mosquitoman
Master Sergeant
Good one!
Very true aswell
Very true aswell
Quokes/Jotes...Continued!
- Thread starter Pisis
- Start date
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evangilder
"Shooter"
Good one, V2!- Thread starter
- #325
Pisis
2nd Lieutenant
ROFL!!!!
evangilder
"Shooter"
The teacher asks Sen. Ted Kennedy if he would like to lead the discussion on the word "tragedy." So the illustrious leader asks the class for an example of a "tragedy."
One little boy stands up and offers: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy."
"No," says the Great Ted Kennedy, "that would be an accident."
A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explains the exalted one. "That's what we would call a great loss."
The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. Sen. Kennedy searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
Finally at the back of the room a small boy raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says: "If a jet carrying Senators Kennedy, Kerry and Clinton were struck by a missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy."
"Fantastic!" exclaims Kennedy. "That's right! And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"
"Well," says the boy, "because it sure as hell wouldn't be a great loss, and it probably wouldn't be an accident either."
One little boy stands up and offers: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy."
"No," says the Great Ted Kennedy, "that would be an accident."
A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explains the exalted one. "That's what we would call a great loss."
The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. Sen. Kennedy searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
Finally at the back of the room a small boy raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says: "If a jet carrying Senators Kennedy, Kerry and Clinton were struck by a missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy."
"Fantastic!" exclaims Kennedy. "That's right! And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"
"Well," says the boy, "because it sure as hell wouldn't be a great loss, and it probably wouldn't be an accident either."
the lancaster kicks ass
Major General
- 19,937
- Dec 20, 2003
i like it.........
cheddar cheese
Major General
Ha!
MichaelHenley
Senior Airman
Brilliant
evangilder
"Shooter"
A lady walked into a Lexus dealership just to browse.
Suddenly she spotted the most beautiful car that she had ever seen and
walked over to inspect it.
As she bent forward to feel the fine leather upholstery, an unexpected
little fart escaped her.
Embarrassed, she anxiously looked around to see if anyone had noticed
and hoped a sales person didn't pop up right now.
But, as she turned back, there, standing next to her, is a salesman.
With a pleasant smile he greeted her, "Good day, Madame. How may we
help you today?"
Trying to maintain an air of sophistication and acting as though
nothing had happened, she smiles back and asked,
"Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"
Still smiling pleasantly, he replied, "Madame, I'm very sorry to say
that if you farted just by touching
it, you are going to shit when you hear the price.
Suddenly she spotted the most beautiful car that she had ever seen and
walked over to inspect it.
As she bent forward to feel the fine leather upholstery, an unexpected
little fart escaped her.
Embarrassed, she anxiously looked around to see if anyone had noticed
and hoped a sales person didn't pop up right now.
But, as she turned back, there, standing next to her, is a salesman.
With a pleasant smile he greeted her, "Good day, Madame. How may we
help you today?"
Trying to maintain an air of sophistication and acting as though
nothing had happened, she smiles back and asked,
"Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"
Still smiling pleasantly, he replied, "Madame, I'm very sorry to say
that if you farted just by touching
it, you are going to shit when you hear the price.
the lancaster kicks ass
Major General
- 19,937
- Dec 20, 2003
- Thread starter
- #334
Pisis
2nd Lieutenant
evangilder
"Shooter"
- Thread starter
- #336
Pisis
2nd Lieutenant
evangilder
"Shooter"
That's frightening.
elmilitaro
Senior Airman
Hey guys, Elmo is back!!!
I hope nobody gets offended with the joke I'm about to say.
One day a english man, a french man, a mexican, and a Texan were riding a plane. Everything was going fine until the pilot yells out, " we are having difficulties and only one of you all can survive."
They argued for a couple of minutes and they all decided to jump to their deaths.
The english man was the first to jump and as he did he yelled," GOD SAVE THE QUEEEEEENN!!" And he died.
The french man, feeling motivated, jumped out and yelled," VIVA LA FRAAAANCE!!!" And he died.
The Texan, feeling all pumped up and patriotic, grabbed the Mexican and threw him overboard. As he did this he yelled," REMEMBER THE ALAMO!!!!"
Is it funny or what?! ( I hope I don't offend anybody.)
I hope nobody gets offended with the joke I'm about to say.
One day a english man, a french man, a mexican, and a Texan were riding a plane. Everything was going fine until the pilot yells out, " we are having difficulties and only one of you all can survive."
They argued for a couple of minutes and they all decided to jump to their deaths.
The english man was the first to jump and as he did he yelled," GOD SAVE THE QUEEEEEENN!!" And he died.
The french man, feeling motivated, jumped out and yelled," VIVA LA FRAAAANCE!!!" And he died.
The Texan, feeling all pumped up and patriotic, grabbed the Mexican and threw him overboard. As he did this he yelled," REMEMBER THE ALAMO!!!!"
Is it funny or what?! ( I hope I don't offend anybody.)
- Thread starter
- #339
Pisis
2nd Lieutenant
A bit racistic one but funny. BTW, what is Los Alamos?
MichaelHenley
Senior Airman
eh? 
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