Quokes/Jotes...Continued!

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A Chinese couple named Wong had a new baby.

The nurse brings them over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, definitely Caucasian white baby boy!

"Congratulations," says the nurse to the new parents. "What will you name the baby?"

The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says..........

"Well, two Wongs don't make a white, so I think we will name him Sum Ting Wong."
 
I got kind of a sick one for you guys.

A man limps into a bar with a cane and alligator. The bartender stops him and says "Hold on a second here - you can't bring that animal in here, they aren't allowed!" So the man says, "But my gator here does a really cool trick..."

The bartender says "Well then, lets see!" So the man whips out his dick and shoves it in the gators mouth. He then takes his cane and starts bashing the gator in the head with it. A crowd gathers around and everyone is astonished when he pulls out his dick without a single scratch.

He looks around at the crowd and says, "Does anyone else want to try?" An old lady raises her hand and says..."Sure, but don't hit me with that stick."
 
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"

The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to f*ck your brains out, and suck your t*ts dry."

Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"

He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."
 
That first one is saying, "I'm here you idiot,". Just some friendly correction.
 
Had to smile at the tortoise humping a rock. We had a Glider land out in a field of cows. While the pilot went to the farm the Bull for some reason took a fancy to the glider and mounted the cockpit. You don't want to know the damage a couple of tons of rampant bull does to a Glider.
The Bull also had to go to the vet as the shattered canopy did certain parts of its anatomy no good at all. Took them ages apparently to sedate the Bull.
Surprise, surprise the Glider was a right off but we all offered to help the pilot with the claims details for the insurance. The farmer also had some explaining to do.
 
here is an old joke i remembered when i was at the hospital today:

At the court:
"Sir indictee, why did you murdered the prostitute?"
"I'm a gyneacologist and when I went home from work, she stood in front of me saying: 'Hey young boy, for 5 bucks I'll show you my c*nt!'"
 

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