD LIKE TO DISCLAIM ANY RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE ABOVE ANNOUNCEMENT - OUR POOR ANNOUNCER JUST HAS THESE LITTLE FITS NOW AND AGAIN, EVER SINCE HE TRIED TO KEEP AN OPEN MIND AND WATCH AN ENTIRE EPISODE OF 'WALKER, TEXAS RANGER'. THE DAMAGE IS, ALAS, IRREPAIRABLE)
DBII
Senior Master Sergeant
I'm so confused??? Is this thread sponsored by Lucky Strike?
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BU49DSS1ibc
DBII
Is this thread sponsored by Lucky Strike? View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BU49DSS1ibc
DBII
