T Bolt
Colonel
You're a poet Paul!!
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- Thread starter Matt308
- Start date
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Hotntot
Senior Airman
Everyone found the 'sweet spot'?
meatloaf109
1st Lieutenant
I wrote an alternate "Mary Had A..." many years ago.
based on an inscription I found in an old yearbook.
(It helps of you think of Bullwinkle Moose reading it.)
"Mary had a little lamb.
She tied it to the heater.
And every time it turned around,
It burned it's little seater."
Cute, huh?
"This lamb that Mary had,
never was real bright.
and then one night, her back was turned,
The lamb attacked with all his might.
The night wore on, and on they fought,
Each wanting to be the winner.
Because, it seemed, the one who lost,
would be the others dinner.
When the lamb tried to use
A kitchen knife he'd found,
Mary grabbed a cast-iron skillet,
and beat him to the ground.
Alas, the lamb that Mary had
passed along that day
Mary's headed for the electric chair,
you know, she has to pay.
Mary's time was up,
and they were gonna' fry her.
Only the Governor could help'
but He thought she was a liar.
Last meal time came around
She could "Have anything she would wish;
Just as long as it wasn't lamb"
she wanted on her dish.
As Mary chewed her pizza up,
She ordered "pizza" by the way,
she had only one regret.
That she had not killed more than one, that day.
Mary had a little cat.
That sold her out that night.
When asked about the happenings,
he claimed Mary had started the fight.
Mary had a little last thought,
(just as they threw the switch.)
"All for just one stupid lamb.
Ain't life a Bit----"
based on an inscription I found in an old yearbook.
(It helps of you think of Bullwinkle Moose reading it.)
"Mary had a little lamb.
She tied it to the heater.
And every time it turned around,
It burned it's little seater."
Cute, huh?
"This lamb that Mary had,
never was real bright.
and then one night, her back was turned,
The lamb attacked with all his might.
The night wore on, and on they fought,
Each wanting to be the winner.
Because, it seemed, the one who lost,
would be the others dinner.
When the lamb tried to use
A kitchen knife he'd found,
Mary grabbed a cast-iron skillet,
and beat him to the ground.
Alas, the lamb that Mary had
passed along that day
Mary's headed for the electric chair,
you know, she has to pay.
Mary's time was up,
and they were gonna' fry her.
Only the Governor could help'
but He thought she was a liar.
Last meal time came around
She could "Have anything she would wish;
Just as long as it wasn't lamb"
she wanted on her dish.
As Mary chewed her pizza up,
She ordered "pizza" by the way,
she had only one regret.
That she had not killed more than one, that day.
Mary had a little cat.
That sold her out that night.
When asked about the happenings,
he claimed Mary had started the fight.
Mary had a little last thought,
(just as they threw the switch.)
"All for just one stupid lamb.
Ain't life a Bit----"
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Bucksnort101
2nd Lieutenant
Time for a new one.
Om Nom Nom Nom!!!
Om Nom Nom Nom!!!
Aaron Brooks Wolters
Brigadier General
And nobody brought the freakin' tea! We can't have tea and biscuits without the bloody tea! How many times do I have to tell you, DON'T FORGET THE TEA!
N4521U
Colonel
Vern, you are right...............
them irritating National Geographic photographers are pretty darned god when you slicem nice and thin.
them irritating National Geographic photographers are pretty darned god when you slicem nice and thin.
Njaco
The Pop-Tart Whisperer
"These woodchuck Pop-tarts are the bomb!!!"
vikingBerserker
Lieutenant General
"After paying $750 for tickets, it was not the beaver show Frank was expecting."
Bucksnort101
2nd Lieutenant
And now it's time for the 3rd annual Marmot speed eating competition. OK, starting gnawing on the count of three, 1, 2, threeeeeee.
GrauGeist
Generalfeldmarschall zur Luftschiff Abteilung
..."What is wrong with humans!! These Norwegian crackers taste like sh!t!!!"...
Bucksnort101
2nd Lieutenant
Alvin; "Hmmmm, these need a little mustard".
Theodore; "And some bacon".
Theodore; "And some bacon".
MacArther
Staff Sergeant
"Huhuhuh....them critters lined up real nice once we put the bait out!"
vikingBerserker
Lieutenant General
I'll toss out a new one
"Oh, you meant THAT uniform!"
"Oh, you meant THAT uniform!"
Njaco
The Pop-Tart Whisperer
I'm speechless.......................
meatloaf109
1st Lieutenant
Private Katzchen Nachthemd Von Keinhossenaberbereit Reporting for duty!
Translation, Pvt. Pussycat Nightshirt of Pants-less-always-ready.
Translation, Pvt. Pussycat Nightshirt of Pants-less-always-ready.
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Njaco
The Pop-Tart Whisperer
Hauptmann Mikeal Tyson of the LGBT Division of the Waffen SS.
meatloaf109
1st Lieutenant
"The Herr Hauptman has obviously misunderstood when we said we were going out to look for p#ssy!"
(This was suggested by SWMBO!)
(This was suggested by SWMBO!)
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MacArther
Staff Sergeant
"Okay guys...when will it not be my turn to wear the dress?"
Airframes
Benevolens Magister
Franz, if you dare to call me a ****, I swear I'll .........
