Quokes/Jotes... Continued! 2!

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Most Brits will get this with the recent tension over Muslim women;

A woman receives a knock at the door, looking out the window she notices a Muslim woman at the door. So, she goes down and kneels down to the letterbox and says: "Hello, I'm going to talk through this to see how you like it!"
 
Order of Battle

ARMY - In the Army, the officers send the men off to fight.
NAVY - In the Navy, the officers lead the men into battle.
AIR FORCE - In the Air Force, the men send the officers off to fight.
 
Why gas prices are high...

Dubai, United Arab Emirates

[This is so outrageous that it is funny]
 

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Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out...."Pa! You need to go out and fix the outhouse!"

Pa replies, "There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse."

Ma yells back, "Yes there is, now git out there and fix it."

So......Pa mosies out to the outhouse, looks around and yells back, "Ma! There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse! "

Ma replies, "Stick yur head in the hole!"

Pa yells back, "I ain't stickin my head in that hole!"

Ma says, "Ya have to stick yur head in the hole to see what to fix."

So with that, Pa sticks his head in the hole, looks around and yells back, "Ma! There ain't nuthin wrong with this outhouse!"

Ma hollers back, "Now take your head out of the hole!"

Pa proceeds to pull his head out of the hole, then starts yelling, "Ma! Help! My beard is stuck in the cracks in the toilet seat!"

To which Ma replies, "Hurt's, don't it ?!"
 
ouch kiwi that's wrong

and that stuff about the Muslim women's pissing me off, it all started with a perfectly reasonable request to muslim women to remove their veils during privite conversations, is that altogether unreasonable?
 
Apparently not.

Down here recently there was a "Civil Rights" court case.

Her husband did not understand why she should have to take her Rag Top off to have her drivers license photo taken. HALLO, anyone home...

Further, he could not understand why he had been given a Dangerous Driving ticket for allowing her to drive while wearing the full Rag Top. Could he see any impairment in her ability to drive. NOOOOO.

Funny thing tho, they lost the case for some reason.
 
And thank goodness there is some reality in this world. If the Muslim's are trying to endear themselves to our hearts, that is NOT the way to go about it. Anyway, that's another thread...

Oh, and I would never have guessed that ski lift and its attendant snow would be built in a building. Anywhere.

Here's another. Apologies if you have seen this before.
 

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HEHE, reminds me....

Mickey Mouse was in the Divorce court.

The judge said "let me get this straight Mr Mouse, you want to divorce Minni Mouse on grounds of insanity."

Mickey replies...

"I never said she was crazy, I said she was F'ng Goofy."
 
I've seen the Monrovian fighting before. The first time I saw that one, I literally laughed myself to tears. Never get tired of that one.

I loved the funny mil thread. Hadn't seen alot of those before.
 
A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye....It reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
10 MILES

He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought....Soon he sees another sign which reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
5 MILES

Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drives past a third sign saying:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION NEXT RIGHT

His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, "What may we do for you my son?" He answers, "I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in possibly doing business...."

"Very well my son. Please follow me." He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented.. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, "Please knock on this door."

He does so and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door... This nun instructs, "Please place $100 in the cup then go through the large wooden door at the end of the hallway." He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through the door pulling it shut behind him. The door locks, and he finds himself back in the parking lot facing another sign:

GO IN PEACE. YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS.

SERVES YOU RIGHT,

YOU SINNER
 
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