Wildcat
Major
Quokes/Jotes... Continued! 2!
- Thread starter Pisis
- Start date
Ad: This forum contains affiliate links to products on Amazon and eBay. More information in Terms and rules
- Status
Henk
Master Sergeant
**** that suck.
I have a Golden retriever and I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her no..........I was starting The Purina Diet again,
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time,
but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward
with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with
Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry
and that the food is nutritionally complete
so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story,
particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned.
I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my b*lls and a car hit me.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her no..........I was starting The Purina Diet again,
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time,
but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward
with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with
Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry
and that the food is nutritionally complete
so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story,
particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned.
I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my b*lls and a car hit me.
the lancaster kicks ass
Major General
- 19,937
- Dec 20, 2003
if that's true then it's classic......
Yeah, that is great
Its True, Honest. And I have a Lancaster in my backyard. 
A couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks. He wanted a new truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town.
He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range.
"Look!" she said. I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 4 seconds or less. "And my birthday is coming up. You could surprise me."
For her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale.
Divorce papers are pending.
A couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks. He wanted a new truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town.
He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range.
"Look!" she said. I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 4 seconds or less. "And my birthday is coming up. You could surprise me."
For her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale.
Divorce papers are pending.
loomaluftwaffe
Tech Sergeant
- 1,840
- Dec 20, 2005
what a *****
Wildcat
Major
I like it!
Good one Kiwi
- Thread starter
- #370
Pisis
2nd Lieutenant
Heil Kitler!
http://www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com/
http://www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com/
Attachments
Wildcat
Major
quick, somebody shoot it!
the lancaster kicks ass
Major General
- 19,937
- Dec 20, 2003
that site's great
Yes the site is nice
A Bavarian tourist has just come back from a trip to Arizona.
It was horrible!- He tells his story in a local pub.
- Suddenly in broad daylight I was surrounded by the Indians!Wild Indians in front of me,wild Indians behind,wild Indians all around me!
- And what did you do,friend? - asked his companions raising their heavy beer glasses.
- What could I do? - the traveller shrugged his shoulders - I bought that f***'ing blanket from them.
A Bavarian tourist has just come back from a trip to Arizona.
It was horrible!- He tells his story in a local pub.
- Suddenly in broad daylight I was surrounded by the Indians!Wild Indians in front of me,wild Indians behind,wild Indians all around me!
- And what did you do,friend? - asked his companions raising their heavy beer glasses.
- What could I do? - the traveller shrugged his shoulders - I bought that f***'ing blanket from them.
loomaluftwaffe
Tech Sergeant
- 1,840
- Dec 20, 2005
I know that too well
- Thread starter
- #375
Pisis
2nd Lieutenant
Wildcat
Major
Holy f*ck!
loomaluftwaffe
Tech Sergeant
- 1,840
- Dec 20, 2005
the lancaster kicks ass
Major General
- 19,937
- Dec 20, 2003
that's just not right.........
- Thread starter
- #380
Pisis
2nd Lieutenant
I guess it isn't...
- Status
