Quokes/Jotes...Continued!

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Heres a joke about sheep which I have altered a bit to please lanc


A man is conducting a survey on the way different counties abuse their sheep...He goes to Yorkshire and asks a farmer:

"Excuse me sir, how do you shag your sheep?"

"I put their back legs in my wellys, and their front legs over the fence..."

"Thanks!"

The man then goes to Wales, finds a local farmer and asks:

"Hello sir, im conducting a survey on how people abuse their sheep, how do you do it?"

"Well I stick their back legs in my wellys and their front legs over the fence..."

"Wow, thats how they do it in Yorkshire too! Thanks!"

The man then goes down to Cornwall, and finds a farmers son. He asks:

"Hello sir, im conducting a survey on how people screw their sheep, how do you do it?"

"Well I stick their back legs in my wellys, and their front legs over my shoulders.."

"Ugh thats sick! Why dont you just put them over the fence like everyone else?!"

"What?! And miss out on all the kissing?!?!"



Crap I know but ive nowt better to do
 
Funny from AVWeb:

If ever you've lost your place...

I fly "co-pilot" for a national carrier. This particular dark and stormy night had me eager for some real world practice. The captain had other ideas.

Me: I'd like to fly the approach tonight if you don't mind.

Captain: ...and how many times have you flown this one before?

Me: More times than I can count.

(pause)

Captain: I'm still waiting for you to say something that might inspire my confidence.
 

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